(The guys file in. Mike hesitates in front of his seat for a moment.)

Tom: Oh don't be such a baby! He didn't do anything to it!
Mike: (as everyone sits) Well. . .

"Well, what do we do now," Oz yawned.
"Well, I for one would kill for some sleep!!" Buffy exclaimed.

Mike: You almost did.

"You needn't do that!" Dot smiled.

Crow: (Buffy) But I want to.

She put in a call for beds from the imfirmery.
"Great; thanks!"
"You're welcome," Dot smiled.

Bob: At least they're not going with the "split them up and bunk them with the original cast" option.

"We should also post some guards," Jo Ann suggested.
"Don't bother; I'm a light sleeper!" Buffy smiled.

Tom: She must be getting some sort of endorsement from a toothpaste company for grinning like this all the time.

"It's routine," Bob said. "Ever since we found out that Dot and Jo were preganent,

Crow: (Dot) We've had to keep Bob and Wildcard locked gibbering in the basement.

we've kept a constant guard on them, for fear the virals would attack."

Crow: (Bob) That and the security force has been just plain bored lately.

"Ah...keep the guards with them, then," Buffy smiled.

Tom: (Buffy) I'll slay my own way. Heh heh-get it? `Slay?'
Mike: (Weary) Very good Tom.

"That usually means Wild Card with me, and Bob with Dot," Jo Ann smiled.

Tom: Oh for-don't mention that in front of the kids!
Crow: You know Servo, YOU'RE really the one who says those type of things more than I do. How come I'm the one pictured as the pervert?
Mike: Tom just seems much more...innocent.

[Don't forget me!] Logo pipped up.
{Nor I} added Pixel.
Dot and Jo Ann shared a smile.

Bob: (Dot) Jo, You hear the voices too?

"What was that!" Drak exclaimed.
Buffy leapt up, "What?!"

Crow: She been getting enough rest lately?

"Didn't you hear some beeping noises?" Drak asked.

Mike: (Xander) Whoops. Sorry that's just my "Captain Crunch" watch.

"No, I didn't!" The Slayer pulled her stake and circled around the room.

Tom: In this story they have Buffy painted as an uber-paranoid giggling psychopath who seems on a caffeine buzz and really, really eager or willing to kill someone.
Mike: Can you say "Character Assassination" kiddies? Good, I knew you could.

{Calm down, dear!} Pixel exclaimed.

Crow: (Buffy) AHH! Voices! Voices are back! Must kill!
Tom: (Xander) Damn, not again.

"There," said Drak. "Didn't you hear it, then?"
"Yes!!" Buffy hissed. "What was it?!"

Tom: (Phong) Mass hallucinations! We haven't quite removed all the asbestos from the building yet.

"Our keytools," Jo Ann smiled.

Tom: (Buffy) Ah-ha! Evil!
Bob: Massive carnage follows for the next fifteen minutes. Only a sobbing Enzo, Willow and dazed Phong are left to tell the tale.
Crow: We're just evil today, aren't we?
Bob: It's the fic.

She showed them the gold and jeweled device at her left wrist.

Bob: Oh, a fake. You can get them for a buck-fifty in a drugstore.

Wild Card showed them Logo, and Matrix showed them Packard.
Buffy narrowed her eyes, "Bleepy watches?"

Bob: (Looking forlornly at his left wrist) I miss MY `bleepy watch'.

"Keytools are special tools that Guardians earn to help them do their job.

Mike: (Jo) They mow your lawn, do the dishes, dust the counters...they're great!

It's the keytool that selects their Guardian. And very few are choosen," Matrix explained.

Crow: (Matrix) The deposit fee's a thousand something credits.

"Oooohhh kay..." Buffy shrugged.
"Where's yours?" Oz asked Bob.

Mike: (Bob) I needed the cash back.

"That's kind of a long story; but Glitch and I kind of merged..."
"Merged?" Buffy asked.
"Our programs fused together..."

Crow: Please, again remember that little Enzo's there!

"It's...inside...you...?" Willow asked. She stepped closer to Bob, as if she could pick out Glitch from just looking at Bob.

Tom: (Willow) Shiny.

Bob smiled, "Kind of..."
"'Kind of'?" Willow asked.
"Our programs are melded; he's not physically inside of me, but..."

Bob: I got this funky silver armor anyhow.

"But his 'soul', as it were, is part of you?" the red-haired girl asked.

Tom: I don't care what's part of who, the whole thing still sounds icky to me.

"Yeah," Bob smiled.
"Wow!" Willow grinned.
"Yay, cool...this means what?" Cordelia asked.

Tom: Say what you will but I'm going to enjoy Cordy bitching for once.
Bob: Why?
Tom: No more smiles.

"What do you mean?" Andri asked.
"What importance is it that blue boy and his wrist-watch are one being?" Cordy asked.

Bob: I think there's some rule in season 3 that you had to have a wardrobe change. That's about it.

"And there she goes again; opening her mouth before her brain is engaged..."

Mike: Ah, how this story needs this.

"He's a lot more powerful, this way," little Enzo smiled.

Tom: Well she stopped them smiling for six sentences.

"A lot more powerful."

Crow: (Cordellia) So if this is MORE powerful that means Bob was really, really sucky before, right?

Bob smiled at them. Little Enzo seemed to be waiting for the information to sink in.
"Wait a second: How powerful are you?" Buffy asked.

Mike: Faster than a speeding bike!
Crow: More powerful than a reasonably small locomotive!
Tom: Able to leap semi-tall Capacitowers in a single bound!

"Let's see," Matrix smiled. "He stablized a tear into a portal;

Bob: Aw, it was nothing.

he protected the pirate ship from the ravages of the Web as we were going into the portal;

Bob: Stroke of luck really.

he shielded me from missles, thus saving my bitmap;

Bob: You had it coming but I saved you butt, yeah.

he teleported us the the Rebel hideout;

Bob: Just doing my job.

he healed Hexadecimal, a former virus and now friend;

Bob: True, true...
Tom: Will you quit it?

"I don't understand half of that; but I take it to mean he can kick some major butt, huh?" Buffy smiled.

Mike: (Bob) A fair amount, yes.


Bob: You be the can?
Crow: You be the can! I was the can last time!


Crow: (Enzo) ExceptI'mgoingtolearntousespacesfirst!


Tom: Okaywewill!

little Enzo exclaimed.
Buffy blinked, "No sugar for that kid!

Bob: That's what he's like when he's OFF sugar. He never gets any. We've always been too afraid of what would happen if he did.

Can anyone translate?"
Matrix laughed, and did so.
"Uummm...okay. Good for you, kiddo!"

Mike: (Buffy) Not that I care really, I'm just making conversation. So. When can we kill something?

"I used to be like that," Matrix smiled.

Tom: (Matrix) Now I'm supposed to be toughened from the games but for some damn reason I can't stop grinning.

"Yes, you were," Bob smiled back.
"You guys are going through this again?!"

Crow: (Dot) Welcome to our hell.

"Through what?" Buffy asked.
"Matrix here is Enzo;" Xander explained.

Mike: (Matrix) Oh yeah, fan boy knows.

"They've gone through the bringing up the hyperactive little brother thing twice now. Well, Dot has."

Bob: (Xander) I feel for her.

"How can they both be the same person?" Buffy asked.

Tom: (Giles) Cordellia, Oz and I will just move into the background as unimportant characters again then, shall we?

"Now that's complicated..." Dot smiled.
"Well, Cecil hasn't delivered our shakes yet. How about telling us?" Buffy asked.

Tom: (Dot) Sure. Neat coincidence that I have the time since Cecil's late even though I'm his boss and could fire his ass.

Dot took a deep breath and tried to explain in as simple terms as possible.

Bob: (Dot) You see, when the User restarted our system-
Mike: (Giles) Ah-`system'?
Tom: (Cordelia) What's she talking about, there's two of them right? End of story.
Crow: (Xander) Boring. I saw this already. Can we get the TV back? He was funny.
Bob: (Dot) Sigh...

Buffy and the others listened closely...

Crow: (Oz) Whoa. I'd be overwhelmed but I don't think I'm capable of showing that much emotion.
Tom: (Giles) So what are icons, once more?
Mike: (Buffy) I REALLY want to get a stake into something now.
Bob: (Dot) Shut up!

"Okay; I think I understand," Angel smiled.
"You...forgot...to...change...your...icon...back...to...normal...?" Buffy asked Matrix, grinning.

Crow: (Buffy) Moron.

Matrix nodded, "So we got another Enzo!"

Bob: (Buffy) Well, take the good with the bad I guess.

"Talk about your second childhood!" Drak grinned.
Matrix chuckled at that.

Crow: Then again, he's chuckling at everything in here.

"Does he do the tackle-thing a lot?" Willow asked Bob.
Bob nodded, "Oh boy, does he!!"

Bob: I recommend just flinging yourself out of the way if you hear running feet.

"Did you do that, too?" Buffy asked Matrix.
Matrix nodded sheepishly.

Crow: (Buffy) What, really? And you're this big? How many PEOPLE have you killed?

"You say the 'alphanumeric' thing, too?"
"Yeah..." he nodded.
"Anything else about you two we should know?" Oz asked.

Tom: (Enzo) I have a yo-yo...
Crow: (Matrix) Look, just shut up!

