The Revenge of Deep Thoughts

Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If you make it idiot proof, someone will make a better idiot.

f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.

Is it OK to yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded Firehouse?

Gravity. It's not just a good idea, it's the law!

It's bad luck to be superstitious.

Common Sense Isn't.

Money: The Mint makes it first, and we try to make it last.

Sooner or later, EVERYONE stops smoking.

Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard.

It may be that your sole purpose is to serve as a warning to others.

A hen is an egg's way of making another egg.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

Argue not with dragons, for thou art crunchy and go well with brie.

I think, therefore I am overqualified.

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut.

War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

He who laughs, lasts.

Back to the One-Liners section or the Humor Index