Have you ever seen funny lists where they compare Beer to Women? Well I made my own one up because my wife smokes, but I don't and she reckons a fart under the blankets smells worse than her smokes. I beg to differ, hence this list.

25 Reason Farts are Better than Cigarettes

  1. You can have a fart in a restaurant.
  2. Farts don't cause cancer.
  3. You can never run out of farts.
  4. The price of a fart won't go up.
  5. There is no tax on farts.
  6. Friends are always willing to share them with you.
  7. Farts are available to minors.
  8. You can fart underwater.
  9. Farts don't leave stains on your fingers or lips.
  10. Farts aren't related to bad breath.
  11. You don't need an ashtray to fart.
  12. Farts won't make you cough.
  13. You can fart on Public Transport.
  14. You can fart in bed without fear of falling asleep and burning the house down.
  15. You don't need to take you hands off the steering wheel to fart.
  16. No body ever tries to bludge a fart of you in the pub.
  17. Farts don't have Government Health warnings on them.
  18. Farts have no affect on unborn Babies.
  19. Farts don't have to be lit to be enjoyed.
  20. You don't need a pocket to keep your farts in.
  21. There's no anti-farting laws.
  22. After a fart there is no butt to dispose of.
  23. You can fart while exercising.
  24. You get a variety with each fart.
  25. Careless farters haven't been known to start brush fires.

But there's also the reverse of this list which I could only think of one entry for:

  1. Smokes are easier to light than farts!!

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