How to Tell Where a driver is From

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Montreal.

One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.

One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Toronto.

One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: California. With gun in lap: L.A.

Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Saskatchewan, but driving in Montreal.

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy.

One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake :Vancouver.

One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Red Deer male.

One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Alberta country male.

One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment: Texas female.

Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: Rural Alberta.

Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the highway in the left lane with the left blinker on: Winnipeg.

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