Alabama Computer Terms

Log On: Making the wood stove hotter.
Log Off: Don't add wood.
Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove.
Download: Getting the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz: When you're not careful downloading (watch the toes!)
Floppy Disk: What you get from carrying too much wood.
RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.
Hard Drive: Getting home in mud season.
Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season.
Windows: What to shut when it's 30 below.
Screen: What you need for mosquito season.
Byte: What mosquitos do.
Chip: What to munch on.
Micro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.
Infrared: Where the leftovers go when Fred's around.
Modem: What you did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife.
Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy.
Keyboard: Where you hang your keys.
Software: Plastic eating utensils.
Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn.
Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up.
Port: Fancy wine.
Enter: C'mon in!
Random Access Memory: You can't remember how much that new rifle cost when your wife asks.

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