Their number 1 product would be "Microsoft Winders".
Instead of an hourglass icon, you'd get an empty beer bottle.
Occasionally you'd bring up a winder covered with a Hefty bag and duct tape.
Instead of "Yes", "No" or "Cancel", dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Aww-right", "Naw" or "Git".
Instead of "Ta-dah!", the opening sound would be "Dueling Banjos".
The recycle bin in Winders95 would be an outhouse.
Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player, you'd hear "Freebird".
Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders95 theme song would be "Boot Scootin' Boogie".
PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt".
Instead of "VP", Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz".
Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.
Daisy Duke screen saver.
Flight simulator replaced with Tractor Pull simulator.
Microsoft CEO now referred to as "Billy Bob" (a.k.a. Bubba) Gates.
"This computer protected by Smith and Wesson" screen saver.
Directions to Corporate Headquarters would begin, "Go down the road a ways till you git to the third Oak tree..."
Microsoft Word includes a phonetic spell checker-"Hukt on Fonix Werkt For Me".