It's the reed!
It's the weather.
The _____(s) are playing to loud so I can't hear myself.
My music has too much writing on it from the last person.
You didn't give me enough time to soak my reeds; how can you expect me to play well?
It's too dark in here- I can't see my music.
(pointing to someone else) It was him/her!
You forgot about me when we were tuning.
It's the reed!
It was a clarinet who squeaked.
I couldn't practice because my ____ was sick and i had to care for them.
My dog ate my music.
It's the reeds!
You don't respect me enough in in rehearsals.
My instrument's broken. (Then after the concert it magically fixes itself.)
I haven't warmed up yet.
My hands are cold because the room is too cold, so how can I be expected to move them quickly?
I'm not feeling well today.
I just got back from the dentist-my mouth is sore.
It's the reed!
This isn't my good oboe.
It's SUPPOSED to sound that way! Don't you know anything about oboes?
The ____ isn't in tune and it's throwing me off.
That one thing isn't doing what it's supposed to. See? (point to any part of the oboe) I'll have to get someone to look at it.
It's the reed!
You only THINK you heard me make a mistake!
It's called "improvisation." Duh!
I'm using a new complicated technique-very top secret.
It's the reed!