(Bob's sitting there already. Mike and the bots file in moments later.)

Part 3

Crow: Drowzee.
Bob: So uh...you guys...notice anything odd during the break?
Mike: Not more than usual. Why?
Bob: Oh nothing. Say Tom-you're red, right?
Tom: What, are you colorblind? Of course I am.
Bob: Just checking.

The Battle

Mike: This is what really grips me-these thrilling chapter titles.

The Rebels, now ready to move out, were going through the plan of attack one final time.

Crow: (Dot) Now, we throw a few thousand defenseless rebel binomes as cannon fodder at the main gates, after which we head to the service enterance where Mouse will jiggle the back door lock with a paperclip and hope for the best.

They heard a noise and started. All eyes were on the door. It suddenly buckled then fell over with incredible speed,

Tom: Hey, little Enzo's back and sensed Bob through the door.

obviously the result of some brute strength.

Mike: Or maybe someone just got ahold of a forklift.

Everyone tensed and braced themselves for the worst.

Bob: Except for Mouse and Ray who were making out on the couch as soon as the first blow landed.

Two figures materialized out of the shadows.

Mike: Oh. It's just Hack and Slash.

Slowly, they walked forward, their feet echoing ominously on the cold stone floor.

Crow: (Dot) That echo's really annoying. I sort of wish we'd put in shag carpeting now.

They stepped into the dim light provided by a small oil lamp hanging from the ceiling.

Bob: Oil? It may be a rebel base but they still have *electricity*. I hope.

Bob gasped, then took a step forward.

Crow: (Bob, awed voice) Bruce Willis? I'm a HUGE fan!

"Turbo! Chroma! I... how... but..."

Tom: (Bob) You're not still mad about the failed Chem project are you?
Bob: Remind me never to tell you anything about my past life again.

Bob faltered, staring at the two Guardians in amazement.

Bob: How DO you two get that neat background music to come on like that?

"Bob! Thank the User, we found you!" Chroma said, hugging her former student.

Mike: (Chroma) Not sure why we'd bother to since the User is a sadistic being that preys on our cities, but it's religion. Whatever.

"Turbo and I have been talking about your little... Web... problem."

Tom: (Chroma) We KNOW you like the new look but...well...we've been receiving complaints from the fans.

It appeared that, for once in her life, Chroma was at a loss for words.

Crow: (Chroma) Do I tell him that we were too busy watching "The Price Is Right" re-runs to pull him out of the Web?

In an effort to hide it, she laughed, then returned to Turbo's side.

Bob: Quiet. I don't look that funny.

The big Guardian looked Bob in the eye. "Bob, your system has a problem." Bob gaped. "You think I didn't notice?"

Mike: We generally had enough faith to assume you did.

"No, no not the destruction, you now have yet another problem.

Tom: (Turbo) The user wants to switch over to a Unix. It's going to be hell transferring the files.

You have another virus to deal with." He pointed to his glowing icon.

Crow: (Turbo) Me. I upgraded.

"Daemon.

Crow: (Turbo) Her too.

I sense her presence. She's probably going to do something horrible.

Mike: Everyone was surprised when it turned out Daemon was simply in the neighborhood and had just come by to buy some batteries for her watch.

We have to act fast."
Hex spoke up, "Oh, so, you're that Prime Guardian I keep hearing about!

Tom: You know. The one Sky obsessed over.

You're quite a popular person around these parts."

Mike: (Hex) Well except when you tried to blow up Mainframe. We all pretty much hated your guts then.

Turbo took a step backwards. "Is that who I think it is?" He gave Hex an uneasy look.

Bob: Loritta Axil? Ha ha!
(Silence from the others)
Bob: See, there was this famous actress in the Net named named Loritta Axil who always liked to wear red.
Crow: Oh. I get it.
Mike: Yeah. That was pretty good taken in context. But uh, Bob?
Bob: Uh huh?
Mike: No one here's ever BEEN to the Net.
Bob: (sulking) I don't see why you get to make references and I don't...
Mike: We're not as vague as you are to the audience. Sometimes.
 

"Hexadecimal?" Hex beamed. Turbo gawked,

Bob: That was pretty much *my* reaction to the new outfit too.

then demanded an explanation.

Tom: No, don't go over the whole thing *again*, oh please oh please oh please...

Dot gave him one. Once she had finished,

Tom: Thank you.

Turbo turned pale.

Bob: -er.

"Bob," he said, "This has... never, ever, been done before!

