The Judge

A respected judge left a bar after a hard night of tippling. Halfway home, he was overcome by nausea and upchucked all over his fine suit.

He explained to his wife that a drunk had staggered into him in the street and soiled his clothing. "But don't worry," he said. "I had him arrested, and Monday I'll give him 30 days for assault and public drunkenness."

His adoring wife dutifully cleaned his suit without comment. Before leaving for court on Monday, he reminded her that he was going to sentence the suit soiler to 30 days, upon which she replied,

"Better give him 60 days, your honor, he crapped in your pants too."

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