12 Tone Scale: | The thing the State Police weigh your tractor trailer truck with |
A 440: | The highway that runs around Nashville |
Aeolian Mode: | How you like Mama's cherry pie |
Altos: | Not to be confused with "Tom's toes," "Bubba's toes" or "Dori-toes" |
Arpeggio: | "Ain't he that storybook kid with the big nose that grows?" |
Bach Chorale: | The place behind the barn where you keep the horses |
Bass: | The things you run around in softball |
Bassoon: | Typical response when asked what you hope to catch. |
Big Band: | When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players |
Bossa Nova: | The car your foreman drives |
Cadenza: | That ugly thing your wife always vacuums dog hair off of when company comes |
Cello: | The proper way to answer the phone |
Clarinet: | Name for your second daughter if you've already used Betty Jo |
Clef: | What you try never to fall off of |
Bass Clef: | Where you wind up if you do fall off |
Conductor: | The man who punches your ticket to Birmingham |
Cut Time: | Parole |
Cymbal: | What they use on deer-crossing signs so you know what to sight-in your pistol with |
Diminished Fifth: | An empty bottle of Jack Daniels |
First Inversion: | Grandpa's battle group at Normandy |
French Horn: | Your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come in at 4 a.m. |
Major Scale: | What you say after chasing wild game up a mountain: "Damn! That was a major scale!" |
Melodic Minor: | Loretta Lynn's singing dad |
Minor Third: | Your approximate age and grade at the completion of formal schooling |
Order of Sharps: | What a wimp gets at the bar |
Passing Tone: | Frequently heard near the baked beans at family barbecues |
Perfect Fifth: | A full bottle of Jack Daniels |
Perfect Pitch: | The smooth coating on a freshly paved road |
Pianissimo: | "Refill this beer bottle" |
Portamento: | A foreign country you've always wanted to see |
Quarter Tone: | What most standard pickups can haul |
Relative Major: | An uncle in the Marine Corps |
Relative Minor: | A girlfriend |
Repeat: | What you do until they just expel you |
Ritard: | There's one in every family |
Sonata: | What you get from a bad cold or hay fever |
Staccato: | How you did all the ceilings in your mobile home |
Tempo: | Good choice for a used car |
Time Signature: | What you need from your boss if you forget to clock in |
Transpositions: | Men who wear dresses |
Treble: | Women ain't nothin' but |
Tuba: | A compound word: "Hey, woman! Fetch me another tuba Bryll Cream!" |
Whole Note: | What's due after failing to pay the mortgage for a year |