(Front view of the guys.)

Mike: Welcome back to the MRT4K URA Preview Special.

Servo: Up next, the part of the show where we all have to pretend Jerry the Cow isn't going to win it -- Best Fanfic.

Crow: It happens all the time. People find a TV show they enjoy. They obsess over it. It becomes their life. And then, suddenly, some big-shot executive replaces it with an infomercial for a suntan peanut butter or something. The fans become restless. They need to think that, in some alternate universe out there somewhere, their favorite characters are still having all sorts of wacky adventures to please them. Enter Fan Fiction.

Servo: Of course, as our readers know, it doesn't always work out too well, but every once in a while, you'll find someone who can write for the characters almost as well as the original writers. And that's what this part of the show is all about.

Bob: Our first story takes a guess at how little Enzo and big Enzo will react to living with each other: Dan Green's "Abort, Retry, Fail".

Crow: We join our heroes as the system reboot finishes up and Enzo asks the question that's been plaguing us all --

(Shadowrama)

"Hey! Who's the big ugly green guy?"

Bob: He's in for a shock.

The ebullient celebration crashed to a screaming halt,

(The bots make various car crashing noises.)

Servo: Four died, thirty-seven were injured.

the smiles and hugs giving way to a sea of blank stares - and no stare more blank than Bob's,

Crow: There's a surprise.

trapped beneath the grinning one meg sprite on his chest. Phong, thinking quickly as ever, hurriedly snapped a picture of the two of them.

Bob: (Phong) The tabloids will pay handsomely for this!

"Hey - I asked who the big ugly guy was!" Little Enzo repeated impatiently,

Mike: (Enzo) Who do you have to tackle to get an answer around here?

a hint of irritation creeping into his voice as his grin snaked into a thoughtful sneer. One thing was clear -

Servo: Someone was going to have to write a story about this.

the boy, as ever, hated to be ignored.

"Uh..." Dot stammered, glancing desperately at Matrix.

Crow: (Dot) Why couldn't you have just changed your icon back?

The hulking sprite was too stunned even to offer that much response.

Bob: (Matrix) I KNEW this whole thing was too good to be true.

"Uh..." Bob added helpfully.

Mike: Oh. That clears things up.

Phong glanced down at the icon in his hand, a frown creasing his brow.

Bob: (Phong) Something's wrong. . . but what?

The wisdom that had allowed him to reach the ripe old age of four days told that this was a crucial moment - whatever words were used to explain the incredible situation to Enzo would carry a huge weight -

Servo: Man, and you thought telling your kids where babies come from was hard.

for many long seconds. It was not a decision to be taken lightly, in the flush of the moment -

Crow: (Hexadecimal) Oh he's just an older version of you!
Servo: (Phong) D'oh!

thoughtful consideration was needed, and time needed to be bought.

"Well, Sugar... He's-" Mouse began hesitantly.

Crow: The Green Giant.
Mike: The Savage Dragon.
Servo: A radioactive Mr. Clean with hair implants.

"Ah yes, young Enzo." Phong interrupted, casting a pointed glance at the hacker.

Bob: (Mouse) OW! My eye!

"You are looking upon Matrix, the Renegade. He has come from the net to help us in defending Mainframe. Isn't that right, young Matrix?"

Bob: (Matrix) What are you talking about?

"Uh..." the big man whispered hesitantly.

"Of course, of course you are.

Servo: (Phong) C'mon, work with me, I'm dying out here. . .

Introduce yourself to our young friend, my child."

Mike: Yes. Introduce yourself to the child who isn't you.

"Alphanumeric!" the boy gasped, springing lithely off of Bob's chest and leaping to Matrix' side, staring up at his grizzled face. "Are you really from the net?"

"Um... sure, I guess so..."

Crow: Whatever.

"Well, I'm Enzo. Enzo Matrix! Pleased to meetcha!