"Basically anything you see little Enzo do, Matrix probably did once," AndrAIa smiled.
"Is Andri like you?" Buffy asked.

Bob: Not that we've gotten any description of her whatsoever so far.

"Very!" She smiled.
"When did you get Andri?" Xander asked.

Tom: So all the kids have been resurrected. What next, puppy Frisket?

"I don't remember her from the show."
"Jo Ann got me from the game!" Andri smiled.
"The 'Treasure of Atlantis' game?" Xander asked, wide-eyed.

Bob: (AndrAIa) There's this shop there that does these replicas of yourself and what with Matrix already having one, I couldn't resist.

"Yeah!" she smiled.
"How'd she do?" Drak asked, looking over at Jo Ann.
"She was incredible!" Andri grinned.

Tom: With a KID? Oh this is just sick!
Mike: Crow!
Crow: What? Hey!
Mike: Uh, sorry. Servo!

"Thank you, thank you," Jo Ann grinned and bowed from her seat.
Buffy laughed.

Tom: We sighed.

Jo Ann caught at her stomach. "Oops!

Crow: (Buffy) She's in pain! Hee!

I shouldn't have tried the bowing!"
Wild Card's protective arms were around her in an instant.

Mike: (Wild Card) I'll save you from your stomach cramps, my dear!

"I'll be alright, love," she smiled. "Just make sure I don't bend over too much. I don't think the little one likes it when I do that."

Crow: (Baby) Will you twerps keep it down out there? I'm trying to develop!

WIld Card smiled gently at her, "Go easy..."
"I will," she smiled back.

Mike: (Wildcard) We agree!

She kissed him softly on the lips, and leaned against his shoulder.
Buffy smiled at the couple, squeezing Angel's hand.

Tom: Servo wished a nuclear bomb would fall on them.
Mike: Now that's a bit harsh.
Tom: Grenade?
Mike: That's fine.

Suddenly, a vid-window openned. Cecil had their shakes ready.
Dot recieved the shakes, "Put it on the PO tab!!" She grinned.

Crow: (Phong) Oh please, no, you already charged up those pool tables and big screen TV's to here...

"Very good, mad'am," Cecil responded. "Will that be all?"
"Yes; thank-you, Cecil!" Dot smiled.

Crow: (Cecil) Madam, you've been grinning quite a bit lately.

"As you wish." Cecil closed the vid-window.
Dot smiled and handed around the shakes.
"Mmmmm...This is good!" Drak said as he sipped his.
"Better then blood, right!" Angel joked.

Crow: (Angel) Well not really. In fact, I could really go for some right now...pumping hot and juicy in your veins-oh God sorry. That always happens.

"Angel! You know I don't drink blood!" Drak countered.

Mike: (Angel) I do?

"What, never?" Buffy asked.
"Course not. I am half human. Because of that, I don't crave blood.

Mike: That makes...sense...(stops, puzzled)
Tom: No it doesn't.

I eat and drink whatever humans eat and drink.

Crow: SOME humans drink blood.

Angel didn't tell you that he wasn't the only vampire with a soul?" Drak grinned.

Tom: (Buffy) I think he mentioned something about it when we were clearing out a nest of plague-demons.

Buffy smiled at him, "I thought you would crave blood; I mean even Heaven and Angel crave blood..."

Mike: `Heaven?'
Tom: Warning! Warning! Other Buffy fic mention sensed! Do not go there! Danger Mike Robinson! Danger!
Mike: I get the point.

"No...my human soul keeps me from craving --or needing-- blood.

Mike: (Drak) But get me in front of a tub of ice cream and watch out.

But cousin, how do you keep yourself alive without killing people?

Crow: (Angel) Mail order corpses. They work wonders.

I've always wondered about that?"

Tom: Have you? Well? Don't leave it dangling with a question mark.

Angel half-smiled, "It's hard; but I get my blood from blood-banks; butchers..."

Bob: Lawyers...

"Ah...do they know why you want the blood, or do they even know that you get the blood?"
"They think I'm a biology major..."

Crow: So Mr. Angel! Another 500 liters of cow blood for the biology project you've been working on for the past 5 years?
Tom: (Angel) If you would.

"Okay...better then telling them that you are a vampire with a soul who doesn't want to kill for his...um...hunger needs, huh?"

Mike: (Angel) `Course if you say it sarcastically enough they laugh and throw in another quart of blood.

"Can we please change the subject?" Buffy asked.

Mike: (Buffy) All this non-vampire killing talk is making me nervous.

"Right. I think our sprite friends are getting a bit nausious," Drak smiled at Bob and the others, who looked a little sick.

Crow: (Bob) When are we going to learn NOT to invite everyone we meet into the Principal Office like this?

Dot nodded, "A little..."

Tom: (Dot) Pardon me while I'm violently ill.

"Sorry. I guess we shouldn't we talking about vampire eating habits," Drak said.

Mike: (Dot) Too bad you couldn't have realized that a few minutes ago.

"Actuahly, Ah fahnd it fascinatin', sugah..." Mouse grinned

Tom: (Mouse) But then again I'm evil.


Tom: Ooh. See?

"Mouse, please!" Jo Ann pleaded. "Remember: I've got iron defecincy anemia!"

Bob: Uh...and that's relevant because?

"Sorry suagha...!"
"You're anemic?" Drak asked Jo Ann. She nodded.

Mike: (Drak) Damn. Uh, I mean-good thing I don't drink blood because you'd be a poor victim! Ha ha! No wait, that didn't come out too right either.

"Oh..." Buffy frowned.

Crow: She also realizes that that IS a kind of funny thing to throw in a fic.

"It's not too bad," Jo Ann said. "And I do take iron supplements every day."
"That would help, I suppose," Giles smiled.

Mike: (Giles) Since you're iron deficient. Yes, stating the obvious is what Watchers do best.

"Yes, it does," Jo Ann smiled. She leaned wearily against Wild Card.
Wild Card pulled her into an embrace; gently.

Crow: Harder! Make her squirm!

Jo laid her head on his shoulder.
He stroked her hair lovingly.
She smiled and kissed him, then nuzzled his neck, one of their favorite gestures of love.

Mike: Funny...watching them do that's not one of OURS.

Buffy smiled at them, noting the irony that the last time Angel had tried to kiss her neck she'd had a slayer fit.

Tom: In fact, Angel still had the scars.

"My sweet hunter," Jo Ann smiled at him.
"Love ya..."
"I know," she whispered.
He stroked her face gently.

Mike: Now pat your head too.

She rubbed her stomach and sighed.

Crow: (Jo) Damnit, I thought ONE of us was taking the pill.

"Soon, love," he smiled, reading her thoughts.
"I hope so," she replied.
He hugged her.

Tom: (Monotone) And we all care about this so much.
Crow: Then they kissed and she hugged him and she rubbed her stomach and they kissed.

Isis smiled and turned to Drak. She leaned over and kissed him.
Buffy watched the couples and squeezed Angel's hand. "I love you," she whispered.

Bob: (Angel) That's nice honey-hey, stop staring at Drak!

"And I love you," Angel whispered back.
She touched his face and kissed his hand.

Crow: You know, I bet little Enzo is gagging his lungs out right now.

Drak smiled at his cousin, wishing that Angel could take more pleasure in his love.

Tom: Could you BLAME him?

"I wish that could be us some day," Buffy whispered, inclining her head to Wild Card and Jo Ann.

Crow: (Buffy) Except less sappy.

"Maybe someday, it will," Angel smiled at her.

Tom: (Angel) Waitasecond-you want a kid?!

"I hope so..." Buffy decided not to rain on the parade and mention the unfortunate consequences of the first --and last-- time she and Angel had made love.

Mike: Fortunately, Buffy had found a good and caring set of adoptive parents.

Bob smiled at his brother and sister-in-law. He smiled and kissed Dot. "I love you," he said.
"Copy and paste that, 452..." she grinned.

Crow: Gee, doesn't this just want to make you all sigh and marvel at the wonders of love?
Others: No.
Crow: Good.

Matrix grinned. Despite the crisis, love was in the air, and even the danger that the virals represented could not destroy the mood.

Tom: Unfortunately.

He kissed AndrAIa.

Crow: Mike, why do humans and sprites have an overwhelming compulsion to exchange saliva fluids like this? I mean is it addictive? Do you get a buzz off of it? Does it leave you with a refreshing minty-green flavor in your mouth? And why so blatantly in public...do you all have no shame?
Mike: Well Crow, being trapped up here for years really hasn't given me the social insights I'd need to answer those questions.
Crow: Oh.
Mike: I think they're just over portraying `love' here though.

AndrAIa grinned girlishly, "What was that for, Sparky?"
"Because I love you," he said.

Bob: (AndrAIa) This still isn't getting you out of getting me an anniversary gift.
Mike: (Matrix) D'oh!

"EWWWWW!!!! MUSH!!!" little Enzo moaned.

Crow: (Enzo) And with a GIRL! EEEWWW!

"Shaddup, kiddo!" AndrAIa gently kicked little Enzo,

Mike: (Enzo) Ow! You hit my spindly little arms! I'm telling!

kissing Matrix back.
"Enzo...It's romantic!" Andri grinned.

Tom: (Andri) I'm the same age as you but I'm a girl so I think it's cute.


Crow: Or maybe Little Enzo's just immature.

the little sprite sighed. "That hurt, AndrAIa!!"

