Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere...and let the air out of their tires.
Families are like fudge...mostly sweet with a few nuts.
Middle age is when you choose cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
If you can remain calm, you don't have all the facts.
Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.