Revenge of The One-Liners


If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What's another word for thesaurus?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?


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