Family Reunion


The pods are moving in, clooooser, clooooser, cloooser. Suddenly, one touches Moltar, whoís only half asleep.

Moltar: Gah, Linda, your hands are like ice...ICE!! <wakes up> Hey, wake up you guys!

SG: <wakes up> No, mommy, NO!!

Zorak: <waking up> Iím not your mommy, thunder thighs!!

Moltar: I just remembered something <walks into studio, pod follows him> OK, you things, line up! <pods line up, they know whatís coming, Moltar is really, REALLY ticked> HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!!

SG: What in the name of Winsconsin dairy farmers is going on here??

Moltar: These FREELOADING pods are my...<dramatic music sweeling in the background, Moltar is momentarily distracted> Hey, IíM the director here, thank you! <music stops> These guys arenít a threat. Theyíre my....BROTHER-IN-LAWS!!!!

SG: Wha??

Moltar: Yeah, these idiots are always trying to get on my nerves. OUT!! OUT!!

Pods: <make funny noises>

Moltar: Ah, whatever!

Pods: <make angry weird noises>

Moltar: I didnít want to do this. <strikes a book of matches> BWAAAHAAAAAHAAAA!!!!! DIE!!! DIIIIEEEE!!!!!

SG: Moltar, DONíT!! We donít have insurance on this sorta thing...

Moltar: <stops> We donít?

SG: No. Now put the matches away or Iím not changing the paper in your cage.

Zorak: You still have to change MY paper, Space Turd!

SG: I told you I wasnít changing your paper for a month. You owe me for that little knish incident.

Zorak: How was I supposed to know it was flammable?

Moltar: Gah, I enjoy a good explosion as much as any lava man, but we have work to do here. <turns towards pods> Hey, I thought there were only 2 of you guys.

Pod #1: There were.

Pod#2: Yeah, hey, you werenít at the family reunion!

Moltar: Well, this could only be one person. <takes off pod costume to reveal....the colonial man!!> <all gasp> Itís that...guy.

Colonial man: And I wouldíve gotten away with it, too, if it werenít for those meddling kids. Feel my wrath! <flashes vampire teeth>

SG: AAARRRGGGHHH!!!! Itís the Blair Vampire!!

Brak: Hey, everybuddy!! Thereís gravy in the commissary again!

Colonial man: AAARRRGGGHHH!!!! NOT HIM!!!! NOT BRAKKY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER!!! <runs out the studio door and out the inner airlock where he prmptly explodes in deep space>

SG: Well, thereís something you donít see every day.

Brak: I could go for some mustard right about now.

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