Tom: (Turbo) Wait, wait...except for on Bill Nye the Science guy. Sorry.

Congratulations!"

Mike: Can I kiss the bride?

"Um... thank you?" Bob said, uncertain.

Bob: I mean, I just did something very illegal and totally untried before and for no apparent real reason other than the author wanted to give someone a makeover. But that's okay.

AndrAIa laughed then proceeded to explain the battle plan.

Crow: War gives her the giggles!

Chroma and Turbo exchanged grim looks during the entire re-telling. This was not good.

Bob: And now where could we have heard THAT before?

They could scarcely believe what was happening. They were about to go up against the most dangerous virus in the whole Net, maybe even the Web, and were aiming to survive?

Tom: Hey, just aim to die and you chances improve at least threefold.

Things did not look good. Not at all.

Mike: Except for the fact that when they bombed Mainframe as they attempted before, they'd be outside of it.

When AndrAIa had finished with her plan, she looked at Turbo expectantly, who blinked.

Tom: (Turbo) Huh? Sorry, wasn't paying attention. Could you repeat the whole thing?

"Well?" AndrAIa asked, when she got no answer.

Crow: (Turbo) Mah User...who taught *you* to fight, a Doom AI?

"Hmm... It sounds like a good plan to me.

Mike: Except for the part where we go for a lunch break midway.

It may not work, but it's the last chance we have.

Tom: For peace.
Crow: Apparently Tommy's hoping there're a lot of Babylon 5 fans out in the crowd tonight.
Tom: An imperfect reference, but true.

Chroma?" "I agree with Turbo. It's worth a shot. Battle is never a good thing, but when you get down to really thinking about it,

Bob: Looting can be profitable.

what other choices do you have?

Crow: Surrender.

No logical discussing with the enemy this time."

Mike: Yep, just throwing yourselves at their mercy.

Bob burst out laughing and looked at Dot. She looked amazed. "Well Dot," Bob said,

Crow: (Bob, evil voice) Looks like you and the others fell for my little plan!

"It appears that you have found your equal. Chroma is practically a clone of you... personality-wise."

Tom: Considering how flat both of them are, that's easy to imagine.

Dot playfully punched Bob in the shoulder.

Crow: Ignoring his 'oof!' of pain.

"Ok, Bob, whatever you say." She glanced at Chroma, who was watching this exchange.

Tom: (Chroma) So the sprites here beat up each other to show affection. Fascinating.

"Did anyone tell you two you'd make the cutest couple?"

All: No.

Bob sighed and explained that he and Dot were already together,

Bob: You know, the way we're hugging and all.

and Chroma just stepped backwards and stopped talking for a while. She wasn't used to this.

Crow: What, to people talking?
Bob: Yeah, a guardian's social life is usually pretty pathetic.

"Alright, people," Mouse piped up, "Enough with th' chit-chat, let's go take a battle to Megabayte!"

Mike: (Sentry) Hey guys, Megabyte just called and says that if you're not coming with your battle in 5 minutes, he's packing up his army and going home.

Everyone agreed and ran out of the base.

Crow: Briefly wishing they'd remembered they were on the third floor.

***
Daemon scoured the halls of the Principal Office looking for her pray.

Bob: Perhaps you've lost it behind your worship, or under your kneel.

She was not at all happy with her apprentice for this little job he had taken upon himself.

Crow: Still, elves will be elves.

She found herself to be smiling with the very thought of what he had
done.

Mike: So she's not happy with what he did, yet smiles when she thinks of what he's doing. Right, right.

A viral takeover of a system was normally a good thing in her mind, but not with this particular virus.

Bob: Why would she want a viral takeover in the first place? Hasn't she ever heard of 'competition'?
Tom: An apparent rule in this universe-the more powers a virus has, the stupider they are.

Megabyte had had a rather nasty history with her. There was a time when he had been just like all the other virals.

Tom: But then one day, little Megabyte started hanging around with the wrong crowd which shoplifted and smoked Pot.

He had been willing to follow her commands as the queen just like all his colleagues.

Bob: Until she started demanding him to do her laundry. She went too far on that one.

He was actually her favorite student.

Crow: Then one day, she caught him asking Mary for test answers...

So liked and honored that Daemon took it upon herself to personally train and guide this individual.

Bob: Rather stupidly since Megabyte has all the fidelity of a hyena.

Unfortunately, as a young virus, Megabyte was rebellious and as soon as she attempted to help him, he took action.

