Part VI: "Brotherly Love...Sort Of"

Crow: Whhrrrrmmmmpphhhh....
Mike: CROW!
Crow: What, what? I didn't say anything yet!

The Academy looked more or less like a huge college campus,

Crow: Little happy students left and right, carrying their book bags, unaware that Bob, the big blue bully, would soon return...
Tom Servo: Why ARE you blue anyways?
Bob: Goes with the uniform.

the size of a small system in and of itself.

Tom Servo: Many students still hiding in the depths of the campus trying to find their way out...

It wasn't just any school--

Mike: It was a school in a place called Dorksville.
Crow: Population - Bob.

it was the only school for Guardians, and the center of all Guardian activity. In the exact center of the Academy lay the Supercomputer's Principle Office.

Tom Servo: Oh sure, put the most important building in the middle of the school grounds...
Crow: Why not? Then the students can write graffiti on the side and be *happy*!
Mike: Crow, what IS it with you and being happy? I mean, not that I object, I'm just wondering...
Crow: I just like being *happy*! It's good to be *happy*! When others are *happy*, it makes me *happy*!
Bob: Ooooooo-kay, moving right along...

This was the destination of our two heroes.

Tom Servo: I refuse to accept these people as heroes. Ours or otherwise.

Meanwhile, inside the Principle Office, a heated debate was taking place.

Tom Servo: "I really think about now is the time to stop handing out automatic weapons to every new student..."
Mike: "I disagree. It's good for the kiddies!"
Tom Servo: I still have no idea what's going on since I haven't been paying much attention through most of this - but that's O.K.

"We can't keep avoiding the obvious!"

Mike: But we sure can hide it well.

Guardian Rose shouted. "The Web is a serious threat,

Tom Servo: Freedom, Justice, friendly Government.. it ALL RUNS RAMPERNT!

and every time we come up against it, you look the other way!"

Crow: Maybe they should remove the hot chick from the room.. she seems to draw a lot of attention. Don't you agree Bob…?
Bob: I don't know, I'm not interested. I love Dot.
Crow: Hehehe.. what was that whole thing between you and Gypsy then?
(Bob turns red)

Turbo's voice was firm. "Much of what we know about the Web amounts to rumor and myth.

Crow: "Hey Timmy! You hear 'bout the web? My mom says the boogie man lives there!"

We can't launch an attack unless we know what we're up against."

Tom Servo: Yeah, like first they have to find out weather the web is *BAD* or not.

"Funny you should mention the Web,"

Mike: Ya, It's only been the topic of conversation through this whole movie…

said a voice from the far side of the council chamber. A figure stepped into the light.

Crow: And then a person stepped up right behind it.
Bob: A figure IS a person Crow...
Crow: Ohhhhh....

"Mouse?" Turbo didn't sound too surprised.

Mike: He had been expecting her for their 'appointment'...

"What is it now?"

Crow: (Mouse) "I need some sugah bay'be!"

"Look, Turbo, ah gotta talk to you." She glanced at the other Guardians seated at the table. "...Alone."

Tom Servo (Nudging Bob): Hey hey! She's putting the moves on your brother!
Bob: Oh shaddup...

Rose eyed the hacker suspiciously. "What are _you_ doing here?" she asked.

Crow: (Mouse) "Standing sugah, yew?"

"I thought you would be--"

Tom Servo: Drunk!
Bob: Somewhere else!
Crow: Fatter!
Mike: Stuck in some rip in space and time, with no hope of ever finding home, right after your own planet was destroyed... I.. I...
Tom Servo: There, there Mike.. everything's.. gonna be O.K.

"This is personal business, Rose. It's not your concern."

Crow: How'd she know her name?
Bob: PLOT HOLE!!! PLOT HOLE!!!!

Turbo turned to address the entire group. "Meeting adjourned."

Tom Servo: (Turbo) "But I'll see YOU, Rose, in my office later. Click click"

Rose opened her mouth to protest, but a look from Turbo silenced her. She left in disgust.

Mike: He has pink eye?