Crow: (Enzo) Wow! Your first name is the same as my last name! Isn't that a weird coincidence?
Tom: (Matrix) Er...I guess.
Crow: (Enzo) And you're green too!
Tom: (Matrix) Uh, yeah.
Crow: (Enzo) And you have purple eyes and black hair! We're not related are we?
Tom: (Matrix) 'Course not.

I'm gonna be a guardian someday - Bob says so!" the little sprite said proudly, pointing at his chest.

Servo: (Enzo) See? That's a guardian chest.

He extended his hand to the his bearded doppelganger, who took it gingerly in his own.

"I - You - Maybe you will..." Matrix whispered. "Pleased to meet you too - I think..."

Mike: (Matrix) Man, I just know he's going to get my action figure collection.

He looked helplessly at AndrAIa, who shrugged and squeezed his arm.

"D'you remember me, Sugar?" Mouse grinned at the boy.

Crow: (Enzo) AAH! A VAMPIRE!

"It's a right pleasure to see yer face again!

"Um - do I know you?" Enzo frowned.

"No - I guess not - but you will, Sugar!"

Servo: (Enzo) Is that a threat?

Mouse chuckled with a wink at Phong.

"You don't know me either, I don't think." AndrAIa interjected softly, looking down at the little sprite with an awed smile and lightly brushing his cheek.

Bob: (Enzo) Ow! (Thump)
Mike: (AndrAIa) I've gotta remember to watch those spines.

It was all a little much for her - she wasn't sure just what her emotions were. "I'm AndrAIa."

"Dude!" Enzo whispered, noticing the game sprite - and her costume - for the first time.

Mike: (Enzo) Swimsuits Illustrated is filming HERE?

He stared at her, mouth hanging open in shock.

(Front view)

Servo: And wackiness ensues. What's next?

Bob: Let's see. . . Our next clip comes from "Viroid Mary", by Slack. A tale of how Mainframe must deal with a strange infection, this story stands out because of its impressively accurate use of Hexadecimal in a post-Season 3 story.

Mike: We join the story as Bob makes a futile attempt to teach Hex to keep herself under control.

(Shadowrama)

Mainframe had several unusual assets in its team.

Crow: A Mr. Mime, a Magmar, an Electabuzz. . .

They included a hacker, a next generation web surfer, a game Sprite who could function outside of games,

Servo: A Long Neck, a Spike Tail, a Swimmer, a Flier. . .

and - strangest of all - a tame Virus. "Tame" in the sense that she was no longer an enemy of the system. However, Hexadecimal was still a Virus, and would always be chaotic; it was an unalterable part of her code.

Mike: You can take the virus out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of the virus.

She could at least be taught how to function as a Sprite.

Bob: A vengeful, homicidal Sprite, but still. . .

In theory, anyway. And since the one person she would listen to was Bob,

Bob: I could use her in my plan to rule the Net!
Servo: You know, it's really weird when you say stuff like that.

orientation duty fell on his shoulders. He didn't object; he felt a sense of pride at having been able to reformat an enemy into an ally, even a friend. But she was still... well,

Servo: Insane.

difficult to handle.

Now that she no longer had enemies to fight or nulls to command, Hexadecimal was restless. He would have to find a way to keep her and her transfinite energy occupied, or things could get messy.

Crow: Fortunately, he found she had a deep love of crossword puzzles!

But first she needed to learn the basics of life in Mainframe.

Mike: (Bob) Now Hex, this is a door. You just pull to open.
Tom: (Hex) Like this?
Mike: (Bob) Er-I meant pull the door.
Tom: (Hex) Aww.

Hexadecimal was floating above the floor of her throne dais, in the cavernous tower of her Lair in Lost Angles. It was the one place left completely untouched by the system restoration

Bob: And suburban development.

- since it was not part of Mainframe, but the remains of the Twin City, the crash and restoration had not reached it.

"I'd have thought something would have happened here," she said with a sweeping gesture. "Everything's just the same." She sounded bitterly disappointed.

Servo: (Hexadecimal) They could have at least fixed the toilet upstairs.

"You could always redecorate," Bob suggested with a shrug.

