A Chain Letter to a Homeowner

Dear Fellow Homeowner:

This letter is being sent to you because we believe that you are critically interested in your front lawn. The spring season will soon be upon us, and there is a fertilizer club which will not cost you a cent to join.

Upon receiving this letter, go to the address at the top of the list and crap on the front lawn. You will not be the only one there, so don't be embarrassed. After this, make 5 copies of the letter, removing the top name and adding your name to the bottom, and send them to 5 of your friends who appreciate fine lawns.

You will not receive any money or checks, but within one week, if the chain is not broken, there will be 9,361 people crapping on your front lawn. Your reward will come this summer, when you have the greenest lawn in the neighborhood.

Mrs. Harry Butt
236 Corncob Alley

Miss Lucy Bowels
29 Bedpan Court

Mrs. Opal Crap
1422 Enema Dr.

Mr. Charles Syringe
2 Suppository Lane
Whistle Britches, PA

Mr. and Mrs. Took A. Fizzik
734 Running Loose Lane

Miss Smelly B. Hind
476 Diarrhea Way

G. Howie Phartz
278 Fertilizer Place

P.S. If you are constipated, please pass this along to your neighbor - DON'T BREAK THIS CHAIN!!! One man didn't give a crap, and lost his entire lawn!

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