10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 in the morning.
6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck happened to your pants.
5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.
3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
2.WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally "disappear".
AND THE TOP NEW WARNING...
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.