| BOTTLE FEEDING | An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2am too. |
| DEFENSE | What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let de children play outside. |
| DROOLING | How teething babies wash their chins. |
| DUMBWAITER | One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. |
| FEEDBACK | The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. |
| FULL NAME | What you call your child when you're mad at him. |
| GRANDPARENTS | The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. |
| HEARSAY | What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. |
| INDEPENDENT | How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. |
| LOOK OUT! | What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it. |
| OW | The first word spoken by children with older siblings |
| PUDDLE | A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. |
| SHOW OFF | A child who is more talented than yours. |
| STERILIZE | What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it |
| STOREROOM | The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything. |
| THUNDERSTORM | A chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed. |
| TOP BUNK | Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies. |
| WHODUNIT | None of the kids that live in your house. |
| WHOOPS | An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge." |