(No theme song or title sequence. Instead, there's a title cell for a few seconds that says, simply:)
(Suddenly, a shot of the outside of the Widowmaker. Pearl's driving, Megabyte's riding shotgun, and Bobo and Observer are stuffed in the back with a man who's looking out the window. Bobo and Observer are playing portable video games. Bobo suddenly looks startled and starts slapping his game repeatedly.)
Bobo: Brain Guy! I need new batteries!
Observer: (incredulous) But I created six AA's for you with my mind just four minutes ago!
Bobo: Well you didn't do it right! C'mon, I was playing Sonic the Hedgehog!
Observer: (indignantly) What, you think I can go on creating batteries for you indefinately? I've already got five hundred dollars of tickets for breaking the Law of Conservation of Matter!
Bobo: Well just let me use the lighter adapter then!
Observer: But I need the lighter plug for my Game Boy! I've been trying to catch that stupid Pikachu for the past three hours!
(Bobo mutters something under his breath)
Observer: I heard that! (leaning forward) Pearl, he's bugging me again, make him stop!
Bobo: Well I wouldn't bug him if he'd stop hogging the lighter plug!
(Bobo and Observer bicker loudly about whose turn it is to use the adapter and which one of them is the other's inferior. Megabyte's eyes narrow and turn an interesting shade of red.)
Megabyte: (restrained) Pearl, would you be good enough to do something about those pets of yours? They're so frightfully annoying.
Pearl: (yelling at her henchmen through the rear-view mirror) Shut up right now or I'm turning this ship around and we're going back to that planet of the sentient plush toys!
(The fighting immediately stops. Bobo suddenly gives Observer a dark look and pokes him in the side. Observer pokes him back and their brawl continues in silence.)
Megabyte: (checking something on the dashboard) Well, it would seem that we're in range now. Shall we?
Pearl: Sure. Fire up that transmitter dohickey and let's get this show started. (looking up at the camera) Hey Nelstick-in-the-mud.
(Cut to the SOL bridge. There's an electric football machine set up on the table with jelly beans inside. Everyone's hunched over it in eager anticipation. No one notices the red light flashing.)
Magic Voice: Runners to your marks! Get set! Go!
(The table starts up, and the beans start vibrating around. Mike, Bob, and the 'bots loudly urge their jellybeans on to victory.)
(Cut to the Widowmaker. Megabyte, Bobo, and Observer are shocked and appalled. Pearl is smiling smugly.)
Pearl: (nudging Megabyte in the side) And you thought they weren't cracking.
Bobo: Where'd they get the jelly beans?
(Cut to the SOL. Cambot's zoomed in on the action, and the beans are quickly approaching the little match sticks with the "Finish" flags taped to them.)
Magic Voice: Cinnamon is making a break up the left side of the track, licorice is close behind, but wait, here comes spearmint. . . it's neck and neck coming down to the finish line and yes it is. . . Spearmint, by a nose!
(Mike throws his hands in the air and howls in delight. The bots seem disappointed. Bob tears up his ticket in disgust.)
Gypsy: (noticing the red light) Guys, the Mystery Machine is calling.
Mike: Okay Gypse, just give us a sec to clean this up before. . .
Gypsy: They've been connected for the past five minutes.
(Mike, Bob, Servo, and Crow freeze in horror and turn to Cambot.)
Crow: Umm, it's not what you think.
(Cut to the Widowmaker)
Pearl: Listen, I don't care. I'm much too excited about the experiment tonight. I think you're going to like it. It's --
(Cut to the SOL)
Servo: Hey, wait a minute! It's only Friday! The experiment's not till tomorrow!
Mike: Yeah, and what's the deal with calling us without a theme song or a door sequence or a warning or something?
(Cut to the Widowmaker. Pearl, Megabyte, and Observer are grinning evil grins. Bobo's stealthily trying to sneak the lighter adapter out of Observer's Game Boy. The stranger is still looking out the window.)
Megabyte: (aside to Pearl) Do you want to tell them or should I?
Pearl: By all means.
Megabyte: Thank you. (To the satellite) As you may or may not know, ReBoot has been picked up in the United States by the Cartoon Network.
(SOL. Bob's pointing at everyone aggressively. Everyone else is trying hard to ignore him.)
Bob: Ha! Yeah! In your face! Did I call that one? I think I called that one. Yes! Yes! Yes!
Crow: Thanks a lot. Now you got him started.
(Widowmaker. Observer notices that Bobo is trying to steal the adapter and starts pulling it away.)