Mike: Don't tell us WHAT action he took now. Oh no. That would be giving us too much information there.

No matter how hard Daemon tried, she could not regain control of her student. She tried praise, pleas, guilt, and blackmail, but all of this was futile.

Crow: Now COOKIES, however...

It just made Megabyte get more egotistical and proud of himself.

Mike: What, that he ticked off his teachers? Whoo-hoo. Go virus.

How Daemon longed to see his bubble popped.

Tom: You know, I've been getting the feeling here that Daemon's designs on Megabyte are a bit less than wholesome.

But this was not to be. Megabyte ran away from the academy, never to return.

Bob: Except for the class reunion of 98'.

He was never a fully-fledged virus, never legally capable of viral takeovers or infections of any kind.

Bob: (coughing) Excuse me? Never fully-fledged...LEAGALLY capable...where did she dredge THIS up from?

But, he knew that the keyword was "legally"

Mike: It always is.

so he broke the law and took over a whole sector of Mainframe anyway.

Crow: Huh. Seemed to work. What's all this junk about legality?

He didn't care what Daemon would think, what she would do.

Tom: I mean, she's only the most powerful and feared virus in the Net right now but *that's* no reason to worry.

He just wanted to be feared and respected.

Mike: His career in the IRS fulfilled his every dream.

He got tired of owning a single sector, so, when he took over the whole city, his arrogance grew to an incredible level.

Bob: Although you'd need highly specialized equipment to tell the difference.
(The P.A .crackles to life)
Megabyte: (Voice over) All right, that's *it*. One more comment like that from you and you're going to find out just how painful infection can be for-hmm? Yes Ms. Forrester? Really? ...just a moment please. (He leaves the intercom but we still hear his voice in the background) What do you *mean* we can't do that-minor free will in the experiment? Well, yes I suppose making Bob and the robots into mindless worshippers would ruin it...(Gives a big sigh. Megabyte comes back to the P.A. sounding out of sorts and says shortly: ) Never mind. Continue.

Daemon smiled evilly with the thought of finally being rid of this menace.

Bob: (pushing his luck) And what a BIG threat he was. One lousy dying system versus the Supercomputer. Whoo.

He had caused her nothing but grief for as long as she could remember.

Mike: Not of the 'tack on chair' variety we assume.

When she would finally be happy, and could schedule her little plan.

Crow: Something just went wrong in that sentence there.

She poked her nose around a doorway and her eyes glowed with hatred.

Tom: Nah. For my money those are just lightbrites.

She had found her pray. It was payback time. She slowly edged towards the unsuspecting virus, claws gleaming...

Tom: New, from Sears-claw wax! Goes on smooth and smells like lemon.

***
The group of rebels had approached enemy territory and was preparing to attack. Bob tuned around to face his companions and started to talk in a harsh whisper.

Crow: (Bob) I hope someone brought the guns this time.

"All right," he hissed," you remember the plan.

All: We had a plan?

Let's split up and get this over with."

Mike: (Dot) I hate Easter egg hunts.

The group split into three and the excursion into the virus's lair commenced.

Tom: The 'ameboa' tactic of warfare.

Each group was advancing from a different side, each slowly advancing the exterior of the outer shield of the spherical Principal Office.

Crow: All this just to throw a surprise party.

Bob's group tiptoed its way to the back entrance. The Guardian turned around and said, "Hex, remember what you have to do.

Mike: (Hex) It involves blowing up things, right?

This is very dangerous. You do understand you may not get out of this alive, don't you?"

Crow: (Hexadecimal) What? Well no, *this* is news to me!

Hexadecimal nodded grimly. She looked down at her hands and sighed quietly.

Tom: (Hexadecimal) I miss my gloves.

She knew that the odds were against her, but

Tom: How could she resist a ticket for that 24 million jackpot?

she had to do her job. The group pressed on, Bob in front, Dot covering Bob, Hex looking out for the two in front, and Turbo bringing up the rear.

Mike: (singing) The ants go marching one by one, hurrah....hurrah...the ants go marching one by one...

"Here it is," Bob whispered, motioning to an air duct.

Tom: (Dot) Bob you idiot, we're supposed to be at the *door*.

He suddenly froze. Something wasn't right.

Mike: Checking, he realized that he'd just put on his pants backwards again.

"Bob, what is it?" Dot asked, instantly worried.

Bob: We're all going to get killed, aren't we? How did I overlook this?!

"I heard something. Wait..."

