The Brak Show: Goldfish

September 2, 2001


[Fade in on Brak's lower half as the theme music plays. He is bouncing in time with the music. Pan down to the floor, on which the title "Leave it To Brak" appears. Cut to a head-and-shoulders shot of Brak's mother, beside which the words "starring Marsha Crenshaw" appear. Brak's father looks over his newspaper; by his head are the words "George Lowe." Zorak is blasting a backpack-mounted flamethrower, above which are the words "C. Martin Croker." Brak looks around a corner, and on the wall are the words "and Andy Merrill as Brak." Cut to a shot of a very nice, very symmetrical house on a neatly-cut, symmetrical lawn. Dissolve to the first scene of the show.]

[Fade in on the kitchen. Brak's mother is standing behind the table and Brak's father is reading a newspaper.]
Dad:
I see here that the Carnival of Feet is coming to town this weekend.
Mom:
Brak's so excited. He's been buzzing about it all week.
[Brak zooms into the shot.]
Brak:
Hey, ev'ry-buddy!
Mom:
Good morning, little pooper.
Brak:
Boy, I'm as happy as a bag 'a wigs! You know why?
Dad:
Uh, you found your real parents?
Brak:
[hurt] What?
Mom:
[to Dad] Now dear, don't tease the boy.
Dad:
I thought it was funny. [raises his newspaper] You just don't get it, that's all.
Mom:
Honey, go ahead and tell us why you're happy as the wig.
Brak:
Okay, Mom!
[singing] Tomorrow is the day of the Carnival of Feet!
There'll be feet there and feet, and don't forget the feet!
I'll be there if I'm not somewhere else
At the one and only Carnival of Feet! Yeah!
Mom:
Don't forget, dear, I told Thundercleese you'd take care of his goldfish while he was off exploding the hordes of Gar.
Brak:
But Mom, what about the Achilles Heel of Horror?
Mom:
Dear, it'll only take a few minutes.
Brak:
But The Haunting of Bunion Manor!
Mom:
Honey-
Brak:
[shouting] What about the feet! The feet, Mommy! [screaming] I gotta have the feet! The feet! I gotta have the feet! I gotta have the feet!
Dad:
Brak! No more of this! You need to get your feet off your head, and your pants to your ears, and go help someone who has no feet! Because the footless animals cannot walk over here on their little non-footed areas and tell us how hungry they are! Or can they? [raising his newspaper] I don't think they can.
[An explosion is seen outside through the window, and the scene shakes. A siren is heard.]
Dad:
Oh, goody, Zorak has arrived.
Someone On A Loudspeaker:
Surrender! Throw down your weapon!
[Seen through the window, Zorak walks across the lawn.]
Zorak:
Screw you, pork chop!
[Gunshots are heard. Brak and Brak's Mom look at the camera, surprised.]
Zorak:
Yeow!
Mom:
Brak, you better get going. Thundercleese is expecting you.
Brak:
All right, I guess I'll get goin' if goin' is what I need t'get. No Soliciting

[Wipe to a spiky, forbidding fortress with a nicely landscaped lawn. Brak is standing at the door. He rings the doorbell in the center. A red line on a screen on the door wiggles when the door speaks.]
Door:
State your name.
Brak:
Sausage Mahoney!
Door:
You are here for the Mr. Tickles briefing. Foreshadowing
[Brak's face is distorted, as if seen through a fisheye lens.]
Brak:
That what'cha tell me. [leans closer] Chief Metalbottom.
[A hole opens up under Brak. He falls in, yelling. Then he falls through a pipe by which Thundercleese is standing. Brak stands up.]
Brak:
Hey, can I ride that tube again? I haven't had that much fun since I chased my hamster all the way to St. Louis! Have you heard that one?
Thundercleese:
[pointing with his fists] Silence!
Brak:
[flinching] I'll save that for later.
Thundercleese:
Follow me!
[Wipe to Brak following Thundercleese down a hall. Brak is walking; Thundercleese is flying on foot mounted jets.]
Brak:
Hey, what's that over there?
Thundercleese:
[pointing] The Sword of Slaughter!
Brak:
Oh boy! What's that over there?
Thundercleese:
[pointing] Cannon of Fear!
Brak:
How 'bout that?
Thundercleese:
Missiles of Unmentionable Terror!
Brak:
What's that? Is that a beach ball?
Thundercleese:
No! It is the Battle Sphere of Doom!
Brak:
What, what d'you think that thing is?
Thundercleese:
That's a light switch.
Brak:
[disappointed] Uh-huh.
Thundercleese:
[raising his arms] Of Total Devastation!
Brak:
Ya don't say?
[Dramatic music begins as the camera focuses on a set of curtains. As Thundercleese speaks it lifts to reveal a single goldfish in an aquarium with castle and sunken car ornaments.] Flinchy
Thundercleese:
And now, prepare for the ripping sensation of Mr. Tickles! He is my one joy in life.
Brak:
Lemme tell you 'bout the one joy in my life. I like to take and fill my pants up with pudding-
Thundercleese:
[pointing threateningly at Brak] Enough!
[Brak flinches and Mr. Tickles darts behind the castle. Then a chamber opens in a riveted steel panel. Inside is a canister of "Tickle Snax."]
Thundercleese:
[continuing] Here are his provisions. You will feed Mr. Tickles twice daily. Breakfast, and a light afternoon snack.
[Brak poses enthusiastically. Mr. Tickles hides behind the car.]
Brak:
10-4, good buddy!
Thundercleese:
Feed him exactly three milligrams of Tickle Snax! And be forewarned - three hams will certainly kill him. [close-up of Thundercleese's, uh, face] Three hams.
Brak:
[singing] Three hams will kill him,
Three hams will kill him,
I shouldn't feed him three hams!
[Brak spreads his arms on the last word. Mr. Tickles hides behind the car.]
Thundercleese:
Excellent! Your mission begins in the morning.

[Wipe to Brak's house. Fade in on Dad.]
Dad:
I like the spandex because it makes each - each behind muscle look like glorious small television. Stand and be counted
[Dad is standing in his chair. Zorak boings into frame.]
Zorak:
Hey! Why're you all still alive?!
[Mom and Dad look at each other.]
Zorak:
Oh, that's right, it's only Tuesday. [to Brak] Ah well, let's get to Foot Carnival!
Brak:
First I gotta take care of some business at Thundercleese's house.

[Wipe to the room with Mr. Tickles's aquarium. Brak and Zorak are standing in front of it.]
Brak:
Now what did Thundercleese say I was s'posed to feed Mr. Tickles for breakfast? I forget...
[Thundercleese appears in a thought bubble by Brak's head. Brak turns to look at it.]
Thundercleese:
[singing] Three hams will fill him,
Three hams will thrill him,
Why don't you feed him three hams!
[Thundercleese holds his arms up. A giant plate with three hams lands on his hands.]
Brak:
Thank you, thought bubble!
[The thought bubble disappears.]
Brak:
Hey, Zorak, d'you think Mr. Tickles would like a delicious three ham omelet?
Zorak:
[looking at an ornate, framed sword] Piss off!
Brak:
Okay! One three ham omelet comin' up!
[Brak zips out of frame. Zorak is looking at The Battle Sphere of Doom.
Zorak:
Hey, look, a beach ball. I think I'll just-
[Zorak reaches one finger out and touches the sphere. It explodes.]
Zorak:
[screaming] Aaaaayyyyyyaaaaahhhhhowwww, my eyes!
[Brak zips into frame carrying a plate with three hams in a bed of scrambled eggs.]
Brak:
How's this look?
[Zorak is charred. One arm is missing. As he speaks, his missing hand falls to the ground.]
Zorak:
[coughs] Awful! Plunk it in there! Droppin' the kids off at the pool
[The plate with the hams sinks to the bottom of the aquarium. Mr. Tickles hides behind the car. Brak and Zorak, seen from underwater, look down into the tank through the top. Eating sounds begin immediately.]
Brak:
[???] Lookit 'im work those hams. Ham on, ham eater!
[Closeup on Mr. Tickles's face, which now looks like it's on a yellow flounder. He belches loudly.]
Brak:
He don't look so good.
Zorak:
That's 'cause he's dead.
Brak:
What?
Zorak:
Nice work, buddy.
Brak:
[wailing] Ohhh, it was the delicious breakfast! Oh, Blag blab an' blorn!
[The camera pulls back from the aquarium, showing Mr. Tickles lying face up, filling the tank.]
Brak:
[continuing] Mr. Tickles's been done in by overwhelming deliciosity! [He cries.]
Zorak:
Gotta ditch the evidence. Eh, where's the toilet?

[Wipe to Thundercleese's bathroom. Mr. Tickles's back half is sticking our of a very futuristic toilet.]
Brak:
Lemme tell you about Mr. Tickles. When he wanted food he would swim up to the top 'a the water and make that "bak-bak-ba" noise. He was a good, good eater. He ate a li'l too much if ya ask me, but he would-
[Zorak walks to the other side of the toilet. Brak is interrupted by the sound of a toilet flushing.]
Brak:
Zorak, I wasn't finished!
Zorak:
He was startin' to stink! Gaggin' me.
[Mr. Tickles floats back to the surface.]
Brak:
Look, he's comin' back!
Zorak:
We need to bust him up. Stick your foot down there.
Brak:
What?
Zorak:
Stick yer foot down there and stomp on 'im!
[In a head-and-shoulders shot Brak is moving up and down, eyes closed, making squelchy noises.]
Zorak:
Oh yeah.
Brak:
Aw man! Making whine
Zorak:
Hurry up! We're missin' the feet!
[Brak is standing in the toilet bowl, stepping around like he is crushing grapes, eyes still shut.]
Brak:
I'm not goin'. Not after this tragedy.

