Predictions for 1998


Here are my predictions for the new year.

Prediction Number One: There'll be a new "putting out the cat" champion nest year, as three-time winner Horace Minkey will lose by a whisker to newcomer Gadzook Philbottom at the Putting-Out-The-Cat Championship in Brussels, Belgium.

Prediction Number Two: citizens of New York City will be chocked and amazed as this crazy woman goes flyin' across the Manhattan skyline, hangin' by her teeth. When asked why she did such a dumb thing, the woman will proclaim: "SOMEBODY CALL ME A DENTIST!"

Prediction Number Three: Prince Charles of England will decree that henceforth he will be known as Ken (Pthppp!) Kenworthy, and whenever you say his name you have to spin around twice and eat a grape. Two weeks later the people will declare, "Boy, that Prince Char - I mean Ken (Pthppp!) Kenworthy is crazy!" And they spin around and eat grapes.

Prediction Number Four: I predict that Baby Number Four will get his ear pinched. (In the video, the ear of baby number four is grabbed by another baby. Honking sound effect.) What'd I tell ya.

Eat your heart out, Dione Warwick! You and your psychic friends!

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