She whirled to face him. "What a perfect idea!" she enthused. She tapped a clawed finger against her lips, considering, then said "I'll need the system paint program, of course."

Crow: (Hexadecimal) And three bags of cats.

"I'll ask Phong to give you access to it."

"Oh, no need to bother him about it." She waved dismissively. "I can do that myself."

Bob: Oh, well, that's nice of -- what the -- hey!

"No!"

"No?"

He sighed. "No. No breaking into the system. Ever.

Mike: (Hexadecimal) Oops. Excuse me, I have to return a few drivers.

I'll get things straightened out without that."

Hexadecimal pouted. "What fun is that?"

As happened so often, Bob did not know what to say.

(Crow and Tom laugh.)

Crow: Hey, they got Hex and Bob's characters right!

How do you explain right and wrong to someone with near-unlimited power and lacking the moral sense that the User programmed in a null?

Servo: Very, very carefully.

The best he could do was take things in manageable chunks, one at a time, and hope for the best.

Bob: Okay, one more time: I will not light people's hair on fire.
Servo: (Hexadecimal, bored) I will not light people's hair on fire.
Bob: Good, I think we made a lot of progress today.

He noticed something. "Hex, where's your icon?"

She opened a hand. With a small flash of energy the disc appeared in her palm. "Here."

Mike: That's nothing. My uncle used to pull quarters out of my ear.

"You need to keep that on you at all times. It contains everything about you. If anyone else got it, they could control you!"

She smiled a predatory smile. "I'd like to see someone TRY."

Crow: (Hexadecimal) Like when I was Megabyte's slave. That was a lot of fun.

But she pinned it on her bustier.

"The icon does more than store your personal codes.

Mike: It's also a watch and a calculator in one!

You also use it to reboot if you're caught in a game, and change your clothing protocol."

Servo: Now how much would you pay?

She looked down at her icon. "Clothing protocol?" she said curiously, and tapped it once.

(The guys scream.)

Bob looked away, his face blushing a warm purple. "You don't have any alternate protocols specified yet, Hex. Just tap it again to put your clothes back on."

Servo: Is it over yet? Can I look?

She smiled mischievously. He was so cute when he was embarrassed! She leaned forward and flicked his icon.

(The guys scream again.)

"Hex!" he yelped and tapped his icon quickly, restoring his clothing. "Your OWN icon!"

Bob: C'mon! You wanna get BS'n'P on our back again?

She grinned approvingly at him. "Not bad, Guardian."

(Front view)

Crow: Ah, nudity. Next up is a story from Silver Tiger, who has been nominated for best author. Ladies and Gentlemen, we bring you "Pain".

Servo: And with a name like that, you know it's going to be either really psychological or really melodramatic.

Bob: Possibly both.

Mike: Anyhow, we've selected a chunk of the beginning to read. Let's watch.

(Shadowrama)

Megabyte sat back in his throne.

Servo: (Megabyte) Man, all that conquering really took it out of me. Think I'll spend the night in front of the tube.

He surveyed the tapestries hanging from the Principal Office, the viral symbols painted and etched into the walls.

Mike: (Megabyte) Well, I don't know art, but I know what I like. . . heh heh. . .

Mainframe. All of it converted. All of it...

Crow: Dipped in chocolate!

his.

Bob: Silver Tiger. . . isn't she that big Megabyte fan?
Servo: Yep.
Bob: (glowering) Figures.

It was wonderful.

He pressed a button and a vid-window popped up. A binome saluted.

"Do go and see if our "guest" has woken up, will you? I'd like to chat a bit."

Mike: (Megabyte) Well, maybe a little torture too. We'll see how it goes.

"At once Lord Megabyte!"

He drummed his fingers idly on his throne.

Crow: (Megabyte) Well, if my prisoner is thirty minutes late, the next one's free!

The vid-window re-appeared. A sprite standing outside a prison cell appeared, flanked by guards. The sprite glowered.

"What do *you* want?" it asked.

Servo: Oh no! He captured Santa Claus!
Bob: (Megabyte) I want a Red Rider BB gun, and an erector set, and Pokemon Yellow, and a pony.

