What a Guy Really Means When He Says...

"It's a guy thing." Really means.... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?" Really means.... "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." Really means.... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"It would take too long to explain." Really means.... "I have no idea how it works."
"That's interesting, dear." Really means.... "Are you still talking?"
"You know how bad my memory is." Really means.... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I do help around the house." Really means.... "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing." Really means.... "I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon."
"What did I do this time?" Really means.... "What did you catch me doing?"
"I heard you." Really means.... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
"I missed you." Really means.... "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."
"I don't need to read the instructions." Really means.... "I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."

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