"So," Turbo went on after all the Guardians had left, "did it work?" Mouse grinned. "Maybe you'd better see for yo'self."

Tom Servo: Yeah, go out into the corridor, take forty steps down the hallway, turn left, go down the stairs marked 'Stairs', take a right, hang a U-ey, back step five steps, do not past go, grab a cold one, go into the basement, and you'll find out then!

She made a beckoning gesture toward the doorway, and a second figure stepped in.

Crow: And then a person stepped out from behind the figure...
Mike: CROW!
Crow: Oops, sorry, sorry! I forgot already...

Turbo recognized him immediately.

Tom Servo: Which was a surprise considering his bouts with memory loss...
Bob: He doesn't have memory loss! No one in my family does!
Tom Servo: Well they could ya know...
Bob: Could what?
Tom Servo: Have.. um... oh nevermind.

"Bob..." Turbo murmured, leaning forward into the light.

Mike: Damn, they all know how to make REAL good use of that there light.

"...Now there's a face I haven't seen in a _long_ time." Now that his face was visible, it was obvious that Turbo was related to Bob.

Mike: They both look like dorks?
Bob: Hey!

The similarity in their features was unmistakable. The most striking thing about Turbo's face, however, was the scar--

Crow: It looked just like Jay Leno.

a jagged gash which stretched from above his left temple down to his chin.

Tom Servo: I think I'll listen next time Mike tells me not to run with scissors…

"This isn't a friendly visit, Turbo," Bob said, looking his brother straight in the eye.

Crow: Ya know Mike.. we really should get Jay Leno in here some time... maybe if we found some kinda hole in space and time.. I mean.. ANOTHER one.. we could go get 'em
Mike: Could work.
Bob: Jay who?

"I know. Mouse told me about everything that happened since the bomb went off."

Mike: All three minutes of it.

Bob scowled. "Which never would have happened if _you_ hadn't given the order."

Bob: Three large extra cheeses with Mushroom is way too much for one man to handle..
Crow: Now yer gettin' it.

"Do you think I _wanted_ to do that? The Council voted, and we did what had to be done."

Tom Servo: So I just sat there like a dilweed a let them do it.

Mouse suddenly interrupted. "Uhh, Bob? You may want to--"

Crow: Jump up and down and make funny noises...?
Bob: Oooooga!! WOOUMMMAMAMA! BINK! AR! Wibblbibleee....
Tom Servo: NOT YOU! Siddown!
Bob: Sorry.

"Not now, Mouse." Bob turned back to Turbo. "You could have overruled the Council's decision..."

Tom Servo: Maybe he hates his brother or something... I don't know, I sense tension in this scene.

"That Web-creature was a Class M!

Crow: You could've landed ships, built whole civilizations on it! But noooo..

I couldn't risk the safety of the entire Net just so I could save one Guardian!"
"Whaddaya mean, '_just_ one Guardian'?! I'm your BROTHER, for User's sake!!"

Bob: Not to mention well paid, got great benefits, the girls love me more than you, I know how to write, I can recite Shakespeare...
Crow: One word - Jealousy.

"That doesn't mean you're entitled to any special treatment--I thought I told you that hours ago!"

Tom Servo: Must be that memory loss thing again.. I mean.. only an hour ago?!
Bob: That's years, Tom.
Tom Servo: I know it seems like forever when you're waiting to go, but geeze...

"Er, boys--" Mouse said again, but the two Guardians were too busy arguing to listen to her.

Crow: Maybe she should just ask them right out for some...
Mike: CROW!
Crow: Nevermind...

"I HAVE JUST SPENT THE LAST 20 SECONDS STRANDED IN THE WEB BECAUSE OF YOU!!!"

Tom Servo: (Bob) "And they didn't have any tea or crumpets either! I was starving"

"IF I HADN'T BROKEN PROTOCOL TO GIVE YOU MORE TIME, YOU'D BE OFF-LINE RIGHT NOW!!!"

Crow: (Turbo) "I WOULD'VE TAKEN AWAY YOUR INTERNET ACCESS PRIVLAGES!!"

