Money Woe$

I embrace poverty. To annoy me $end money.

Money talk$, but all mine ever $ay$ i$ goodbye.

Bird$ have bill$ too, but they keep on $inging.

All I a$k for i$ the opportunity to prove that money doe$n't buy happine$$.

Gambling: The $ure way of getting nothing for $omething. - Wil$on Mizner

My doctor i$ wonderful. Once in 1955 when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the x-ray$. - Joey Bi$hop

A banker i$ a man who lend$ you an umbrella when the weather i$ fair and take$ it away from you when it rain$. - Mark Twain

If you think nobody care$ if you're alive, try mi$$ing a couple of car payment$. - Earl Wil$on

Never inve$t your money in anything that eat$ or need$ painting. - Billy Ro$e

Ble$$ed are the brief for they $hall receive lower phone bill$.

Alway$ borrow from a pe$$imi$t. He doe$n't expect hi$ money back.

While money can't buy happine$$, it certainly let$ you choo$e your own form of mi$ery.

Credit i$ what keep$ you from knowing how far pa$t broke you are.

Nothing $eem$ to bring on an emergency a$ quickly a$ putting money a$ide in ca$e of one.

Certainly there are thing$ in life that money can't buy, but it'$ very funny -- did you ever try buying them without money? - Ogden Na$h

Where there'$ a will there'$ an Inheritance Tax.

It'$ trying not to appear poor that keep$ a lot of folk$ broke.

Adverti$ing (n): The $cience of arre$ting the human intelligence for long enough to get money from it. - $tephen Leacock

A fine i$ a tax for doing wrong. A tax i$ a fine for doing well.

The trouble with ca$h flow i$ that the tide alway$ $eem$ to be going out.

"Ever wonder why the IR$ call$ it Form 1040?" a$k$ Jay Leno. "For every $50 you earn, you get $10 and they get $40."

If the good Lord had meant for u$ to pay income tax, He'd have made u$ $mart enough to prepare the return.

If you think nobody know$ you're alive, try filing your income tax late!

For tho$e of you who are making out your income tax, remember that birth control pill$ are deductible, but only if they don't work.

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