"I am the most beautiful person in the world!" proclaimed Sleeping Beauty.
"No, you're not!" answered Quasimodo and Tom Thumb.
"I am the smallest person in the world!" shouted Tom Thumb.
"No, you're not!" said Sleeping Beauty and Quasimodo.
"I am the ugliest person in the world!" announced Quasimodo.
"No, you aren't!" replied Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty.
They decided that if the three were to get along, they needed a mediator, and decided that Merlin, clearly the smartest person in the world, would be ideal. Merlin agreed and summoned them all to his palace, where he announced he would meet with them one at a time.
Sleeping Beauty went in first and not a minute later came out beaming. "I am the most beautiful person in the world, Merlin said so!"
In went Tom Thumb and out he came, as quickly as had Sleeping Beauty. "I am the smallest person in the world - Merlin agrees!"
In goes Quasimodo and in he stays, a half hour, an hour, an hour and a half... Finally, he emerges distraught, muttering, "Who the hell is Janet Reno?"