Advice for Southerners Moving to Yankee Country


Just because someone is dead, doesn't mean they can't vote.

Every Yankee will think he is better than you. Don't try to correct him. It will only shatter his petty insecurities and jealousies.

A Yankee sends his kids to an all-white school, works at his all-white job, comes home to his all-white neighborhood, goes to all-white cocktail parties where they talk about how horrible it is that the South is segregated.

The rough translation for "Youse Guys" is "Y'all."

You will see bumper stickers which read, "If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk." Take this VERY seriously.

Never, I repeat never, put tomatoes in clam chowder.

If you satirize a Yankee, he won't get it.

A raised middle finger is considered a courteous greeting.

If you are planning a wedding, don't expect anyone to come.

For the price of a Rueben, you could own both Carolinas.

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