In the not-too-distant future --
Somewhere in Cyberspace. --
Guardian Bob and his new found pals
Are caught in an endless chase
Pursued by a woman who's name is Pearl
An evil gal who wants to rule the world
Teamed up with the virus Megabyte
Together they chase them - all throughout the day and night.
(We'll get yoooouuuuuu!)
"We'll send them cheesy stories
The worst we can find (La La La)
Written by the fans of ReBoot
Who have way too much free time (La La La)"
Now keep in mind the guys can't control
Where the stories begin or flow (La La La)
They'll try to keep their sanity
Despite the lame stories and some cheap cameo's
Robot Role Call!
Cambot (How z'it look?)
Gypsy (Makeup here!)
Tom Servo (More gum please.)
Crooooow! (It hurts!)
If you're wondering how this happened
'Cause this plot's all out of whack (La La La)
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a crossover
I should really just relax!"
For...
Mystery ReBoot Theater 4000!
Written
by Jerry The Cow
(SOL)
(The entire crew is in the middle of a game of Truth Or Dare. Crow is
calmly explaining the rules to Mike for the umpteenth time)
MIKE: So, since I picked "dare", I have to do whatever you tell me to?
CROW: Exactly!
MIKE: Well... OK, you’re the expert, but I still don’t see why I have to go seven times in a row...
TOM: Just trust us on this one, Mike.
(MAD lights flash)
MIKE: Oh! Hack and Slash are calling!
BOB: Rats, I had a good one for him too...
(Widowmaker)
PEARL: Right down to business today, eh folks? No interruptions this time, I assume?
(SOL)
(Everyone is setting up their musical instruments from last episode, where
they performed a song as the rock band "Eternal Purgatory")
MIKE: Well, actually-
(Widowmaker)
MEGABYTE: Oh no, not again!
(SOL)
TOM: No, we really think you guys’ll like this one. It’s another one from our indefinitely postponed album "Collective SOL".
(Widowmaker)
PEARL: (monotone) Lovely... But would you make it quick?
(SOL)
(But the "Band" has already begun. Once again. Mike is singing, Bob and
Crow are on the guitars, and Tom takes the drums. Cambot cuts in and out,
as the picture flashes like a bad music video. Bob begins to play the familiar
opening riff of "December")
MIKE: (singing) Why spend time here on the S-O-L?
Outrageous and annoyed as hell
Just tilt this thing towards our home.
Come on MADs, throw us a bone!
(The others join in)
ALL: (singing) So we scream about
We think aloud
Come on, Pearl, now baby
Just let us out!
We worry 'bout
We live in doubt
Come on, Pearl, now baby
Just let us out!
MIKE: (singing) We feel more lost than dogs in a pound
Guinea pigs you swear we are.
Don't throw away our basic needs,
Entertainment and sanity!
ALL: (singing) So we scream about
We think aloud
Come on, Pearl, now baby
Just let us out!
We worry 'bout
We live in doubt
Come on, Pearl, now baby
Just let us out!
(Mike sings a solo while the others repeat the chorus)
November ratings are getting to me!
November whispers of bribery!
November's Sweeps Month and we're gettin' scared
Nobody loves us, we'll be off the air!
(Eternal Purgatory end the song with a crashing drum beat)
MIKE: (Grinning proudly) How was that one, sirs?
(Widowmaker)
PEARL: Mike... You know where I think you maggots should shove those instruments?
MEGABYTE: Well, actually Miss Forrester, they ARE rather good...
PEARL: Shaddup!
BOBO: (Humming a few bars, only to receive a cold stare from Brain Guy)
OBSERVER: First of all, last time I checked, November was NOT Sweeps Month, television as you know it was destroyed along with Earth, MIKE. (frowns) And another thing... that tune sounded awfully familiar...
(SOL)
(The crew have removed their instruments, and slumped down in front of
the Hex-Field)
MIKE: Well, congratulations. You’ve brought MY spirits to an all time low.
BOB: Mine too.
CROW: Thanks a lot, you pansies...
(Widowmaker)
MEGABYTE: Well, friends, I’m dreadfully pleased to inform you that it gets worse.
PEARL: Your foul-smelling, stomach-churning experiment today is a classic little disaster by Silver Tiger, ironically titled "Worlds Beyond". With any luck, you’ll be wishing you were worlds away, very shortly!
MEGABYTE: Oh, but first, to get you in the gaming mood, we’ve picked out a little ad from some backwater little Quake tournament put together by a bunch of amateurs with too much free time. Enjoy!
(SOL)
(Lights flash. Panic)
ALL: Ahhhhhhh! We got movie siiign!
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