"Hello Dot." Said Megabyte, smiling brightly.
 

* * *

Dot stood in the secret exit. Mouse had yanked her into the tunnel, then left quickly to take care of the binomes.

Crow: (Binome) I'm hungry!
Bob: (Binome) I need to go to the bathroom!
Mike: (Binome) Can we bring our luggage with us?
Servo: (Binome) What does THIS button do?
Crow: (Dot) Thanks a lot, Mouse.

Hack and Slash hovered around her, worried.

"Dot? Please, c'mon Dot!" wailed Slash.

"Yeah, we need to go!" added Hack.

Mike: (Dot) Look, I asked you before we left!

"I-need to do something first." She said, looking down.

"What?"

"Yeah, what?"

Servo: (Dot) Hack...Slash...you know, ever since Bob left...

"Just...I have to watch. I need to know what-what that BASTARD is going to do!"

Bob: (Dot) I have to stand idly by and watch Megabyte attack! It'll make me feel better!

she raised her eyes and Hack and Slash backed away a bit. "This is my system!

Crow: (Dot) I paid $1 900 for this PC!

And Phong is like a father to me! I need to find out what happens. I need to KNOW! Otherwise I'm going to think of this every night..."

Servo: So....did we miss an important bit before this?
Mike: (Scanning the fic) No...this is from the first part.

Hack and Slash stood there, unsure of what to do.

Bob: Like that's a first.

"Go back to Mouse. I'll be along in a while. I'll be able to catch up, don't worry."

"But Phong said-"

"That's an ORDER soldier!"

Servo: Dot's famous "Patton" impersonation.

she snapped out in her commander voice. Automatically Hack and Slash saluted and left. Dot shook her head, a bit ashamed at fooling them, and hurried down a corridor that led to an invisible observation point.

Mike: (Dot) Let's see, invisible observation point, invisible observation point...I don't see it around here anywhe-uh oh.

She closed the door behind her, just in case.

The small room allowed her to look out through a window and hear what was happening, without anyone outside being able to see HER.

Crow: It sounds really neat until you realize it's just a security camera.

It was supposed to be used for experiments,

Servo: So, assuming this is taking place in the Principal Office room that Megabyte is just about to break into she's saying they used to perform hazardous experiments INSIDE the control room filled with delicate equipment.
Crow: I bet that's just really a janitor's closet she's hiding in.

but Megabyte's attack had forced her to convert it for war.

With tears in her eyes, Dot watched the door buckle. She winced as each blow

Mike: Was costing them 500 credits.
Crow: (Dot) Does he have any IDEA how much that thing cost?! We just finished the down payments!

brought the small, sad sprite standing by the door closer to his doom.

"Oh Phong..." she whispered.

Mike: (Dot) You still owed me five dollars...

Her eyes widened as the doors almost exploded inwards. Megabyte stood there shining, outlined against the light, panting slightly.

Crow: (Megabyte) Take THAT door!

He laughed softly, then extended his claws with a *shing* sound. Phong backed away a bit. Megabyte simply strode forward and picked up Phong by the neck.

Bob: Oh geeze, she's not going to-

Dot's eyes widened as he brought his claws forward in a sweeping motion and-

-the rattle of a body hitting the floor, the clink of a head being tossed into a containment unit,

Bob: Well okay. That was fairly tasteful. Considering what she COULD have written.

the soft, half-maniacal laughter filling the room as the virus shut the defenses down-

Crow: BOOM.
Mike: (Megabyte) Wait, did I tell my forces to stop attacking?
Crow: BLAM!
Mike: (Megabyte) Oh no.

Dot buried her face in her hands for a second. When she looked up, the virus stood in the center of the chamber.

Servo: (Megabyte) Well, that's that. Time to see what's on the telly.

"Finally, after all this time," he breathed, looking around in ecstasy, "finally *mine*..."with a rapture filled look, Megabyte slowly walked over to an important looking console and laughed outloud.

Bob: (Megabyte) The Gameboy emulator! Muahaha! Now NONE shall oppose me!