[Wipe to Brak's family's kitchen. Mom and Dad are sitting at the table.]
Dad:
If he makes some pants out of chips, then he's got a party outfit, I'm telling you this.
Mom:
[looking to the right] Oh, hello, honey, how was your day?
[Brak walks across, right to left, without pausing.]
Brak:
[miserably] Don't talk to me, Mom, I'm a murderer!
Mom:
Oh, dear.
Brak:
I'm goin' to bed but I don't see how I'll ever get to sleep!

[Wipe to Brak's Bedroom, night. Brak is laying on top of the covers, fully clothed.]
Brak:
[talking in his sleep] Man, I love sleepin'! [snores] I wish I could wake up so I could go back to sleep again. [snores]
[A bright light appears above the bed. It resolves into a floating, transparent image of Mr. Tickles, which speaks in a spooky vibrato.]
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
Brak! Wake up!
Brak:
[sitting up] Oh, Mr. Tickles! I'm sorry I hammed you to death!
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
I forgive you, Brak. [belches] Mmmm! Delicious!
Brak:
Mr. Tickles, how d'you, how d 'you think Thundercleese is gonna take this?
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
Oh my God! He'll tear your arms off!
Brak:
[shouting] But I love my arms! That's where my hands live!
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
Don't worry. All is not lost. There is another!
Brak:
Another what, another three hams?
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
Don't tempt me, ha ha ha ha, oh, just kidding. No, I have a twin brother! If you capture him and place him in my tank, Thundercleese will never know the difference!
Brak:
D'you know how many fish there are in the world? What're the chances of me catching your brother?
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
Pretty good! He lives in One Fish Lake.
Brak:
[imitating Mr. Tickles's vibrato] One Fish Lake? Is that over by the airport?
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
No! If you hit the airport you've missed it.
Brak:
Got it. Thanks for the tip, bub! [poses as if about to take off running]
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
Hey, wanna see something really cool? Do Deformed Rabbit, it's my favorite.
Brak:
I'm k- I'm kinda in a hurry.
[The silhouette of a smiling dog appears on the wall.]
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
Look it's a shadow puppet! Can you guess what it is? It's a doggie! I think he likes you.
[Brak walks across the frame, ignoring the shadow puppet that tries to follow him.]
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
Hey, where're you going?
[The sound of a door shutting is heard.]
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
Bad doggie!
[The shadow puppet changes expression to sad.]
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
You scared him off!

[Wipe to A shot of a lake, at the front of which is the sign "One Fish Lake." A plane ascends in the background. Brak is descending through the water in an old-fashioned diving suit, complete with air hose leading to the surface.]
Brak:
Boy, I tell ya, water sure is lucky! There's two hydrogens for every oxyg- [He looks down.] Hey, look, a house! Bracques Cousteau
[Brak lands in front of a small wooden house on the lake floor. A bearded goldfish with a hat floats in front of it.]
Brak:
Well hello there! Is your name Mr. Tickles Brother?
Mr. Tickles's Brother:
I ain't nobody's brother! I'm a loner!
[Camera view of a mailbox bearing the lettering "DON TICKLES NOTARY PUBLIC"]
Brak:
What 'bout that mailbox?
Mr. Tickles's Brother:
That ain't my mailbox! Fella lived here before me before me left that. Some say he grew a beard and still lives here. But that's a damn lie!
Brak:
Well, that's just great! [shouting] Thanks for noting, Don Tickles Notary Public! [to Mr. Tickles's Brother] So long, bearded stranger.
Mr. Tickles's Brother:
[swimming up to Brak's face level] U-uh, hey, hold on there, sonny, wanna see something really cool?
[He begins singing hambone style and moving up and down. Brak begins rising through the water.]
Brak:
I'll ask Mom and Dad. They'll know what to do!

[Wipe to Brak's kitchen.]
Dad:
How the hell do I know?
[Mom and Dad are seated at the table. Brak is standing there, still in his wetsuit.]
Mom:
Now, dear.
Dad:
All right, then. Fine! Brak, remember that even though a man may have more hairs on his head than there are stars in the sky, that does not mean that he can plan a successful party that movie stars will attend and enjoy - responsibly. Don't you agree, Mother?
[Mom is no longer at the table. She looks in from outside through the window.]
Mom:
I wasn't listening.
Brak:
Sounds like somebody's goin' to the movies! I think it's me! Ah!

