If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But the I think, what if I was an ant and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they don' t go just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impression," and if you get a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?
If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.
It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honkin' and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea, but it's just eggs hatching.
Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?
One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with wooden stake.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo! I'd have all my money back.