Dot fled.

* * *

Hack and Slash finished stripping

Crow: Resistjokeresistjoke, maintain level of dignity for awards, resist joke..

the building

Crow: Phew.
Mike: We're proud of you Crow.

of all its valuable equipment. They stood inside an abandoned science lab.

Servo: Hey, it's where they used to film "Beakman's World"!

They had been raiding several places for Dot, who needed to upgrade the guard cannons.

Crow: Unfortunately, they were raiding toy stores.

Hack picked up the last box.

"Well, that's it then" he said.

"Let us leave now." Slash replied nervously.

Bob: (Slash) Before Deedee shows up.

"I really don't want Megabyte to catch us here."

"Oh, I believe it's a bit too late for that." Remarked a voice.

Hack and Slash whirled around to see fifteen binomes pointing various weapons at them.

Crow: (Hack) Is that a BANANA?
Servo: (Binome) Well...all the good ones were taken.

Megabyte's vid-window floated in the air behind them. He narrowed his eyes in interest.

"Well well. Still functioning, are you? How-convenient." He leaned forward. "Bring them to me. Now."

Bob: (Hack) I TOLD you forming a union was a bad idea.

(Front view)

Crow: Well maybe it gets better. What's next?

Bob: Well, it looks like we've found out why Al's Waiter takes so long to serve the customers; he's been sneaking off to write fanfics! "An Eye For An Eye" takes place between "Game Over" and "Icons" and it tells the story of how Enzo got his new eye and how they both got some new clothes.

Mike: It also introduces Rom, a Guardian who babysits the lost sprites during their stay in Power Grid. Here, he takes them out to eat.

(Shadowrama)

Fast food... Enzo frowned.

Crow: (Enzo) I wonder if I'm too big for a happy meal.

He was very hungry, he couldnít cancel that feeling, but the thought of eating fast food in anywhere besides Dotís Diner almost made him lose his appetite,

Servo: Man, you have one bad experience at a Jack-In-The-Box. . .

But he nodded and smiled at Rom. He felt so homesick for Mainframe, and its seemed as far away. Would he ever see it again?

Bob: Would they catch AndrAIa's evil twin sister in time? And what about the stolen treasure map?

Then Dot's voice popped into his head.

Mike: (Dot) Use the Force, Enzo. . .

'Uh-uh, Enzo. Delete that thought!'

Crow: (Dot) Forget about it. You're never coming back!

She had said this when he had been the only Guardian of Mainframe, and thought he was much too young to defend the city. Later, after proving himself in the Game 'Malicious Corpses', Dot was willing to give him a chance.

Servo: Previously on ReBoot.

She had encouraged him to do his best and to very work hard. She believed in me, I can do no less.

At that finishing thought, Enzo managed a small smile and looked at AndrAIa. She was smiling and talking to Rom about Power Grid, finding out new information that might be useful to them.

Bob: Where the good movie theaters were, how to get past security at the energy stations. . .

Enzo looked at the young Guardian, who was trying to answer AndrAIaís eager questions. He reminded Enzo of Bob in many ways: he was caring, friendly, brave,

Crow: Dopey, Bashful, Doc. . .

and very willing to go out of his way for others. Enzo had admired all of those formats in Bob and now in Rom. Then, Enzo thought. Were all Guardians like that? Even thought Enzo didnít consider himself a Guardian but still had the Guardian protocol, would he be like that?

Bob: Hmmm. . . no.

Would it automatically come or would he have to work at trying to be that way?

Servo: Or would he turn into a gun-toting rebel who doesn't care about anything?

The four walked up to a small store with the label 'Fastie Mart' on it.

(Chuckles from the guys.)

Crow: I hope Apu shows up.

Frisket stayed outside while the other three walked in.