Tom: (Lusiphur) Pain is the only physical evidence of our existence. Quit whining.

"Sorry, Enzo," AndrAIa apologized.
"He's just moaning!" Andri grinned.

Bob: (Andri) It's fun to belittle pain, isn't it?

"You would moan, too, if someone had just kicked you!"

Mike: So he's a poet.

little Enzo frowned.
"Shhh!" Andri told him, kissing his cheek.


"That's so cute!" Willow grinned, watching the two child sprites.
Buffy giggled, "Isn't it!"

Crow: How can I reply negatively enough here? NO!

Jo Ann yawned and closed her eyes, leaning on Wild Card's shoulder.

Mike: (Jo Ann) All this smirking has made me sleepy.

The bounty-hunter scooped her up into his arms, "Someone's tired..."
"Very...tired...love..." Jo Ann whispered in her sleep.
"G'night folks!" Wild Card smiled, carrying her out.

Tom: Smashing Jo's head on the doorway on their way out.

"Good night, Wild Card," Bob smiled. The others said their good nights, as well.

Tom: (Falsetto) Good night snookums.
Crow: (Ditto) Good night honey-num.
Mike: (Same) Good night wizzy-wuzzy-wips.
Bob: Good ni-WUZZY wips?!
Mike: Well my girlfriend used to call me-never mind.

Buffy yawned, "I think I'll hit the sack ,too!"

Crow: (Willow) But not literally, right?

"Yes," said Dot. "We should all go to bed. We have more planning to do tomorrow."

Tom: (Angel) We planned?

"What about the vamps?" little Enzo asked. "Won't they try to break in?"

Bob: You've lived with them around for months and you just asked that now?

"Vampires can't come in unless invited," Buffy smiled.
"And we've never invited them in," Andri smiled back.
"Like we would!" little Enzo added.

Crow: (Matrix) I would.

"Then they can't come in. Except..." Buffy bit her lip thoughtfully.
"'Except', what?" Matrix asked.
"Dash...is she a vampire?"

Tom: (Bob) Oh damn.

"No...not that we know of, anyway," Dot answered.
"Technically, she's you, Dot; right?"

Crow: No, technically she's a clone.
Bob: But she'd have the same voice-recognition patterns.
Crow: Oh. Well then they're boned.

Buffy frowned, "She could invite then in..."

Mike: Of course, you could always put in some security and not let her in.

"Oh, spam!" AndrAIa breathed. "What do we do now?"

Bob: How about leaving the shield up?

"Garlic around the windows?" Willow suggested.

Bob: You could also put the Principal Office shields up.

"Yes, that would help," Buffy said. "Do you have some garlic handy?"

Bob: Hey, how about those wacky shields?

"We have some at the diner!" Dot smiled.
"Great!" Buffy grinned. "Call up Cecil and order a large batch!"

Bob: Fine. It's just my pregnant wife and unborn child in danger here. No shields then.

Dot obliged her; and got a strange look from Cecil for her trouble.

Mike: (Cecil) If the night tips weren't so good in this job, I'd quit.

"Is there anything else we can do?" Bob asked Buffy.

Bob: (Buffy) Say, don't you have some sort of shield that goes around this building?

"Crosses; we all have to wear crosses..." she sighed.
"Where do we find those?" Ray asked.

Tom: Okay, you take two sticks of wood and hold then up like this...

Buffy shrugged; "I don't know your area; do I?"

Mike: (Ray) Ew, I hope not!

"Phong, surely you would know where to find some crosses," Willow said.

Crow: (Willow) I mean, you're the token spiritual guy of the bunch, right?

"We could make some, my child.."

Tom: (Phong) I have a bunch of Popsicle sticks in my drawer.

"What should the crosses be made from?" Matrix asked.

Bob: Lemurs.

"Wood!" Buffy grinned. "Give 'em an end like a stake, too.."
"I bet Old Man Pearson has some wood at the Data Dump we could use!" little Enzo suggested.

Crow: Brilliant. If the crosses don't drive them away the stench will.

Dot opened a vidwindow and enquired.

Tom: (Old Man Pearson) Last time it was empty beer cans. What is it NOW?

"Wood, lass?" the old binome asked.

Bob: (Pearson) Yer' just a mighty strange one now aren't ye?

"Aye, I have plenty. But why would ye be needin' wood, might I ask?"

Crow: You don't want to know. Oh God, you don't want to know.

"Vampire hunting!" Dot grinned at him.
"'Vampire huntin'!

Mike: (Pearson) Ye mean like on that `Buffy' show?

Where are these 'vampires', lass?"
"The new viruses; Chimera and Pixil are vampires; we have another User here to help us."

Tom: (Pearson) What, another? There go the property taxes through the roof again.

"Another User! And who might that be?"
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer," Dot grinned.
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer! That be a new one!

Tom: (Pearson) If dorky.

Alright, lass. I'll send ye the wood ye need."

Crow: He immediately starts scrounging around for fake fireplace logs figuring they're just as good as the real thing.

"Its true! What's so unbelieveable?" Buffy stuck her head over Dot's shoulder.

Mike: (Dot) It DOES sound pretty dumb.

"Are ye the 'Buffy', Dot just told me about, lass?" Mr. Pearson asked, peering at the blond girl.

Bob: (Buffy) Call me Buff, please.

"Yeah!" Buffy smiled.
"Well, lass, I didna say I didna beleive ye.
The whole thing just has me rattled, that's all."

Tom: (Pearson) Plus the way ye keep smilin' all the time is enough to set me on edge.

Mr. Pearson openned a large window. "If ye could send the big Matrix lad to come and git the wood, I'd be very gratefull.

Crow: (Pearson) Plus I need him ta' haul a couple of cars out of the way too, if ye' don't mind.

This old binome isn't as young as he used to be."

Tom: Didn't he used to have an all-powerful Gibson Coil whatsit?
Bob: Pike. Yeah but he gave it up. Claimed it gave his back arthritis.

"Are you sure you're gonna be safe?" Buffy asked, smiling.
"Well, if ye make one of them crosses for me, I think I'll be safe," he smiled back at her.

Crow: (Pearson) Even though I DID used to be a dangerous Codemaster and could easily whup' yer bottoms in less than three nanoseconds if I stuck my Pike back together.

"Okay, then! And don't invite anyone in!"

Mike: They later regret telling him this when Matrix comes over.

"Nay, lass. I'll not invite those beasties in!"

Tom: Especially Dinobot. He's a grouch.

"Just be careful!"
"Don't worry about this old binome. I've seen tougher things then those virues!"

Crow: (Enzo) Like what?
Tom: (Pearson) I...there was...just take my word for it!

"Okay!" Buffy smiled.
Bob smiled to himself. Few people knew it, but there was more to Old Man Pearson then met the eye. The old binome was a Code Master!

Mike: Was. Past tense.

Dot closed the vidwindow, and Bob opened the portal to let Matrix fetch some wood.
"Will that old man be alright?" Buffy asked.

Bob: I don't think vampires are that desperate for blood.

"He's a tough old binome. If he felt threatened, he'd never let you know it. And you'd never get him to leave the dump, either.

Tom: He's so self-conscious about the smell.

AndrAIa had to use her paralizing nails to get him to evacuate to the Principle Office during the system crash," Bob told them.

Crow: (AndrAIa) He still tips over my garbage cans while he's collecting for that.

Buffy looked worried.
"If you like, I can bring him here," AndrAIa smiled.

Tom: (AndrAIa) Paralyzing things is just good fun.

"What do you think?" Buffy asked Bob and Dot.
"If anyone can bring that crusty, old man here, it's AndrAIa," said Bob.

Bob: Albeit by force.

"And I would rather he be safe with us, then out there at the dump."
"I am kinda worried," Dot admitted.

Crow: (Dot) Even though the vampires can't get in and the clone seems vain enough not to want to ruin her looks by digging through a trash pile.

"Okay," AndrAIa smiled. "I'll go get him." She left through the portal Bob had made for Matrix.

Mike: (Bob) Whoops, did I leave that on?

"Mr. Pearson?" AndrAIa called.
"Yes, lass?" he replied.
"What's that?" She asked, pointing at a shadow over in the corner.

Tom: A wall?

"I don't know, lass." He turned to look.
AndrAIa silently extended her fingernails and gently scratched the back of what served as his neck.

Crow: Severing what served as his head instantly.

He reliesed just as she made contact what she had done.

Mike: (Pearson) Ach, not again. I fall fer' it EVERY time.

"Lass, what...!" was all Mr. Pearson could get out before he fainted into her arms.
"Why'd you do that, AndrAIa?" Matrix asked, his arms full with the box of wood.

Crow: (AndrAIa) I'm evil.

"Bob, Dot and Buffy were all worried," she explained.

Tom: (AndrAIa) Go figure.

"He's gonna delete me when he comes to!"

Bob: (AndrAIa) I suppose I could have asked but that would have taken the fun out of it.

"He'd have to get by me, first!" Matrix grinned.

Mike: Five minutes after he wakes up Old Man Pearson reconstructs his Pike...

She winked at him and returned through the portal with him.

Crow: Wow, she's carrying Pearson AND Matrix? I'm impressed.

As soon as they were through, Bob closed the portal.
"Thanks, Bob!" AndrAIa placed Mr. Pearson down on one of Dot's sofas.

