That's What You Dictated, Doctor!

All the following gems are quotations from the dictation of staff physicians as Memorial Mission Hospital in Asheville, NC where I supervise the transcription unit. I don't intend this to be critical of our fine staff. It just shows how things sometimes come out no matter who happens to be doing the dictating.....

The left leg became numb at times and she walked it off.

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

Father died in his 90s of female trouble in his prostate and kidneys.

Both the patient and the nurse herself reported passing flatus.

Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.

Patient stated that if she would lie down, within two or three minutes something would come across her abdomen and knock her up.

By the time she was admitted to the hospital her rapid heart had stopped and she was feeling much better.

Patient has bilateral varicosities below the legs.

If he squeezes the back of his neck for 4 or 5 years it comes and goes.

Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank who felt we should sit tight on the abdomen, and I agreed.

Speculum was inserted between the eyes.

Dr. Blank is watching his prostate.

Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

Coming from Detroit, Mich., this man has no children.

At the time of onset of pregnancy the mother was undergoing bronchoscopy.

She was treated with Mycostatin oral suppositories.

Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old white female, mentally alert but forgetful.

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