Vocabulary Lesson for New Parents

BOTTLE FEEDING An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2am too.
DEFENSE What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let de children play outside.
DROOLING How teething babies wash their chins.
DUMBWAITER One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FEEDBACK The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL NAME What you call your child when you're mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
HEARSAY What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
INDEPENDENT How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
LOOK OUT! What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
OW The first word spoken by children with older siblings
PUDDLE A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
SHOW OFF A child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it
STOREROOM The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
THUNDERSTORM A chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.
TOP BUNK Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
WHODUNIT None of the kids that live in your house.
WHOOPS An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."

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