Tom: (Bob) So where's the wood?
Mike: (Matrix) Forget that -- I got these magic beans!

"Let's get to work on those stakes!" Buffy grinned.
"I hope you don't mind if Drak and I hang back on that one," Angel joked.

Bob: (Buffy) Hope again, slacker.

She laughed, which became a yawn half-way through.

Crow: Oh yeah, she's tired.

"Maybe you should get some rest, Buffy," Bob suggested.
"Sounds good to me!" She yawned,

Mike: I mean, they have been pointing out how tired Buffy is for the last what, six, seven pages?

"But what about the rest of you?"

Tom: (Xander) Ha! We need no rest! Go on and sleep, you wuss.

"Let's make the crosses, first," Willow said. "Then we go to bed."

Crow: You simply glue two bits of wood together. How long can it TAKE you?

"Don't forget to make a couple for Wild Card and Jo Ann," Drak reminded them.

Bob: (Monotone) Oh yeah. Don't forget. Sure be a shame if something happened to them.

"Good idea!" the slayer yawned and started to whittle stakes with her pocket knife.

Tom: She carries a pocket knife around with her?
Crow: Now THAT I can believe.

The rest joined her in her task. Drak and Angel watched over Mr. Pearson.
Slowly, the old binome awoke

Mike: (Pearson) I have GOT to stop mixing prescription medicines.

"Hello," Angel smiled and greeted him.

Tom: (Pearson) Ach no, the elves are back!

"AndrAIa!!!" he growled.
"Yes, Mr. Pearson?"
"What's his problem?" Angel asked.

Crow: (Pearson) I keep on getting knocked out at the whim and mercy of a sprite who seems ta' find it funny. What do YOU think?

"Your sparkling personality?" Drak suggested.
"Very amusing!" Angel told Drak.

Tom: (Drak) Ha ha! I am so witty aren't I? Hey wait, don't leave...

"What's wrong, Mr. Pearson?" AndrAIa tried playing innocent.
"Who are these...and ye did it to me again, didn't ye!"

Crow: (Pearson) You're evil, woman!

"Did what?" she blinked.
"Ye poked me with ye nails, that's what!"

Bob: (AndrAIa) Look, why is it that every time there's an accident with paralyzing stinging nails around here you all blame me?

AndrAIa looked sheepish, "I did, Mr. Pearson..." she confessed.

Mike: Gift suggestions for AndrAIa-a pin cushion.

"Why, lass?" Mr. Pearson was trying to keep away from both Angel and Drak, who were on different sides of the sofa.

Crow: (Pearson) At least the singing blue mushrooms haven't shown up yet.

"We were worried about you," AndrAIa smiled. "Don't worry; they don't bite -- they're good vampires!"

Mike: When they're not hungry.

"Like care bears with fangs!" Cordy added, attempting to be helpful.

Crow: I, for one, have never been convinced that the care bears were good.

"Like what with fangs?!?" Mr. Pearson asked, eyeing her.

Tom: (Pearson) I'm warning ye, I have pepper spray.

"The curse of the clueless Cordy strikes again," Buffy grinned.

Bob: (Cordy) At least I'M still in character, Miss Grin and smirk.

"'Care Bears'?" Drak asked Cordy. He had never heard that in reference to himself or Angel before.

Mike: Man, what are the odds?

Buffy laughed, "Care bears were sweet little teddy bears who promoted love, peace and happiness.."

Tom: No no, those were the Hippies.

"Remember when Mom would call us, 'Teddy bears with fangs'?" Angel asked.

Crow: (Drak) NO. Man, what are you on?

"Yeah..." Drak blushed, giving him a porcelin doll look.

Mike: Glassy eyed and staring?

"Well, think of it as an updated version of that," Angel smiled.
"Thanks a lot, Cordy!" Drak's cheeks got redder.

Bob: (Cordy) Welcome. Wait, that was an insult!

Buffy was laughing helplessly. "Angel bear!" she teased.

Crow: Comes with its own IV bag!

Drak was laughing, too.
Angel faked a pout and headed over to Buffy. "You find that funny, Buffy Anne Summers?"

Tom: (Buffy) Well yes I DO, Angel...Angel...damnit, what IS your last name anyhow?

She nodded through her mirth; "Do you know?" he started to tickle her.

Mike: Know what?

"Angel!" Buffy laughed, trying to avoid being tickled. Matrix and AndrAIa smiled, remembering their own ticklish places.

Bob: Aw, I remember that in his toddler years. He outgrew it when he was about 7 or 8 though.

"Quit it already!" the Slayer squirmed about.
"Hey, guys!" Bob grinned. "I thought we were making crosses, here!"
"Yeah; back off, Angel!! We have work to do!" Buffy hid behind Giles.

Crow: (Giles) Oh NOW you come crawling back to give me a cameo.

Drak grinned and joined the ones making the crosses. Being a half-vampire, half-human, Drak had the vampire powers, but not the weaknesses.

Mike: Shouldn't he have a muddy, diluted mixture of both actually?
Crow: I don't even think a half-vampire is possible. I mean what does the sire do, just sort of nick the victim's neck or what?

Angel sat behind Buffy and massaged her shoulders as she worked on the crosses.
Bob finished two crosses and got up. "I'll take these to Wild Card and Jo Ann," he said.

Crow: Point first? Please?

Buffy smiled, "Try not to wake them!"

Bob: Don't worry, I can stab really accurately.

"Jo Ann may be asleep, but Wild Card probibily won't be," Bob smiled back.

Mike: (Bob) Insomnia runs in the family.

"I'll be right back." He went to the couple's room and knocked on the door.
Wild Card got up, and opened the door, squinting at the light.
"Sorry if I woke you bro," Bob said. "Here are a couple of crosses for you two."
"Thanks, bro," Wild Card smiled. "Good night." He took the the crosses from Bob.
"Stay safe!" Bob smiled and headed back to the group.
Wild Card closed the door and went back to bed.

Crow: The pointless `section we could have skipped that added almost absolutely nothing to the story', Ladies and Gentlemen.

Buffy or someone must have been in here before, because he could smell the garlic on the windows.

Tom: Nah, they just tried cooking Italian.

Bob returned to the others, "They're okay now, I think...I hope..."

Bob: Oh, I don't know. Who am I kidding?

"They will be," Xander said. "I took the extra precaustion of smearing garlic on the windows of their room."
"Thanks, Xand!" Buffy hugged him and a slight flicker of jealousy crossed Angel's face.

Mike: (Angel) More than 2 seconds of chaste, fully clothed touching another male? Grr...

"No problem." Catching the look Angel gave him, Xander went to sit with Cordy.

Crow: (Xander) So. YOU don't have a jealous demon for a boyfriend, right?

Buffy looked a bit puzzled, but shrugged it off and headed back to the stakes and crosses.
For several milliseconds, they worked on the anti-vampire weapons.

Tom: Enzo got splinters in his hands, Xander made his cross into the shape of an obscene object, and Cordelia cut herself.

Buffy yawned as she finished the final cross needed.

Bob: (Buffy) Did I mention I'm tired yet?

"Now, everybody --that can-- take a cross," Drak said.

Mike: (Angel) Okay-OW! Oh, anybody that CAN. Right.

The sprites and the Slayerettes

Mike: Hey, I saw them in concert when I was 17!

took crosses. Buffy already had the silver cross Angel had given her on their first encounter, and so didn't need one.

Tom: Wait, how'd he pick up a cross to GIVE to in the first place?

Even Drak took a cross. This looked really weird, a vampire holding a cross, and Andri said so.

Crow: (Andri) It's funny that you're holding a cross even though you just look like a pale human being and I couldn't tell you're a vampire anyhow normally.
Tom: We ARE forgetting the outlandish costume here.
Crow: True, true.

Little Enzo agreed and chuckled.
"Hey," Angel grinned. "He's the only vampire that can hold a cross!"

Mike: Miyu has you on that one, actually.

Buffy smiled and asked, "Do you still have the scar?"
"Nah...that healed..."
After recieving puzzled looks

Bob: All night.

Buffy explained, "One time when we kissed, my cross burnt him..."

Crow: Er-do we ask WHERE-?

"Even though Angel is a good vampire, he's still a vampire," Drak explained.

Mike: (Lens) Once a vampire...always a vampire.
Tom: Sorry Mike but I just don't think you can pull that voice off without a synthesizer.

"'Like a Care Bear with fangs'!!" Buffy quoted and giggled again.

Bob: Can I say "We're in hell, aren't we?" yet?
Mike: Nah. We usually reserve that for when we're past the halfway mark.
Bob: Where are we then?
Mike: Far as I can tell, not even one third done.
Bob: One thi-you're kidding.
Mike: Nope.

Angel gave Buffy a half-grin. He came over to her --carefully avoiding the crosses-

Crow: That Giles had kicked in his way.

and kissed her.
Buffy visibly relaxed as he kissed her; she stood up and seemed to melt into his arms;

Bob: Dribbling on his jacket.

for that moment she was just Buffy Summers, teenager in love;

Tom: Unlike normal Buffy Summers, Cowboy Desperado.

not the Slayer, not the Chosen One; just Buffy.
Dot smiled maternally at the young girl and her vampire suitor. Bob stepped up behind her and put his arm around her shoulder.

Bob: Isn't it sweet? (Pause) Get the hose.