It was a small, square store with rows of shelves full of packaged energy-bars, power-drinks, energy-biscuits, milk,

Mike: Energy milk.

power-silicon chips

Servo: Power cookies, energy jelly, hyper baseball cards, and photon chewing gum.

and there were racks full of read-me files on any and every topic imaginable,

Bob: How to wrestle clams, aisle 4.
Crow: Why do people breathe, aisle 17.
Mike: Is there enough pudding in my shoes, aisle 64.
Servo: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, aisle 584.

from the latest Sprite Fashions, to comic bytes, Latest Software and Hardware and Newest and Deadliest Games

Mike: The new Fox special.

straight from the Supercomputer. Enzo and AndrAIa looked around them with their mouths and eyes opened wide. Neither of them had seen a place like this ever.

Servo: Yes, the breathtaking magic of their first trip to a 7-11.

*~*~*

Rom smiled at the two young sprites, picked up a Game Read-Me file

Mike: (Rom) I've just got to know how to beat Gannon.

and walked up to the counter. A light blue tin robot was wiping the counter with a multicoloured ripped flag.

Crow: You know, I think people will over-react to that line enough without us saying anything else.

"Hey, WNF! Howís business today?" Rom asked smiling.

WNF looked at Rom and replied in a monotone "Cannot find ĎSuccessí file."

Rom laughed. "That bad, huh?

Bob: (Rom) It's funny that your business is a failure!

Listen, can I have three energy-squashies please? Oh, and some dog chow too. I have three hungry visitors." He said leaning over the counter.

Crow: (Rom, low voice) And, uh. . . one package of condoms.

*~*~*

The blue robot moved extremely slowly, reminding Enzo of Alís Diner in Level 31 of Mainframe. Enzo decided that Al moved faster than WNF.

Servo: Yeah, he's just sucking up to Al 'cause he works for him.
Mike: Al's waiter, huh?

Finally what seemed to be like micro-seconds, WNF had filled out Romís order and was adding it up on a calculator.

"4 1/2 units" WNF said in the same recorded voice Enzo had heard earlier.

Bob: What's a half of a unit?
Crow: Well, assuming our author assumed a 1:1 exchange from unit to the dollar of his respective country, I'd say fifty cents.
Bob: No, see, the unit is the smallest unit of currency; that's why it's called a unit.
Servo: Really? What about Mike the TV and his "9999.99" thing?
Mike: Guys? Not the time or place, okay?
(The others mutter apologies.)

Rom opened his wallet, brought out the change, picked up the bag and headed for the output.

Enzo quickly walked up to the robot and asked, "What does WNF stand for anyways?"

The robot slowly lifted his head. "Windows Ninety...."

"Warning.......Incoming Game Warning........Incoming Game."

Crow: Huh?
Servo: Wait! NO!!
Bob: Now we'll never know what WNF stands for!
Mike: This is going to keep me up at night. . .

(Front view)

Crow: Ah, lovely. We close up our show with a peek at our personal pick for Best Fanfic, Jerry The Cow's epic season 3 re-write/season 4 prediction "The Grid Run."

Bob: We don't want to give anything away for the fourteen unfortunate souls who have yet to read it, so we're just going to take a quick look at the title character's arrival in Mainframe. So put yourself somewhere in the mind of the middle of "Web World Wars", and get ready for a wild ride.

(Shadowrama)

Beneath the aerial confusion, Principle Office ground-gunners picked out any targets that came their way. One of them, a zero binome who boasted several kills already,

Servo: Uh, CPUs don't count, friend.

caught another attack drone in his sights. It was flying a kamikaze towards him. The gunner smiled at the prospect of such an easy target,

Crow: (Binome) Yay! It's trying to kill itself and take me with it!

and pulled the trigger.

*CLICK*

"'Click'?.. uh-oh." The binome shielded his face with his hands

Bob: Just like his years of training had taught him.

as the drone bore down on his position. Suddenly, the air above him rocked

Mike: Meatloaf showed up!

with the sound of rapid fire. He peeked upward through his hands at where the drone should have been. Instead, all that was left was a dark cloud of dust and vapor.

Servo: (Binome) Wow, I'm a better shot than I thought. Didn't even fire that time.

