10. Use FedEx's new "Not Very Important" class.
9. Looks like that battalion of army ants you've been training can be used for more than just conquering the world.
8. Mark package "For Clinton Defense Fund" and give it to any Chinese dude.
7. Throw them in Santa's sleigh, then mark out the pages in his Filofax up to December 24th.
6. "Hey Jimmy, instead of cutting my grass this week, how'd you like to ride your bike to Chicago?"
5. For quick shuttle between Boulder and Brentwood, stick it in Geraldo's video truck.
4. Hands Across America II
3. "Pony Express '97" -- Actually just three guys and a Ford Mustang.
2. In New York City: carrier rat
1. Two words: Big-ass slingshot