Dot crossed her arms over her chest, placing her hands on his hands.
"I love you," he said.
"And I you, Bob; from the moment we met!"

Crow: (Dot) Except for that time we had that tiff and you were being such a jerk.

He kissed her.
She smiled and kissed him back.
Little Enzo and Andri yawned.

Mike: Please enjoy our pointless, rambling scenes.

"I think its time we got some sleep!" Dot smiled.
"Yes," Buffy yawned.

Tom: Oh, so they're SLEEPY. I get it now!

"I'll show the girls to their rooms," Dot said.

Crow: Bwomp-bwomp, chika chika-
Mike: You can't deny that was your comment there Crow.

"And I'll show the guys," Bob added.
"Seperate rooms?!"

Bob: Thank you.

Buffy pretended to pout, "No fair!"

Tom: (Buffy) We weren't going to really make out, we were just going to do some snuggling, maybe a little light necking...

"You...sleep...together...?" Dot asked, her maternal feelings rising.

Crow: Considering she's pregnant and Sarah Michelle Geller is really early twenty something you'd think Dot wouldn't be such a prude.

"Once..." Buffy looked at Angel. "It had some...consequences no-one expected..."

Mike: (Dot) Oh God, do I have to HEAR this?

"Maybe you should avoid it this time, too," Dot suggested.

Crow: She's no fun.

"I was planning to," Buffy sighed. "I was just teasing!"

Tom: (Dot) Well humor is evil.

"Alright," Dot smiled, as she led the girls to their room.
Buffy kissed Angel good-night and hugged Giles;

Tom: His blush lasted till next day.

Willow and Oz embraced and Xander and Cordy also kissed.
Drak and Isis also shared a long, passionate kiss goodnight.

Mike: You know, I keep on getting the feeling that somehow they think we care about all this smooching.

"Goodnight!" Buffy whispered.
"Night, Buffy," Angel smiled. The other couples parted with simular whispers.

Crow: (Whispering) Don't forget the crack.
Tom: (Whispering) I won't.
Mike: (same) Did we bring the lock pick?
Bob: (ditto) Oh yeah, it'll be a cinch.

Dot led the girls to their room.
"Good night, Dot," Buffy smiled.
"Goodnight, Buffy!" Dot smiled.

Crow: Good night assorted real and made-up characters.

Meanwhile, Bob was showing the guys their room.
Angel took the bed fartherest from the window out of habit.
"He doesn't like windows?" Bob asked Xander.

Mike: (Bob) You see how I've instantly deducted that even though he might just like corner beds or something?

"He's a vampire; he doesn't like sunlight..." Xander explained.

Tom: (Angel) I'm right here you know.

"Oh." Bob thought for a moment. "We have a room without windows he could sleep in, if he wants."
"I thought you guys didn't have sunlight!" Xander exclaimed. "'Dead Boy' is just being a dork!"

Bob: (Angel) So I'm a bit paranoid. Shut up.

"We don't. But if it will make Angel feel better to sleep in a room without windows,

Bob: The chicken.

it won't be a problem," Bob said.

Mike: (Bob) We'll just board up a few with some wood and duct tape and hope there's no large cracks.

Angel had looked toward them at Xander's exclaimation.

Crow: And fifteen minutes later, he realizes they're talking about him.

Angel and Xander had never really got on well; it was probably the strong feelings they both had for Buffy; but it had been a while since Xander had called him "dead boy".

Tom: God, how he had missed it so.

He frowned. "I will be fine, thank-you Bob..."
"Okay, Angel, if you say so," Bob smiled.
"Thank-you," the vampire nodded and sat down.
"Goodnight, guys," Bob smiled.

Bob: Laughing evilly as he shut the door.

"Goodnight, Bob," Giles smiled.

Crow: Smiling. It's like a spreading disease here.

Bob left to rejoin Dot. By now, the others had gone off to bed as well.

Tom: Grimaced?


Tom: Oh poo.

at Bob and wrapped her arms around him.
"Our turn," Bob whispered in her ear.

Tom: And in a PG rated fic too?
Bob: Uhm...uhm...er...

A smile crept across Dot's face. "Yes,my love...lets go and sleep..."
Carrying the crosses, Bob and Dot went to their room.

Crow: (Bob) Are you SURE that Buffy said we had to make them at least `big enough to hang on'?

Dot booted into her nightgown and lay down, "I hope the little one comes soon; I feel huge!"

Crow: Hey, that's MY line. Mike she stole my line!
Mike: No yours was "I'm huge!" She said she FELT like she was huge. Plus it's pretty much a public domain sentence either way.

"I'm sure both babies will come soon," Bob chuckled, kissing her.

Bob: Oh User not twins...

"I hope so!" she sighed.

Crow: (Dot) Then I can go from worrying about the viruses attacking me to worrying about them attacking me AND my baby.

Bob slipped his arms around her, holding her close.
Dot rested her head on his chest and fell asleep.
Glitch, please keep watch for the virals, Bob mentally spoke to his internal keytool as he fell asleep.

Crow: (Glitch) Hey, I sleep when you do merged-boy. Just get a pitbull or something.

At the crack of "dawn",

Tom: Since they have no real "morning".

Buffy awoke and started her exercises as quietly as possible.

Mike: Unfortunately her Richard Simmons "Sweatin' to the Oldies" tapes woke everyone up within three minutes.

All over the Principle Office, people were waking up and going about their routines.

Bob: The guards complained about loud snoring coming from Buffy's room.

Giles awoke, and walked to the girl's room. He knocked and Buffy answered the door.

Crow: (Giles) Good morning Buffy-oh good GOD, put some clothes on!

"Shh!! The rest of the girls are asleep!"
"Sorry," he whispered.

Mike: (Buffy) THAT'S OKAY!

"What do you want, Giles?"

Bob: A GOOD job. But I suppose I'll have to settle for checking up on you.

Willow turned over in her bed.

Crow: (Willow, muttering in sleep) Poptarts...small animals...balloons...incense...

"Go back to sleep, Will!" Buffy smiled.
"'Kay..." Willow yawned.

Crow: (Willow) Petting zoos...fluffy kittens...pentagrams...
Mike: What are you TALKING about?
Crow: I'm doing a stream of Willow's consciousness.

Buffy smiled and slipped out of the room to talk to her Watcher.
Bob was making coffee and Dot was making breakfast.

Tom: And explain to me why SHE'S doing the cooking if she's pregnant?

Dot hummed a tune low in her throat; she didn't have half the voice Bob did and was bashful about singing around him.

(All cough loudly and use exclamations such as "What the hell?" except for Bob)

Mike: Excuse me?
Crow: Say WHAT? Half the voice of BOB? Excuse me? Has she ever HEARD Bob sing?
Bob: (Insulted) I'm not THAT-
Mike: Didn't they ever watch the "The Crimson Binome" where Bob was singing along to a walkman as he fixed his car? He was awful!
Bob: Hey!
Mike: Sorry.
Tom: And DOT-she sang at the talent show for crying out loud! In public! She's shy now? When she could beat her boyfriend hands down?
Crow: I think it's best we drop this before we go nuts.
Mike: Yes. Let's.

"You sing wonderful, love," Bob whispered to her.

Crow: (Bob) Better than I form sentences at least.

She blushed, "I didn't think I was loud enough to be heard..."
"I heard," he smiled. "It's beauiful."

Tom: What's that song called? "Tub thumping?"

He kissed her cheek.
Dot blushed again. "You're sweet..."

Bob: I'm also minty.

"I love you," he smiled.
"Ditto, Bob..." she grinned.

Crow: He's secretly a pokemon? Get him!

"Good morning, guys," Jo Ann yawned as she entered the room. Wild Card was right behind her.

Tom: He's like a sheepdog that way.

"Morning, sleepyhead," Dot smiled at Jo Ann.

Mike: (Dot) Getting up fifteen minutes later than us.

"Hey, Wild Card!"
"Mornin', Dot; Bob," Wild Card grinned.
"Java?" Bob offered.

Crow: No thanks, my browser sucks.

"Not for me, thanks. I'll take some peppermint

Tom: Patty.

tea," Jo Ann smiled.
Dot pulled down the teabags and handed them to Jo Ann.

Bob: (Dot) Here, go serve yourself; I'm pregnant. Wait, so are you. Just get your hubby to do it.

"Thanks, Dot," Jo Ann said as she prepared her favorite hot drink.

Mike: Tea?
Crow: Yuck.
Tom: Whatever happened to double-mocha cocoa?

Dot just smiled and handed Wild Card a full-cooked breakfast.

Bob: (Dot) Here, I'm pregnant yet I'll do all the cooking even though I AM command.com as my role as a maternal woman demands. Don't mind my tears. They're from joy. Really.

"Same for you, Jo?" she asked.
"Sure," Jo Ann smiled. Carefully, she sat down at the table.

Crow: (Jo) Oof! Oh this hurts! Glad we can take it easy, huh Dot-oh wait, yeah. Sorry.

Dot quickly whipped up another breakfast; she wasn't the owner Mainframe's fastest food restaurant for nothing; she was a fairly speedy and good cook herself.

Mike: Speedy at least.
Bob: Or she would be if she did her own cooking.
Mike: She doesn't?
Bob: Dot can't fry an egg. The dumpster near her apartment is filled to the brim with take-out cartons.