Finally, Mouse got fed up. She drew her sword...

Mike: On the white board in the corner of the room...

...and brought it down hard on the tabletop between Bob and Turbo.
CLANG!

(The ships shakes violently)
Bob: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Tom Servo: What the…?
Crow: COOL! Virtual movies!

Both Guardians immediately stopped arguing and turned toward the hacker.

Mike: They liked the little sword she drew on the white board!
Crow: T-T-T-his shaking w-w-was suppose to s-s-stop with the last s-s-scene wasn't it?
Tom Servo: I'm sure it's only t-t-tempory! Hey look! Bob's hair is slipping around! Toupee! Hah!

"If you two boys are finished, " she said coolly, "you may want to start getting ready."

Bob: Wow... hot.
Crow: Now.. actually that's just the thermostat going haywire...
Mike: T-This shaking really starting to bother me a-at this point! I think I'll go see what's u-up guys!
Crow: Gotcha Mike.
(Mike gets up and leaves while Bob and the others sit in their seat and continue shaking)

"Ready?" said Bob, "For what?"

Tom Servo: As if you don't know! You ladies man you...

Immediately, an all-too-familiar voice echoed through the chamber:

Crow: Holy cow! How'd Jim Carrey get in the building?

"WARNING, INCOMING GAME...WARNING, INCOMING GAME..."

Crow: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

@.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6..

(Mike walks out of the theater and on deck where Gypsy is steering the SOL around insanely. The whole ship is shaking all over the place)

Mike: GYPSY! What's going on?!

Gypsy: Oh hi Mike! Nothing serious.. we're just being flung around this swirly thing, and I can't seem to find the way out...

Mike: Maybe you should stop and ask for directions?

Gypsy: Hey Mike, that's a good idea! I'm surprised you of all people would even suggest such a thing..

(They screech to a stop, and look onto one of the hex field view-screens. Mrs. Pearl Forresters face is looking back at them)

Pearl: Hello Mike, Hello Gypsy. How're you two doing today?

Mike: Oh hey Pearl, we're doing fine. We just need directions out of this storm.

Pearl: Oh.. well.. I'm sorry Mike, but you know I can't do that. Evil rules and all.. sorry..

Mike: Okay.. How's big blue tin can dude doing by the way? Uh.. what's your name again?

Pearl: Oh, that's my newest partner, Megabyte. He's doing fine so far. He's helping me pick the horrible stories I'm going to send you from now own.

Mike: Megabyte! Yes, that's it, hi!

Megabyte: (Waves timidly) Indeed. Hello.

Pearl: Yes.. anyways.. I left Brain Guy and Bobo on ancient Earth at some point.. since Megabyte's all the man I need...

Megabyte: It's strictly a professional relationship. Really.

Mike: Ohhhhhhh kay. Anyways, maybe you could just zap the ship with something big and knock us outta the swirly thing? I mean.. that'd be kinda evil too wouldn't it..?

Pearl: Oh sure, I can do that Mike.. no problem...

*CRASH* (Suddenly the whole ship spins around and Mike falls over, arms frailing wildly. As the ship steadies itself Mike gets up, shaking dust off himself)

Mike: Hey! Thanks Pearl!

Pearl: No problem Mike.. oh, and BTW.. I just want to say that, the story you're watching now, is kinda cut off at the end, so the whole thing isn't there or anything.. I hope that isn't too much of a problem...

Mike: Oh, no.. no problem..

Pearl: I could send you another movie if you wanted..

Mike: Oh no Pearl. No. You don't need to do that.. this one's fine.

Pearl: Alright, I'll probably do it anyway, being evil and all. See ya Mike, and remember... I hate your guts, I'll get you later, the world will be mine.. yadda yadda yadda.. you know the drill.

Mike (Chuckling): I know, I know. Ya, see then Pearl!

(Mike turns the hex-field viewscreen off and turns to Gypsy)

Mike: Ah.. nice girl that Pearl.. a few problems.. but nice..

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