No Script

3:12

Ghost:: Well, all-righty! (Pause) Well, uh... huh, all-righty. (pause) you betcha.
Zorak:: Um, am I supposed to have a line here?
Ghost:: Let's say hello to our good friend, Zorak!
(whispering) Zorak, there's no script for this sketch.
Zorak:: (whispering) Why are you whispering?
Ghost:: (whispering) Because I'm scared.
Zorak:: (whispering) Ohhh. (normal voice) What are we supposed to do, ad lib?
Ghost:: No! I think we're supposed to make it up as we go along!
Zorak:: Yikes!
Ghost:: Where's my script!? How hard can it be to write this gobbledygook!?
Zorak:: Maybe the scriptwriters have writers' block.
Ghost:: It's all that cheese they eat. Seems like every other day somebody's rolling a fifty-pound cheese wheel in there. Cheese'll block ya up.
Zorak:: Have you tried the new aerosol cheese? Mmmm! It's cheese-a-riffic!
Ghost:: Yes. Hey, here's Brak! Brak, say something funny!
Brak:: Something funny!
Zorak:: No, act stupid!
Brak:: Okay, so I was sitting in this diner and this man walked up to me and he said, "Hey, buddy, I haven't had anythi - I haven't have anything to eat in a long time", so I bit him. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh. Ah, I don't know if I told that one right.
Zorak:: Yes, boys and girls, this is a network television show.
Ghost:: Zorak, hit the fade out button.
Zorak:: No. The producer just told me to stretch.
Ghost:: Stretch what?
Zorak:: Stretch the sketch!
Ghost:: What sketch? There's no script, no direction, so far it's just Brak rambling on like an idiot!
Brak:: (singing) Ohhhh, I'm a rambling idiot, rambling everywhere! I'm a rambling idiot, in my underwear!
Ghost:: Go away, you brainless baloney-headed boob!
Zorak:: Hey! Don't take it out on Brak, just because YOU can't come through in a clutch.
Ghost:: Whattayou mean?
Zorak:: You're always blabbing about how lame the writers are, what a sissy the Producer is, right?
Ghost:: Yeah. So?
Zorak:: So, be a professional! Be entertaining! Say something witty! Say something (snicker) intelligent! Look like you know what you're doing!
Ghost:: Hit the fade out button NOW.
Zorak:: Hit it yourself.
Ghost:: You know one thing I've noticed about this show, every time the writers hit the wall you know what they do?
Zorak:: No. What?
Ghost:: They have me blow you up with my destructo ray! Haven't you ever noticed that?
Zorak:: Eh ... now that you mention it...
Ghost:: Stuck for an ending? Blow up Zorak! It's like a running joke.
Zorak:: Yess, well, that reminds me, I've got to be running along myself.
Ghost:: Not till we finish this stupid sketch.
Zorak:: Eh - why don't you tell a little joke. That would be fun. Maybe.
Ghost:: Good idea. I've got a real not one for ya!
Zorak:: That's not exactly what I YAAAAHHHH!
(Space Ghost zaps Zorak)
Brak:: Somehow, I knew that was gonna happen.
Ghost:: Brak, what say we fade to black and see what's happening in the next sketch.
Brak:: Whatever you say, Mister Blastaway.
Ghost:: Okay, here goes!