Megabyte: Indeed. At any rate, we thought it would be fun to do a tribute to the Cartoon Network by turning you into one of their shows.
Servo: (chanting to himself) Please say Dexter's Lab. . . Please say Dexter's Lab. . .
Crow: (also chanting to himself) Please not Cow and Chicken. . . Please not Cow and Chicken. . .
Bob: Hey, wait a nano! Isn't this already a crossover? I mean, wouldn't that be kinda dumb?
Pearl: (challengingly) Did I ask you? If I wanted your opinion I'd tear it outta you!
Megabyte: Actually, we're basing it on a late night talk show of theirs. . . (turning to Bobo) How did you describe that, Professor?
Bobo: Oh, it's my favorite show in the world! It's on every Friday night and they talk to these people and sometimes he blasts that bug guy and I laugh and laugh! (Bobo chuckles to himself just thinking about it)
Megabyte: Well put. (turning to the stranger) Mr. Pardo, tell them what they've won.
Don Pardo: (extreme game show announcer) You and your ship will be molecularly reconfigured into the cast and set of Space Ghost Coast to Coast, where you will be forced to re-enact situations related to that show. But that's not all! You'll also be receiving transmissions from not one, not two, but three special guests selected from the pool of infamous ReBoot fanfic authors! (applause track plays) Now back to you, Pearl.
Pearl: Thanks Ron. Brain Guy!
Pearl: Do it!
(Observer does that funky stuff)
(SOL. Everyone screams in panic. Suddenly, there's a loud POP.)
(Cut to a shot of outer space with lots of CG planets flying around. Cambot zooms chaotically through space to the tune of the instrumental theme at the end of MST3K: The Movie. There's a title cell:)
Gypsy: (voice-over) Welcome to Mystery ReBoot Theater Coast to Coast! Tonight, the musical stylings of Emidecimal, wacky satirist Silver Tiger, and buff bodybuilder Jerry the Cow! All this plus Andy Rooney.
(Cambot arrives at a CG model of the SOL. After circling a moment, he crashes through one end, zips past a row of theater seats, and starts going through the doors backwards)
Gypsy: And now, here he is, Guardian 452, Bob!
(Cambot turns around at the last minute and leaves the final door normally. The bridge of the SOL has been replaced by a CG environment, but basically looks the same. Bob stands in front of the desk, dressed in white spandex and wearing a black mask over half his face.)
Bob: Greetings, and welcome! I'm Bob! On the Wall of Keyboards, please say hello to Crow T. Robot!
(A separate shot of Crow. He's been painted green and jagged teeth have been cut into his beak. He and the wall of keyboards are in a cartoony environment of some kind.)
Crow: Cool. (Crow bangs himself randomly on the keyboards, producing a song that sounds like "Chopsticks")
Bob: And say hello to the producer, Mike Nelson!
(Mike is also in a cartoon environment. He's in a gray and red jumpsuit and wearing some sort of helmet. In front of him is a monitor showing Bob.)
Mike: (sounding like Darth Vader through the helmet) Umm, what? Hey, cool, I sound like Darth Vader! Luke, I am your father! (breathes heavily)
(A shot of Servo sitting behind a cartoon desk. He's wearing a mask that makes him look like he belongs in a totem pole.)
Servo: Wait a minute! What the heck am I supposed to be? I look like a Star Wars reject!
Bob: We've got quite a show coming up, so stay glued to your seats and don't you dare touch your computer, unless it's to scroll down or something like that. And go to the bathroom now, 'cause we're not stopping on the way. (A pause) Say, does this mean there's no story today?
(Widowmaker. Pearl and Megabyte are laughing. Bobo and Observer are battling ferociously over the lighter adapter)
Pearl: Much as you'd like that, we thought we'd give you a story too. It's called "Infestation", and it's so sappy. . .
All: How sappy is it?
Pearl: It's so sappy that Aunt Jemima and Log Cabin are still fighting over the rights to tap this sucker. Bring some wet naps; your hands will get sticky.
Don Pardo: Uh, hey, can I go now?
Pearl: Oh sure, you were wonderful.
(Don opens the door and leaves. Unfortunately, they weren't parked on a planet and he hurtles screaming through space. Everyone watches him as he goes.)
Pearl: (looking up) By the way, I owe BS'n'P a favor for getting me out of jury duty, so they're going to be on your back for this one. So no cussing, no dirty jokes, and keep the dismemberment to a minimum, okay? Thanks.
(SOL. Lights and sirens are going off.)
Bob: We've got movie sign! (He hurries off-stage. After a beat, he comes back in and addresses the camera.) We'll be right back!