Slowly, the others joined them.

Crow: (Buffy) Oh geez, should I tell her that scrambled eggs shouldn't be black like that or not?

Dot handed out breakfasts to all the sprites and most of the guys.

Bob: Except Angel. She didn't like him.

The young women demurred from such a hearty meal first thing in the morning...

Mike: They felt it would disturb the bulimic reactions of their metabolisms. Of course the men dug into it immediately as their stereotypes demanded.

"Would you like something else?" Bob asked the girls.
"Do you have grapefruit?" Buffy asked.
"Hmmm...Phong has a garden somewhere in the PO. We could ask him," Bob said.

Bob: Yeah but all it's filled with are lawn gnomes.

Buffy smiled. "Or just juice!"

Crow: Buffy's anorexic side.

"I'll look," Bob said, openning the refrigerater.

Tom: (Bob) Let's see we-oh God! When's the last time we CLEANED in here?!

There was a large carton of orange juice in there.
"Buffy, you should get some cardohydrates in you for energy!" Giles advised.

Mike: (Buffy) But Xander hogged all the Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

"Do you mind orange juice?" Bob asked.

Crow: (Buffy) Yes I DO mind. I DEMAND apple.

"Love it!" Buffy grinned, giving Giles an "Oh please!" look.

Bob: (Buffy) You worry too much about me starving to dea-(Makes a `whump' sound.)

Bob set the juice carton in front of the girls, then got out glasses.
"Morning everyone, by the way!" the Slayer grinned.

Tom: (Dot) It only took her 4 minutes after sitting down to say it that time.

"Good morning, Buffy," Bob smiled.
She grinned at the Guardian, sipping her juice.

Crow: Just make that milk instead and we've got ourselves another one of those `Got milk?' posters.

Mr. Pearson came in, moaning and complaining, as usual.

Tom: (Pearson) Ack, haven't ye just all died yet?

"Morning!" Buffy smiled warmly at the old binome.
"'Morning," he grunted, then went back to complaining.

Bob: (Pearson) My shower only has cold water! And the chocolate mint on my pillow was stale!

She smiled affectionatly at him.

Mike: If ANY of you say anything so help me God I'm throwing you out the airlock.

Buffy's smile had a winning affect on the old binome. He smiled back at her.
AndrAIa watched, amazed.

Tom: (AndrAIa) He's HOW old? And she's hitting on-
Mike: NO.

"What?" Buffy asked.
"Nothing," the game sprite smiled.

Crow: Wondering when she could have the reconstructive surgery that would let her gain control of her face muscles again so she could stop.

Buffy shrugged. She smiled as Angel sat down next to her.
"Hello there, honey!" She smiled.
"Hi, love," he smiled.

Tom: (Angel) Pass the milk, snoogy.
Bob: (Buffy) There you are, nummy-poofles.

"What are we gonna do for breakfast for you?" Buffy frowned slightly.

Bob: (Angel) Uhm-just crane your necks out really far and look over there for a second.

"Good question," Dot said. "Any ideas?"

Mike: Just give him a can of condensed blood and he'll be fine.

"Uummm..." Buffy looked down at her wrist.
"No way, Buffy; No... don't even think about it!" Angel said emphatically.

Crow: She was only checking out an inkspot she noticed there.

"Maybe there's a butcher shop in Mainframe," Oz suggested.
"But could he feed on virtual energy?" Buffy asked.

Tom: (Singing) `Cause it's, all just, virtual eeenergy...

"One way to find out," Bob said. He called the butcher shop.

Mike: Thrill as they figure out Angel's dietary needs!

The butcher was puzzled but sent his supply of blood to the PO.
"Here you go, Angel," Bob said, handing him the blood.

Crow: Gaze in awe as Bob passes him a bag of blood!

Angel excused himself and left the room to feed.
Little Enzo and Andri passed him coming in.

Mike: (Andri) What's that SMELL?

"What's he got?" Enzo asked.
"Blood!" Buffy told him, honestly.

Tom: (Enzo) Cool! Can I see?

Little Enzo and Andri visably paled.

Bob: No no, just HUMAN blood.
Crow: (Enzo) Oooh. Phew.

"He is a vampire," Buffy smiled, almost sadly.
Enzo looked sick, although, with his normal complction, it was hard to tell.

Mike: Mint green is kind of hard to go pale in.

Buffy held her arms out and the little sprite sat on her knee,

Tom: What's Enzo's age again?
Bob: In human years around...12 I think.
Mike: I'd say he's a bit too old to be sitting on Buffy's lap.
Bob: Hey he's sitting still, what more do you want?

"Its just something to get used to," she told him gently.

Tom: (Buffy) Why, soon you'll get to know and love the way he sucks on supper.

Drak came in, and immediantly saw the little boy in Buffy's lap.
"What's wrong with him?" he asked.

Mike: (Drak) He's never been so...quiet.

"Blood nausia..." Buffy smiled.
"Oh..." Drak replied. "What else is there for breakfast?"

Tom: Well...(Starts singing) Margarine, or one or two percent...

"Cooked breakfast?" Dot offered.

Crow: We COULD whip it up raw if you'd prefer.

"Sure," Drak grinned.
Dot was on her feet again and whipping up another breakfast far faster than a pregnant woman had the right to move.

Mike: Geez, does she want to die in childbirth here or what?
Crow: Actually there's a fic where that happens.
(They contemplate this in silence)
Crow: (Hastily) But she's brought back after that. I think.
Bob: I don't care. That's still a horrible thing to do.
Crow: Maybe the author had a good reason.
Bob: (Nastily) Like WHAT?
Crow: (Sensing Bob's a bit upset) Never mind.

"Slow down, Dot!" Bob said. He led her to the table as Mouse took over the cooking.
"I'm not a baby, Bob!" Dot protested.

Tom: Yeah, but you're having one.

"True, but you are going to have one," Bob smiled.

Tom: Wh-hey! He stole my line! (looks at Bob accusingly) You stole my line!
Bob: Whatever.

"Take it easy and let Mouse make breakfast."
Dot unwillingly acquiesed and sat down, frowning.

Mike: (Dot) I must find a way to be a workaholic again...

He smiled and kissed her.
Dot's frown melted slightly.
Drak smiled at the scene.

Crow: (Shaking his head) There's only so many jokes we can make about that.

When Isis came in, he got up and kissed her.
"Hey there," he greeted her.

Tom: You know it IS okay to have dialogue without explaining how the characters said it. That's what dialogue IS.

"Good morning, Drak," Isis smiled and kissed him back.
Angel returned to the room, wiping the remaining blood from his mouth;

Mike: (Angel) DAMN, that's good blood.

his face normal, not vamped.
"Morning, cousin!" Drak smiled.
"Mornin' Drak..." he smiled.
Angel looked down at little Enzo.

Tom: He's thinking about what kind of a martini Enzo'd make.

"Will you be okay?" he asked him.
"He's a little scared about the vampire thing," Buffy explained.

Crow: (Enzo) Am not! Uhm...could you step away a bit?

"Sorry about that, kiddo," Angel smiled. His open mouth did not have fangs.
Buffy put her hand on Enzo's hand. "Would it help to see Angel in full vampire form? So you're not scaring yourself with your imagination?"

Bob: (Enzo) Traumatize me with a hideous visage of what I fear? Sure, why not!

"I...I...I guess..." the boy stammered.

Tom: Enzo tends to get the short end of the stick most of the time, doesn't he?

"Sorry, love," Buffy said and thrust her cross in Angel's face.

Crow: You can tell they really care for each other.

He hissed and backed off, his features metamorphing into his full vampire face.

Mike: He looks like Mitchell!

Little Enzo gulped. Andri gasped. The Mainframers stared in shock at Angel.

Crow: (Angel) Stop staring at my pimple.

Buffy replaced her cross and stood up, fearlessly approaching Angel, her hands reaching for him. She carressed his face, until it returned to normal.

Tom: The others looked away in disgust and horror.

"T...t...that's what he looks l...like?" Little Enzo gulped.
Buffy nodded.

Bob: (Enzo) COOL! Do it again!

"Thanks for the warning, Buffy!" Angel sighed.

Crow: (Buffy) You're welco-oh wait. Sarcasm.

"Sorry..." she whispered. Buffy stroked Enzo's hair to calm him.

Mike: What is he, a dog?

Angel knelt down by Buffy and the boy-sprite. "Are you okay, Enzo?"

Crow: (Enzo) I'll let you know when my CPU resumes beating.

"I...I...I think s...s...so," the boy stammered, his gaze still on Angel.

Tom: (Enzo) Thanks for showing me your inner hideousness like that.

"I'm on your side, remember?" Angel smiled.

Bob: That's not a good idea if his fangs are still out.

"Okay..." Enzo managed a small smile.

Mike: (Enzo) Mask my fear, mask my fear...

Angel smiled at him, upset that he had scared them.

Tom: It was a pleasant sort of upsetment.

Andri ventured forward.

Crow: Is she smiling?
Bob: Any moment now.

She, too, had been frightened by Angel's vampiric face.
Angel held his hand out to her.

Tom: (Angel) Here, I'll give you a piggy-back ride to make up for it.

She took his hand, her big, turquoise eyes looking into his.
Angel smiled at the small girl. "Don't worry," he smiled. "Good dogs don't bite..."

