The Top Ten "He Said, She Said" One Liners


10 He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said...You wear briefs, don't you?
9 She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money.
8 He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.
She said...Well, you succeeded.
7 He said... "Two inches more, and I would be king."
She said..."Two inches less, and you'd be queen."
6 On wall in ladies room:  "My husband follows me everywhere."
Written just below it:  "I do not."
5 He said... "Shall we try a different position tonight?"
She said..."That's a good idea. You stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. "
4 Priest... "I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband."
She said..."Who's gonna look?"
3 He said... "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?"
She said... "Turn sideways and look in the mirror."
2 He said... "Let's go out and have some fun tonight."
She said..."Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on."
... and the number one "He Said...She said"...
1 He said... "Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?"
She said... "I would, but you're never there."


Back to the Battle of The Sexes section or the Humor Index