Crow: (Bob) It's the good humor man! All right!

A distant energy charge could be heard, then a loud scream. A scream that was distinctly viral...

Mike: Hex just saw herself in a real mirror for the first time since the new outfit went on.

distinctly Megabyte's scream.

Crow: Well SOMEONE'S just been introduced to the horror of daytime Fox programming.

"Do you suppose the others have managed to get in yet?" Chroma asked, puzzled. "I would doubt it," Bob said,

Bob: After all, they were worthless troops we shoved out for decoy to be slaughtered.

"Maybe Daemon reached him already."

Tom: Aw, and sounds like they're in love.

"All the better for us!" Hex exclaimed, without thinking.
"No, Hex!

Mike: (Bob) Now Megabyte and I can't exchange dramatic last speeches to each other!

If she got into the Principal Office, who knows what she could do? She obviously came here to get me, but it looks like she's found the jackpot," Bob said.

Mike: What's an all powerful 'supervirus' bothering with a city like Mainframe for anyhow?
Bob: All the main characters are there. Publicity.

***
Megabyte saw the shadow a nano too late.

Bob: What evil lurks in the hearts of viruses? The shadow knows! Well...him and the entire Guardian collective and Codemasters and...never mind.
Mike: You tried. That's what matters.

Razor-sharp claws ripped through his torso and chest.

Tom: Megabyte's committing hara-kiri? Sad way to go.

He screamed, but his cry was only to be cut short by a strangled gasp as his lifeless body fell to the ground with a metallic clang.

Crow: Kind of an anti-climatic death there.
Bob: So...that's it. No more Megabyte. If it'd only happen in real life then-no wait, Pearl would still send me movies. (Sighs)

Daemon roared her triumph and laughed maniacally as the clang echoed, then disappeared.

Tom: And what a wonderfully stable character we have here.

A terrified Phong cowered in the corner, but the super-virus
ignored him, and thrust him aside.

Bob: (Daemon) I'll listen to your vague advice and morals later.

There were more important matters to attend to.

Mike: She needed to find out if the place had cable.

Taking over Mainframe, maybe, but her main concern was the Guardian. She had to take him before it was too late.

Tom: Bob, why is it that every main female character in the series excepting AndrAIa wants to either date you or kill you? Heck, sometimes both.
Bob: Beats me. I've just decided to go with it.

***
The groups reunited inside the main hall and decided the only way to defeat Daemon would be to take her on by force.

Mike: ...that is the STUPIDEST cockamamie idea I have EVER heard! You know she's powerful, just killed Megabyte and took over the entire guardian collective and you decide to go in there and fight HAND TO HAND?
Bob: Apparently we did.
Mike: And from the way this's been going they're going to win, aren't they? This hurts.

All eyes turned towards Matrix. "What?" Matrix asked.

Tom: (AndrAIa, stage whisper) Matrix! Your Zipper! X-Y-Z!

"Matrix, please?" AndrAIa said, putting a hand on his massive left bicep. "Oh, alright. But I'm only doing this because Daemon is out to get me."

Tom: (Matrix) No wait, she only really wants Bob. Why don't we sacrifice him up to her?

He sighed, let out a triumphant war cry

Mike: (Matrix) Take that, door!

and ran into the door that led to Megabyte's chamber.

Tom: So he gives up every bit of advantage through stealth, doesn't even draw his GUN, and intends to wrestle it out with her successfully. Bob, did you teach him NOTHING?
Bob: Well I taught him how to act dramatically.

Success! The doors flew open and a surprised Daemon whirled around to face her foe.

Crow: (Daemon) What the-YOU'RE not the redecorator!

Matrix edged closer to Daemon as Hexadecimal came up behind him and forced a bolt of red energy at the super virus.

Bob: But being behind him, right through Matrix.

"Why Hexadecimal! Dare you try to inflict damage on your queen?

Mike: (Hexadecimal) No of course not. This is how I greet everyone.

You will pay for this insolence!" "Not today, Daemon!" Hex screamed

Tom: (Hex) I'm too overdrawn at the bank. Is next week okay?

as she lunged towards her prey, firing a bolt of white-hot energy at the same time. Daemon, not expecting this,

Mike: So she's not only cliched, she's stupid.

screamed in agony as her metal skin melted under the extreme heat. Hex panted and fired another bolt of sizzling hot energy at the wounded virus.

Bob: (Hex) Yes! I DID get to blow up things! I am so *good* at this!

