A Birdwatcher's Guide to Motorists

Gleeful Splatter-dasher: Loves to douse pedestrians.

Head-turning Chatterbird: Seldom keeps his eyes front.

Hill-passing Swift: Ignores "No Passing" signs on hills.

Migratory Weaverbird: Constantly jumps lanes in traffic.

Ruffle-fendered Tail-gater: Bears marks of too-close contact.

Addlepated Honker: Always sounds off without reason.

Nocturnal Dimwit: Drives in the dark with parking lights.

Torpid Highway Creeper: A menace to all other road runners.

One-eyed Nighthawk: Ignores his burned-out headlight.

Gawking Booby: Gazes around while driving. [A species related to the Head-turning Chatterbird, above]

Crosswalk Creeper: Can't resist cheating on the takeoff.

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