How to Shower Like a Woman
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights
and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along
the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note must do more
sit-ups.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide
loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural
avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off).
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Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it
waxed instead.
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Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water
pressure.
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Turn off the shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair
in super absorbent second towel.
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Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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