The Best of the Worst Song Titles

(Yes, these are REAL.)

  1. Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
  2. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
  3. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
  4. Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
  5. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
  6. How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
  7. I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
  8. I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
  9. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
  10. I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
  11. I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
  12. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
  13. I Wanna Whip Your Cow
  14. I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
  15. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
  16. I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
  17. I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
  18. I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
  19. I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
  20. I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
  21. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
  22. If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
  23. If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
  24. If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
  25. If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
  26. Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
  27. My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
  28. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
  29. My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
  30. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
  31. Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
  32. Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
  33. She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
  34. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
  35. She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
  36. She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
  37. Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
  38. They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
  39. Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
  40. When You Leave, Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
  41. You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
  42. You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
  43. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
  44. You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
  45. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
  46. Here's a Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares

Back to the Poetry & Songs section or the Humor Index