Daemon screamed again as pain shot through her body. She was
being destroyed by one of her own kind!

Tom: Your kind or a different one, you'll still be DEAD.
Crow: Yeah and if a sprite were there she'd be upset that she was being beaten by an 'inferior' creature so it's really all the same.

She was not going to let this happen!!

Bob: Ha. The power of the plot is too strong. Give in.

The super virus gave a yell of fury as she plunged towards Hexadecimal, energy forming at her fingertips.

Mike: Someone needs to be checked for rabies.

Two screams collided as AndrAIa's trident went flying
through the air and embedded itself into Daemon's mid-section

Crow: You know, I didn't expect such a life threatening virus to be taken down so *easily*. Why didn't they just sic Frisket on her, that'd have nearly the same effect.

while Hexadecimal was deleted instantly from the blast of energy dealt to her by the virus queen.

Tom: What? Oh sure, take her in, fix her up, make her one of your own and smile sweetly at her and then use her for CANNON fodder! Ha! Fun! You JERKS!
Mike: Uh...you're coming on a bit strongly about the same person who forced us to read "Day of the Decimal" Servo.
Tom: You're right. But she was so happy and...then...it was just like seeing a puppy or kitten die! (sobs once)
Crow: She'll be fine. She'll be brought back in the end when the User Reboots, remember?
Bob: He's right. I mean, there's no way she's going to miss out on that ending.
Tom: Thanks guys.

The super virus flickered with an overcharge of energy and then faded out of existence into the blackness of deletion.

Mike: (Daemon's Programmer) Damn. Oh well, I'll just get out one of the 50 back-up copies I made of her.
Crow: So...why'd they need Matrix there again?
Bob: As a decoy, I guess.
Crow: Ah.

Part 4
Automatic Restart

Mike: See Tommy? What'd we tell you.
Tom: (Little Street Urchin Voice) You-you really think so mister?

Phong was still lying in a heap where Daemon had so roughly discarded him.

Crow: (Phong) My children, I'm down here. Would you all stop stepping on me?

Bob went over to him and quickly removed his viral contamination.

Bob: Now even I'm ashamed of that point contrivance.

The old sprite looked disorientated,

Mike: Being hurled across a room tends to do that to you.

but was quick to figure out what had happened to him.

Crow: It doesn't do THAT however.

The system was looking bleak, despite the fact that the virals were gone.

Bob: Yeah. Now they're all bored.

Things worsened as the sky turned violet and the dreaded computer voice announced the system's fate.

Tom: (Voice) Downloading Half-Life. Time main energy is sapped-50 hours.

"WARNING, INCOMING GAME"

Bob: Geez, the User just can't get enough of 'The Curse of Monkey Island'.

"No. This can't be happening," Matrix muttered. "It's impossible!

Mike: (Matrix) This is inconceivable! After all, it's never happened before except for those few hundred dozen times in the past.

I've got to get to that game!" Bob steadied him with a firm hand on his shoulder. "Matrix, no," he said simply.

Crow: (Bob) Let's let them all die this time.

"What?"

Crow: (Bob) Look at it this way, there'll be less people to save and we still get paid full salary.

"If the game crashes the system, it will force an automatic restart.

Tom: Unless of course the User decides to shut off the computer and do something else instead.

Listen! You have to stay behind!"

Bob: And in the meantime AndrAIa has already entered the cube and started beating the User.

As soon as Bob had uttered those words, the game hit bottom with a dull crash.

Bob: Well, we're dead. Who wants to go get drunk before we're offlined?

Microseconds of painful silence followed,

Tom: Isn't there *anything* we can talk about now that we've beaten our lifelong enemies?

and the group was too scared to speak.
"GAME OVER, USER WINS"

Tom: (User) My God, I *won* something. I won! Finally!

Buildings toppled over, off their supports and the sky darkened to an ugly shade of dark brown.

Mike: Mmm, chocolate covered sky!

"It's not working! It's not gonna work!" AndrAIa said.

Crow: (AndrAIa) We're gonna die! Auuugh! Now I regret wasting all my life following someone else around!

Suddenly a loud hum sounded and the normal sounds of a system starting up were heard. A gold replica of Mainframe came down from the sky and the city was restored to its original state. Cheers and shouts of joy came from each and every Mainframer as the deleted binomes were re-compiled and everything returned to normal.

Bob: One of the most *beautifully* rendered scenes and she summarized it *blandly* in three sentences.
Mike: Steady on guys. We must be almost there.

