| "It's a guy thing." | Really means.... | "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." |
| "Can I help with dinner?" | Really means.... | "Why isn't it already on the table?" |
| "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." | Really means.... | Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. |
| "It would take too long to explain." | Really means.... | "I have no idea how it works." |
| "That's interesting, dear." | Really means.... | "Are you still talking?" |
| "You know how bad my memory is." | Really means.... | "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." |
| "I do help around the house." | Really means.... | "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket." |
| "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing." | Really means.... | "I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon." |
| "What did I do this time?" | Really means.... | "What did you catch me doing?" |
| "I heard you." | Really means.... | "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me." |
| "I missed you." | Really means.... | "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper." |
| "I don't need to read the instructions." | Really means.... | "I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help." |