Mike: (Angel) I, on the other hand...

Andri managed a smile.

Bob: Ah. See?

Suddenly, she hugged him around his neck, braving those fangs that she knew he had.

Tom: Little AndrAIa. Weird taste in clothes AND suicidal tendencies!

"The fangs only come out when he vamps," Buffy smiled.

Crow: (Buffy) See, like he is right now. . .

Andri smiled at Angel.
Angel smiled back.

Mike: "Bob smiled at Dot. Dot smiled at Angel. Angel smiled at Enzo." It goes on like that for a bit; let's skip ahead.

Little Enzo looked at Drak. "Do you do the same thing?" he asked.
"No," Drak smiled gently at the children.

Bob: (Drak) Mine's much worse.

"This is my vampire form."
"Some folks are lucky..." Angel smiled.

Tom: (Angel) Like me. Damn, this vampire gig is sweet.

"Would you like to see my human form?" Drak asked the children. Perhaps seeing him as a human would calm their nerves after seeing Angel in full vampire form.

Crow: Or maybe it'd just kill a few more paragraphs. You know. Whatever.

Andri and Enzo nodded in morbid fascination.

Tom: (Andri) Yay! You're going to horribly contort your features for us!

Drak concentrated. His white skin became an ivory color.

Mike: So, his white skin turned white.

The shadows above his eyes vanished and his lips became a more natural red color. The fangs disappeared into his mouth. His armor became black and silver racing clothes, a red racer's scarf at his neck.

Crow: (Drak) Did I mention that my human form is Al Uncer Jr.?

The sword disappeared, replaced by a silver motorcycle helmet

Mike: And then his car turned back into a pumpkin as he fled from the ball.

with two black bats on the sides. When Drak smiled, his teeth were flat, with no sign of the fangs that he had before.
Andri smiled at him.

Bob: (Andri) Now pull a rabbit out of your hat!

Drak smiled back at her.
"Ya'know, I'm gonna have to find out more about vampires now!" Andri smiled.

Crow: (Drak) Well, visit our website at www.hemoglobin.com.

"Like this, he's a motorcycle racer," Xander smiled.
"BIKES!!" both Andri and AndrAIa's eyes lit up.

Tom: (AndrAIa) That's a part of my character! I get to be excited now!

"What is it with you and bikes!" Matrix and little Enzo said together.
Both game sprites continued to beam, "I don't know..."

Mike: Banality! (In stereo, where available)

Buffy laughed. "Talk about being in snyc!"

Crow: Well, my life in southern New York City was full of. . . oh, that was a typo.

"Yeah," Willow agreed.
Drak smiled and knelt to come to eye-level with Andri.
"You're a BIKER?" There was awe in her face and voice.

Mike: (Andri) What's it like to go twice the speed limit through residential areas, your motors roaring loud enough to make ears bleed?

"Yep!" he smiled. "I race on jetskis, too."
"Ooh..." Andri and AndrAIa both inhaled excitedly.
"Carefull, girls," Drak grinned. "Your boyfriends might become jealous!"

Bob: (AndrAIa) Screw 'em. They don't have bikes.

"I don't have a boyfriend, as such," Andri told him, glancing over her sholder at little Enzo.
The small sprite gave her a look, his hands on his hips.

Tom: (Enzo) You do too! Er, I mean, eww, cooties! Or. . . what's my opinion on this issue again?

"Gonna do somethin' about that?" Andri challenged him.
"Hey, now!" Drak said. "Peace, you two."
"NO: I wanna know where I stand!" Andri insisted.

Crow: Well, look down at your feet, and that's where it would be.

Drak sighed and looked up at Bob and Dot.
They shrugged and turned their attention to the young sprites.
Drak moved out of the way to allow Bob and Dot to handle the situation.

Mike: (Drak) Well, I got 'em all wound up for you. Bye.

"Andri, what's wrong?" Dot asked.
Drak transformed back into his vampire form, the armor once again replacing the racing clothes, and the sword reappearing at his waist.
Andri pouted, "Go back to Biker Mode!

Bob: (Andri) C'mon, turn it on and off like a light, you object!

"Alright, but just for a while," Drak smiled. "I need to be ready if the virues attack." Drak returned to human form.
Andri grinned broadly and hugged him.

Tom: (Andri) I like my new dolly.

Drak hugged her back. He looked to the others, grinned, and shrugged.
Little Enzo looked about to explode.

Crow: (Enzo) Man, this is really bugging me! How am I supposed to be reacting to this?

Drak looked to Bob and Dot with a look that said, "What do I do?"
"Play it by ear!" Dot smiled.
"Thanks a lot!" Drak mouthed to her.
Dot winked.

Mike: Thrill as they communicate without speech!

Drak looked uncomfortable. He did not want to be the cause of the breakup of Andri and Enzo's friendship, but he did not want to discourage Andri, either.

Crow: He didn't want to discourage her petty, conditional love for him.

He looked to AndrAIa and Matrix for help.
AndrAIa had a nostalgic look on hre face and Matrix was chuckling quietly to himself.

Bob: (Matrix) I'd like to see him try and get out of this one.

Poor Drak was now regreating that he had ever offered to allow the children to see him in human form.

Tom: He learned too late that Man is a feeling creature and, because of it, the greatest in the universe. He learned too late that Men have to make their own way. . .

Andri sat down on Drak's lap and smiled up at him.
Drak looked at little Enzo. His eyes said, "Sorry, Enzo!"

Crow: (Drak) But she's all mine now!

Little Enzo glared at him.
Drak looked around at the others for some help.
No help was forthcoming; everyone was too amused.

Tom: (Dot) This is the funniest emotional quandry I've ever seen!

"I don't like to see friendships broken, you two," Drak said slowly. "I have two very good friends that I haven't seen in a very long time,

Mike: (Drak) But they might be out for parole soon.

and I miss them very much. Please, make up." He smiled at both of them.
"I just need to know where I stand, Enzo Matrix!" Andri declared. Andraia was lip-synching with the little girl

Tom: (AndrAIa) Yes! Just like we rehearsed it!

The small sprite was dumbfounded. He could not say a word. What could he say? He looked to Bob...Matrix...Angel...anyone for advice.
"Am I just a friend to you? What do you want from me?" Andri asked.

Crow: (Andri) We're ten years old now! It's time to start making some commitments!

"I...I...I..." was all little Enzo could get out. Finally, he ran out of the room.

Tom: (Enzo) Quit girling me with your girl stuff!

Andri started to cry.

Bob: (Andri) Oh, I'm going to be single forever!

"Oh, Andri," Drak whispered, rubbing her hair in an attempt to soothe her.
Andri just kept weeping.

Mike: Something is desperately wrong with your story when your biggest conflict is a breakup brought on by discovering that an entirely unrelated character is a biker.

"I wish I knew what to do," he whispered.
AndrAIa got up and followed Little Enzo; it hurt her to watch her little sister cry.

Crow: It was a lot more fun to watch Enzo cry.

Drak continued to comfort Andri.

Tom: (Andri) Umm, no, I'm Andri.

"What?" The small sprite was looking through a window that over-looked Phong's indoor garden.

Mike: Hey, it's Phong's private stash!
Tom: Whoo!

"Are you okay...?" Andraia put her hand on his back.
"Wanna talk about it?"

Bob: Wasn't this story about killer vampire viruses at one point?
Crow: I dunno. Can't remember.

"I...I...I...guess so..."
AndrAIa sat down beside him, "So..."

Mike: (AndrAIa) C'mon, spill it. I don't have all day.

"I don't understand what Andri wants from me!" Enzo said.
Andraia sat down and sighed. "What do you think she wants?"
"I...don't know," he admitted.

Tom: (Enzo, guessing) Babies?

"How do you feel about her?" AndrAIa tried a different angle.
"I like her. I want to be her friend," little Enzo said.
"Just her friend...?" AndrAIa asked.

Crow: (Enzo) Well, we'd have some sex, but. . .
Mike: Okay, that's enough of that.

"Yeah...I...guess so," Enzo said. Then, he bit his lip. "Why did Xander have to say that Drak raced motorcycles?!

Bob: Exposition. Padding. Pretty much the same reason as everything else.

Couldn't he have just kept quiet and not said anything about it?!"
"How did that make you feel, Enzo?" Andraia asked.
"That Andri likes Drak better then she likes me."

Tom: (AndrAIa) Well, at least nothing's wrong with your perception.

"Were you jealous?"
"I don't know. I felt...like maybe she would rather be with him, now, since he raced bikes and jetskis."
"Jealous?" AndrAIa asked, spelling it out.

Mike: (Enzo) Well, no, it was more like. . .
Crow: (AndrAIa) Listen, you were jealous! Jealous, you hear me!
Mike: (Enzo, crying) Okay!

"Yes," little Enzo sighed. He hung his head and began to cry, ashamed of the feeling.

Bob: (Enzo) I'm ashamed of being upset for being overlooked for no reason other than my lack of a bike.

Andraia held her arms open to him.
Enzo ran into her arms, laying his head on her shoulder and crying.
AndrAIa let him cry, running his back.

Tom: When will Drak's biker costume's horrible reign of pain and anguish end?

Quietly, Drak came upon them. He kept a respectful distance, not wanting to intrude, but needing to talk to little Enzo, just the same.
AndrAIa felt him standing there, and she lifted Enzo's chin, getting him to look at Drak.

