The 12 Suggested Steps for Non-Single Men's Survival

  1. We admit that we are powerless over Women, that we make their lives unmanageable.
  2. We have come to believe there is a Power greater than ourselves and that She can be mad at us with no warning and without need of male logic to back it up.
  3. We have made a decision to turn our wallets and credit cards over to the care of Her as She tells us to.
  4. We have had to watch Her make a searching and fearless moral inventory of our magazine rack.
  5. We have admitted to Her, to Her friends, and to NO male ever the exact nature of our wrongs against Her.
  6. We are entirely ready to have Her enumerate all of these defects of character whenever and wherever She wishes, including in public or while we are watching the game with our friends.
  7. We humbly allow Her to remove all of our pride and our testosterone with it.
  8. We made a list of all women we had dated and became willing to never see, talk to or think of again.
  9. We have made every possible attempt to never, in any case, in any circumstance, ever compare Her to any other woman but allow Her to compare how we "measure up" at Her discretion.
  10. We have discontinued taking inventory of any woman walking by, and when we did so, promptly forgot about it
  11. We have sought, through soap operas and Cosmopolitan quizzes, to improve our contact with Her as She would have us understand Her, praying only that we not piss Her off by mistake yet again.
  12. Having been neutered as a result of these steps, we try to carry this message to our single friends that they might suffer with us.

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