***

Tom: Looks like the last bit...fly free little stars!

******

Crow: Yeah I'd better release mine.
Bob: Me too.

**********

Tom: Now isn't that pretty?
Mike: Whatever. That whole thing was just *weird*.

"Well, that's that," Dot said lazily as she lay on a shady patch of grass in Floating Point Park.

Bob: (System voice) Warning...incoming game...

She smiles at Bob who was lying beside her.

Crow: (Dot) Now we'll get to the nauseatingly sweet part where one of us proposes.

"I think we've seen more than our fair share of viruses to last us decades!" Bob joked.

Tom: But...but what happened to Hexadecimal?

Dot laughed, then sighed happily.

Tom: Stop it! Where's Hexadecimal? She became good! It's the LAW that you have to bring her back in a story like this!
Mike: The author probably just forgot...
Tom: (Wavering voice) You guys LIED to me!
Crow: Knock it off Servo! Either the author overlooked bringing Hex back or she wanted to take her out because she's planning to write a sequel and Hex was an inconvenient character to keep in...(trails off suddenly while the ensuing silence takes on an air of dread.)
Bob: (softly) Wait...Tom got the conversion so he would have been the one who'd be deleted...whew. Glad I DID switch back.
Mike: Pardon Bob?
Bob: Nothing, nothing.

She looked up at the darkening sky as the sun began to set and got up hesitantly. "Well, I'd better be off. I have work to do."

Bob: I left Phong in charge. Hope that bump on the head didn't mess him up too much.

Bob stood also and muttered, "Same old Dot. Why don't you just stay a little longer?" He grinned devilishly.

Mike: I never though I'd say this but thank heaven for PG ratings.

"And why, may I ask?"
Bob took Dot's hand and knelt before her.

(Tom starts humming the Wedding March)

"Dot," he said, smiling, "I've loved you for as long as I can remember.

Crow: (Dot) Wait, didn't you say most of you memory was wiped out in the Web?

You've been a great friend and are an amazing person. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Mike: I'm running out of things to say here...
Tom: Let's just pretend we're still being witty now. Good one Nelson!

Dot, will you marry me?"

Crow: (Dot) Uhm Bob, I've been meaning to tell you I wanted to be just friends.

Dot was awestruck. She smiled as tears of joy streamed down her cheeks.

Mike: Actually those were just tears.

"Good enough reason," she laughed, "Yes, Bob. I'll marry you."

Tom: (Dot) Provided I can still see other men.

She paused, then joked, "Whatever took you so long to ask?"
Bob laughed and hugged Dot. "Oh, you know... jitters?"

Bob: Yes, and the conclusion to the scene we all saw coming a million miles away!
Tom: Slightly more converted to kilometers in Canada.

The couple kissed and walked out of Floating Point Park and into the sunset.

Mike: Aww. How sweet. I keep on expecting a horse and someone yelling "Hi ho Silver-away!" to show up.

(Bob starts flipping frantically through the book again.)

THE END

Tom: Bob will you put that thing down? It's over already.
Bob: (Mumbling to himself as he walks out) Oh the Lone Ranger, I get it...

(Exit sequence)

Bob: Well...it wasn't too bad that time.
Tom: True. But only in comparison, because somehow every fic we get is painful in its own unique way. Yes compared to say, the works of Francis Coleman or Roger Corman it's merely mediocre. But after every week when the pain's worn off we're subjected to a new, sharp dose of agony.
Mike: So in other words, once you're in there it's all pretty damned bad?
Tom: That about sums it up my friend.
Mike: Truly profound. (Baps the MAD button)

(Widowmaker)

Pearl: Glad, oh so glad you're learning to appreciate the subtler annoying points of mediocrity fellows.
Megabyte: Mainly because yes Crow, there IS a sequel. Astute of you to figure it out.

(SOL)

Mike: What?!

(Widowmaker)

Megabyte: (raising an eyebrow) Oh yes, it exists. And, as you put it 'after the pain wore off' so the agony is just as fresh as ever. Marvelous system we have here, don't we?

Tom: Oh dear universe-NO!
Bob: We only got through the *first* one?!

(Widowmaker)

Megabyte: (leaning his head against his hand, gazing at the panic) You know, they're right. Some of the best things in life ARE free.
Pearl: (Also putting her head in her hands) Yeah.

(We close with a shot of the Mads blissfully watching the various sounds of disappointment on the SOL.)