Crow: (AndrAIa) There's the cause of your pain! Now kill him!

"Enzo...I'm sorry," Drak said. "I don't know what else I can say, or how else to say it, but I am. Terribly."

Mike: (Drak) My biker-ness just got way out of hand! I had no control over myself!

Drak came and sat on the other side of AndrAia and Enzo.
AndrAIa smiled at him, "Enzo, Drak is talking to you..."

Bob: (Enzo) Yeah, well. . . well tell him I don't talk to stupid biker guys.

Enzo looked at Drak. "What do I say?" he whispered to her.
"Tell him how you feel," she whispered back.

Crow: Don't hold anything back! Just go out there and tear him a new one!

Enzo hesitated, gulped, then took a deep breath. "Drak...I...I've been jealous...of...

Mike: (Enzo) The way you pay attention to Andri and never to ME.

y...y...you. Andri likes you better then she likes me. You race motorcycles; I don't. To her, your racing is better then any of the games we play,

Tom: (Enzo) Except the racing games, I guess.

the dreams of being Guardians..." Enzo broke out in new sobs, freshly ashamed of the feelings he was having for one who only wanted to be his friend.

Mike: Today, on a very special "The Young and the Rendered".

AndrAIa hugged him close to her. Drak was about to speak, but AndrAIa got there first.

Crow: (AndrAIa) You've screwed things up enough, thanks.

"Enzo, do you think I like Drak better than I like Matrix?

Tom: (Enzo) Uhm-yes?
Bob: (AndrAIa, sighing) And I thought I'd never have to deal with the little you again.

'Cos I love bikes and bikers too..."
Enzo stopped crying and looked up at her, then Drak, then back to AndrAIa.

Mike: (Enzo) You know, this bike fetish is getting kinda disturbing...

"Do you?" he asked, tears falling down his face.

Bob: (AndrAIa) I asked you first.

"Of course not," AndrAIa told him gently. "I love Matrix; and Andri loves you..."

Crow: (AndrAIa) See how that works? You have no personalities of your own, so you emulate what Matrix and I do. It's neat!

"S...s...she does?"
AndrAIa nodded, "I think so..."

Mike: (AndrAIa) In a formulaic sort of way, yeah.

"Do you like Drak, too?" Enzo asked, looking over to the young biker.
"Oh yeah; he's a nice guy...pretty hot too..." AndrAIa smiled at the vampire.

Tom: (AndrAIa) Plus he's got a bike. . . hmmm. . . . Where was I?

Drak smiled and blushed. "Enzo, no matter how much AndrAIa likes me, I'll never take the place of Matrix in her heart.

Tom: (AndrAIa) Hmm? Oh, right. . .

I'm glad of that. I'd rather she love Matrix more then she likes me.

Tom: (AndrAIa) Of course I do Bike -- I mean, Drak.

The same is true with Andri. I'm glad she likes me, but I could never replace you in her heart. I will have a special place in her heart,

Bob: (Drak) By virtue of owning a bike.

but you have had one for far longer than I, and will continue to do so."

Mike: (Drak) Or ELSE.

AndrAIa nodded as the little sprite looked to her for confirmation. "It's true..."

Crow: (AndrAIa) Well, we've almost gotten this little subplot wrapped up nicely haven't we?

"Now, you need to tell her how you feel about her," Drak smiled. He nodded his head toward the arched door of the room. Andri was standing there, shyly, not wanting to break this most delicate of moments.

(Bob makes smashing noises)

Tom: (Andri) Oops. Dang, sorry.


Crow: (AndrAIa) Are you ready to be trapped in a predictible relationship with me?

"Hello, Andri..." Enzo said almost shyly.
"We...uh, we need to talk..."

Mike: (Andri) I want to start seeing other people.

"Yeah...we do..." he looked to AndrAIa and Drak.
"Can we, uh, have some privacy?" Andri asked.

Crow: Why, by all means.
(Everyone gets up.)

"Sure," Drak smiled. "See you two later."
AndrAIa and Drak left.

Tom: All right, Mike, you know the plan?
Mike: Yeah. . .
Bob: I'm right behind you. Don't worry about a thing.
Crow: I'll tell Gypsy we're leaving. . .

(Pearl's standing at the bridge, completely engrossed in a magazine.  Mike walks up to her.)

Mike: (laying on the old Mike Nelson charm) So, uh, <ahem> Pearl. . . Hi. . .

Pearl: (deadpan) Don't bother me.

Mike: So, how about this ion storm? Sure is the season for it.

Pearl: (still deadpan) I don't care.

Mike: Listen, uh. . . after all this to finish, what you think about a meeting?

Pearl: (looking up, rather insulted) Ex-squeeze me?

Mike: (blithering) Well, what I mean is, if you want to, uh. . . dah. . .

Pearl: (laying a hand on Mike's shoulder, looking sympathetic) Oh Mike. . . I knew this was going to come someday.

Mike: (not liking the sound of that) What?

Pearl: You know. . . me and you being the last woman and man left in the universe apart from the occasional guest star, I mean, I can understand what you're going through.

Mike: (starting to panic) Look, Pearl, I don't want you to get the wrong idea here. . .

Pearl: No no, don't try to explain it. It's perfectly natural, and I don't hold it against you. (suddenly more normal) But it just wouldn't work out, you and me. You know how it is. I've got the universe to rule, and you're the only hapless guinea pig I can find, so we're just going to have to face it. We weren't made for each other.

Mike: (relieved) Well, that's. . . I mean, I'm sorry to hear that Pearl, but I guess you're right. We. . . it just wouldn't work out between us.

Pearl: Well, fortunately I had a plan all lined up for if something like this should happen.

Mike: (becoming worried again) You did?

Pearl: Yep. Brain Guy?

Observer: (popping up from behind the desk) Madam?

Pearl: Listen, there's a little procedure I want you to do on Mike.

(Pearl whispers in Observer's ear as Mike ponders what "little procedure" Pearl might have in mind.)

Observer: Can do. (he starts concentrating.)

Mike: (realization dawning on him, he grabs Observer's brain away.) Wait! Hold on just a second!

Pearl: Look, Mike, I know it sounds scary and everything, but in a few days you'll have forgotten all about it, and you'll feel a lot better. Plus you probably won't piddle on the rug as much.

Mike: (wondering what is taking Bob so long) Look, this has just been a big misunderstanding, I don't think we have to. . .

Bob: Yoink!  (suddenly jumping up from near Pearl, running past the shot) I got the keys! Let's go!

(Mike stands baffled a moment.)

Pearl: (shocked) Why you. . . Brain Guy! Stop him!

(Observer snatches his brain back and starts concentrating just as Mike thinks to run. Mike stops in mid-lunge.)

Mike: Can't. . . move. . . too. . . strong. . .

Pearl: (smacking Observer in the head) Not Mike, Bob! The one who's running away with the keys!

Observer: Well, you said "him" and I just assumed you meant. . .

Pearl: Shut up and bring the blue-faced guy back, now!

(Observer concentrates as Magic Voice makes an announcement)

Magic Voice: Warning. The Widowmaker is taking off from airlock three.

Observer: I can't reach him! He's in the middle of the ion storm!

Pearl: Well, that's just. . . (looking at Cambot) You!  Get me that rocket out there.

Observer: Rocket Number Nine.

Pearl: Yeah, whatever.

(A shot of the model of the SOL with the model of the Widowmaker speeding away from it. Glitter sprinkles down magically.)

(Cut to a shot of the Widowmaker cockpit. Bob's alone in the driver's seat.)

Bob: Hi! Mike! Listen, I'm sorry about leaving without you guys, but I didn't know how long I could stay there without getting caught. I'm going to get help, okay? Just hang tight for a few seconds. I'm going to find a galaxy patrol, and I'm going to report these scumbags. Isn't this great?! We finally won! We're going to. . .

Megabyte: (popping up in the back seat, covering Bob's eyes with his hands.) Guess who.

Bob: (quietly) Oh dear. . .

(Back to the SOL. Everyone has showed up to watch the commotion. Various, uh, noises come from the monitor. Everyone watches in shock and horror.)

Mike: My god. . . I've never seen anything like that. . .

Bobo: It's too horrible to speak of!

Pearl: He's. . . he's infecting him!

Crow: (just realizing) Oh, that's what they're doing! I thought they were. . .

Mike: (holding Crow's beak shut) How did Megabyte get in there, anyway?

(Cut back to the Widowmaker. Megabyte, in the driver's seat, looks dreadfully pleased with himself. Bob is passed out in the passenger's side.)

Megabyte: I realized that I left my spare legs in the Widowmaker, so I came back for them. And who should I find but Bob here? (chuckles to himself) This escape is over.

(Back to the SOL)

Pearl: (hurt) Well, I see we just can't trust you enough to live with you. As soon as Megs comes back with the bus, we're leaving this nest of lies and deceit.

Servo: Oh, but Pearl. . .

Pearl: No no. . . you go watch your story. . . I can tell when we're not wanted around here. . .

Crow: (apologetic) Look, we didn't mean anything by it. . .

(Lights and sirens)

Mike: We've got Movie Sign! (dashes off)

Servo: Please don't make this any harder than it already is!

Crow: Yeah, I mean, don't go away mad. . .

(Mike comes back in, grabs the bots, and dashes off again)

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