Aleatoric Music: Music composed by the random selection of pitches and rhythms. Frequently found in some professional opera choruses.
Antiphonal: Leaving your answering machine on all the time.
Basso continuo: When a conductor can't get him to stop.
Cantus firmus: A singer in good physical condition. As opposed to the "Cantus phlabbious" (see Sackbutt).
Concerto grosso: A concert of, for example, accordions or kazoos.
Contralto: An alto who has been convicted.
Dominant: In an operatic relationship, usually the mezzo-soprano.
Fantasie: Dmitri Hvorostovsky in leather pants and a t-shirt.
Glissando: What usually precedes the highest note in the soprano's big aria.
Grand Pause: What occurs when the conductor loses his place.
Heterophony: The only kind of music allowed at the Southern Baptist Convention.
Leitmotif: Like a regular motif, but less filling.
Perfect pitch: Throwing a banjo in the dumpster without hitting the sides.
Polonaise: A condiment frequently put on a parrot sandwich.
Polychoral motet: Six parrots singing "Exultate justi."
Recapitulation: What usually happens after eating a parrot sandwich.
Sackbutt: A soprano over the age of 65.
Score: Basses 2, Castrati 0.
Smorzando: The "All-You-Can-Eat" buffet at Luciano's kitchen.
Theme: "Oh, the singing was terrible!"
Theme and variations: "The singing was terrible, the production was awful, and those costumes!"
Tonic: What is often enjoyed over ice after an evening at the opera.