He heard a muted *plink*, and then the sound a coin makes after you spin it. He turned to his left, and saw Enzo and AndrAIa a short distance away, both giving him a smile and a thumbs-up as their weapons reloaded.

Crow: (Enzo) War is fun!

The binome sighed with relief and was hopping out of his seat to take a look at the gun, when he suddenly went head over heels as he slipped on something.

Bob: If they'd known there was going to be a war, they wouldn't have waxed the floor.

He fell to the ground with a thud. Moaning as he rolled over, he could now see that the cause of his fall and the source of the sound he had heard earlier were the same.

Mike: Meatloaf had tripped him.

A present from the drone? It was glowing and giving off a high pitched whine, but it was also... an icon?

Servo: Wait, it was just a Pog.

The binome's eyes widened as he watched in amazement and fear. He didn't know what it was doing,

Crow: Ummm, glowing and giving off a high pitched whine?

or how it had got there, but it certainly wasn't acting like any icon he'd ever seen before.

Bob: Where had it gotten the top hat from? And how did it know how to dance the Charleston?

What he did know was that it had come from the Web creature, and it was unzipping before his eyes.

Mike: Hey! None of that!

A bright flash blinded the binome, and when he could see again, he gasped. A tall, pale sprite-like creature had materialized before him; he was wearing red, loose-fitting, and slightly tattered clothing.

Servo: Ooo. . . the Red Power Ranger really hit the skids.

The stranger's grayish skin shimmered for a moment as his eyes fluttered open.

Crow: (singing) The world was moving he was. . . right there with it and he was. . .

The eyes... they were a pale blue, and impossibly clear. They gave the impression that the owner was slightly confused, and they absolutely reeked of youthful ignorance.

Bob: What does youthful ignorance smell like?
Mike: Cigarettes.

In fact, the only color about him that was not pale or dull, was his jet-black, frayed hair. Those pale eyes then shifted towards the binome,

Servo: (Figure) Oh. Are you still here?

and to the madness that was happening all about them. He opened his mouth and screamed... or at least it sounded like a scream at first.

Crow: Then he started playing St. Paul's Suite with his mouth.

It was only after a moment that the binome realized it wasn't a scream, but Binary. Just as quickly, it changed to Java, Basic, and several other obscure languages that he himself had never become fluent in.

Bob: disp "Do you speak TI-82?"
Servo: cout << "Do you speak C++?" << endl;
Crow: <font face="Arial" size=-1>Do you speak HTML?</font>
Mike: Oday ouyay peaksay Igpay Atinlay?

Then the sprite, or whatever it was, collapsed and began to flicker again. The binome, so preoccupied with this spectacle, didn't even notice a small pod soar upwards towards the Web. He also didn't notice the great beam of energy shot after it, so he didn't get to see the gateway to the Web close forever.

Servo: He also didn't notice that his head was on fire.

(Front view)

Servo: So, that's our show. We hope you found it useful in casting your vote.

Crow: Or, if the awards are over by the time you read this, then we hope you enjoyed killing your time with us.

Gypsy: (coming in) Hey guys. The rental place wants the tuxes back and. . .

(She notices Tom, who still has Bob's eyebrows stuck to his dome.)

Gypsy: Oh my. . . Tom? There's something. . . different about you.

Servo: (innocently) Oh really?

Gypsy: Yeah. . . You seem. . . dashing. . . gallant. . . noble. . .

Servo: Well, thanks, I do try to keep up on that. Heh heh.

Gypsy: Would you like to have lunch sometime or something?

Servo: Well, sure! When are you free?

Gypsy: How about right now?

Servo: Sure! Well, see you guys. (aside to Bob) Hey, thanks for the brows! Chick magnet!

Bob: Umm. . . whatever.

(Gypsy and Tom leave.)

Crow: So. . . who wants to hit the synthesizer? I got a great little program for some chicken parmesan.

Mike: (getting up to leave with Crow) Yeah, that sounds great!

(Bob looks around and makes sure everyone left. He boots back into his mime outfit and looks in the mirror thoughtfully.)

Bob: Nah.

Credits