I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb
.... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
-Dolly Parton
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart
woman with a dumb guy.
-Erica Jong
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told
me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels
good for 36 hours.
-Rita Rudner
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't
decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
-Rita Rudner
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
-Wendy Liebman
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
-Erma Bombeck
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr
I think-therefore I'm single.
-Lizz Winstead
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another
country.
-Elayne Boosler
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson
I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
-Gilda Radner
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done,
ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
career.
-Gloria Steinem
Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
-Gloria Steinem
I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which
answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning,
a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night
-Marie Corelli
Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
-Baroness Edith-Summerskill
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent
is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?
-Linda Ellerbee
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt