What you need to do is go to a posh and ritzy grocery store that prepares your holiday meal for you. someplace, oh, let's say, like King Food Castle. You go up to the guy in the deli department 'n say, "Hey, Jackie boy! Pull me up some o' them yams and wrap up that big honey glazer of a ham for me. Oh, and do me solid by dishin' me up some a' those green beans and corn. Say, while I'm here you might as well throw in that liver spread. I think I'll have that for an appetizer. And hey, how's about that black forest cake. What? That's Molly's job in the bakery? Well, I don't see Molly! Look, you're standin' right next to the cake, why don't you just take it out and hand it to me! Hey, the customer's always right, isn't he? Well, GIMME THE CAKE THEN! Whaddaya mean, you don't have the key? Hey, just forget it then! If you can't help me, then I'll go down to Dan's Food Shelf. Good ol' Dan goes out of his way to serve his customers! He would've given me that cake!"
Then you say all that, 'n then you go stomp outta the store. Then you go to Dan's Food Shelf. But Dan's not there because it's a holiday and his deli's closed so you have to settle for prepackaged meat n' a loaf of bread.
And there you have it, a grand New Year's feast, compliments of me, Brak! Bon appetit!
Sketch © Cartoon Network. HTML document © Kim
Back to Brak's Scriptbook or Brak's Scrapbook