Question: "If you could live forever, would you and why?"
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because
if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot
live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
---- Miss Alabama, at the 1994 Miss Universe contest
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
---- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed
to pay his taxes
"Smoking kills. And if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
your life."
---- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal
anti-smoking campaign
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
the country."
---- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.
"Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued.
Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1,
1976."
---- Letter from the Illinois Department of Public Aid
"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them
unsafe."
---- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia
"I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly
underpolluted."
---- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why
we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries.
"After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the
school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele
to the post."
---- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Oakland, California
"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."
---- Dizzy Dean, explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a
ball in the 1934 World Series.