[Wipe to Brak and Zorak walking on a sidewalk.]
Zorak:
What're we gonna see?
Brak:
Hot Dog in the Mornin'! This is the one where the little hot dog finds his way home.
Zorak:
Far out.
Brak:
Oh look, there's Mr. Thundercleese!
[Thundercleese comes down and lands on his boot jets in front of Brak and Zorak.]
Brak:
How's it goin'?
Thundercleese:
Where is Mr. Tickles?!
Brak:
I don't know!
[A thought bubble appears beside Brak's head. In it is an image of himself. He looks at it.] Sometimes I tell myself, this is not my beautiful house
Brak in Thought Bubble:
Oh, I don't know either.
[The thought bubble disappears again.]
Brak:
I'd, I'd say he's at the movies.
Zorak:
Check the sewer.
Thundercleese:
Why?
Zorak:
That's where things go - when ya flush 'em!
[Zorak laughs evilly. Thundercleese moves his arms around dramatically in front of a rushing blue background.]
Zorak:
[as Thundercleese gestures] And we stomped him! [evil laughter] And we busted 'im all up! [evil laughter]
Brak:
[wailing] Nooooo-
[Thundercleese points at Brak and Zorak. Brak screams unintelligibly. Then a bright yellow glow appears in the middle of the screen. It resolves into The Ghost of Mr. Tickles.]
Thundercleese:
Mr. Tickles! You've come back!
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
I've come back, all right. To stop you from destroying these brilliant hamologists!
Thundercleese:
I do not understand!
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
Have you ever tried one of their ham omelets? They're to die for. Die!
Thundercleese:
Then I will spare them, if that is your wish!
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
[drifting over to Brak] Brak! What happened to the plan? You blew it, man!
Brak:
I know I blew it, that's what I do! [to the camera] But this time I learned a lesson.
[singing] Food can be your friend
Or food can be your foe,
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
[singing] But if you eat too much of it-
Brak and The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
[singing] To Heaven you will go.
Brak:
Hey Mr. Tickles, what's Heaven like?
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
It's all loose women, hot dance clubs, and Latin music.
Zorak:
Damn, that sounds great!
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
It is great! But you're not invited. You're going to Hell!
Zorak:
Oh, I see.
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
You can't be surprised.
Zorak:
Nah, I guess not.
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
[drifting over to Thundercleese] And now, Thundercleese. You nurtured me with loving care. I was your entire world, wasn't I.
Thundercleese:
Yes. It is true.
Zorak:
This... is lame-ass. Semaphore
[Thundercleese moves his arms around dramatically in front of a rushing blue background.]
Zorak:
Well, it is.
[Thundercleese blasts Zorak with rays from his fists. Zorak screams and explodes. When the smoke clears there is only a pair of yellow boots standing in a scorch mark. Mr. Tickles is behind them.]
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
As I was saying, Thundercleese, know this! I will not abandon you, my friend. [drifts over to Thundercleese] All you have to do is call my name, and I'll be there. I'll be there. [softly, as he fades away] And I'll be there...
Thundercleese:
Mr. Tickles. Mr. Tickles!
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
What?
Thundercleese:
I need to hold - Disco Inf - er, Flood.
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
Not now!
[Mr. Tickles is in a live action dance club with a female fish. Latin music blares as everyone, human and fish, dances.]
The Ghost of Mr. Tickles:
Work it, baby! Bring it around town! [VO as the credits roll] Yeah! Me and you, baby. Oh yeah. Oh, y-y-y-yeah. Y-y-y-yeah. You've got a set of gills on you! Has anyone ever told you that? Watch it now!



featuring

Carey Means
Matt Maiellaro
 

written by

Jim Fortier
Andy Merrill
Pete Smith

 

master compositor

Rob Fearon

 

music director

Eddie Horst

 

production coordinator

Natali Tesche-Ricciardi

production assistant

John Brestan

 

animation by

Wild Hare Studios

additional animation

Turner Studios
Primal Screen

 

audio mixer

Rob Sanders

avid editor

Edward Hastings

 

special thanks

Pegasus Hobbies
Phantasy Swords
Lisa Roach
Mott's Miniatures, Inc.
Aztec Imports, Inc.
Cardinal, Inc.

 

produced by

Jim Fortier
Pete Smith

 

executive producers

Kevin Crofford
Mike Lazzo

 

Filmed on Location
at Williams Street
and Turner Studios

[Cartoon Network Logo]

(c) 2001 Cartoon Network. An AOL Time Warner Company. All Rights Reserved.


"The Brak Show" is, like it says above, copyright 2001 Cartoon Network. HTML document copyright Kim McFarland. If you find any errors or can tell me what those question marks are supposed to be, please E-mail me!

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