Between A Raccoon & A Hard Place
v3.1.2

Written by: Len Wein
Story by: Gavin Blair
Ian Pearson		 Phil Mitchell

  Transcribed by: Kim McFarland

 

The wonders of Photoshop[The camera travels slowly down a darkened alley toward a poster of Enzo, crosseyed and stupid looking, with the words "Guardian Schmardian" written over him. The camera abruptly turns a corner, revealing binomes screaming and fleeing from a game cube. CPU vehicles fly overhead. The camera follows one CPU into the air, then goes toward the dome of the Principle Office.]
Enzo:
[voiceover] Phong, I tried to reach the game in time, I really did!
[Inside the Command Room, Enzo is talking to Dot and Phong.]
Dot:
We both did.
Enzo:
But Megabyte's troops blocked us at every turn! They wouldn't let us in! They-
Phong:
[interrupting] You know, Megabyte has done this once before. To Bob himself.
[Enzo looks down. Dot puts her hand on his shoulder.]
Dot:
Phong, please.
[They look up when they hear an alarm.]
System Voice:
Game over.
[AndrAIa and Mouse, then a CPU, then two binomes on platforms, look at the VidWindow in dread.]
System Voice:
The User wins.
[The camera pulls out of Enzo's mouth as he screams dramatically.]
Enzo:
NO!

[The game cube rises, leaving behind smoke and ruin. The camera pulls back to reveal Mike the TV, looking at the cube and shaking his fist at the sky.]
Mike:
[speaking theatrically into a microphone] Oh, the circuitry, the circuitry! [Turns around with one jump to face the camera] Oh, this is terrible, ladies and gentlemen! So many innocent binomes brutally nullified! Where was our Guardian when we needed him? Why have so many innocents gone-
Hack:
[interrupting] Cut!
[Mike is startled as Hack and Slash wheel into frame.]
Mike:
What?!
Slash:
Yeah! It's a wrap!
Mike:
Hey, you guys can't do this! It's a news breaking story! [into the camera] The viewers have a right to know!
Slash:
Call it voluntary censorship.
Hack:
Yeah! Huh! Or we could make it INvoluntary censorship. Freedom of the press?
Slash:
Heh heh, if you know what we mean.
[Hack sees the camera, then reaches out and covers the lens with his hand. The picture disappears into static.]
[Dot looks away from the staticky VidWindow in the Command Room.]
Dot:
I want med teams into the pit. Now!
[Two CPUs startle.]
Dot:
Come on, move, move!
[The CPUs salute and hustle away.]
Mouse:
Hold them over, sugar. Megabyte's attacking the nullified sector.
[On the map table, Phong watches as green blips in formations converge on one area.]
Phong:
Against a force of that size we cannot prevail! May the net forgive me. Raise shields.

[The camera comes down, past a building, showing an overhead view of the nullified sector. A section of the city has been decimated, cutting sharply through buildings and surface levels. Binomes walk slowly, slumped over. Several sad-faced binomes push rocks over the edge and into the pit. One, who is wearing a red outfit with pips not unlike a "Star Trek: The Next Generation" uniform, picks up a blue Guardian bear and looks at it sadly. Then, hearing a ship flying overhead, he looks up in alarm. The sky is now filled with ABCs, and Hack and Slash are right overhead. A VidWindow showing Megabyte pwings open.]
Megabyte:
Effective as of now, this sector is under my control. You will surrender your PIDs and swear loyalty to me, or pay the penalty. Hi, Nameless Redshirt. Bye, Nameless redshirt.
[Other binomes look, startled, at the Trek Binome as he speaks defiantly.]
Trek Binome:
[theatrically] Surrender our PIDs to you? We're tired of living in fear! The line must be drawn here!
Megabyte:
Yes. [to someone offscreen] Delete him.
[An ABC flies close and aims its guns. The Trek Binome raises his hands and gasps, terrified. The ABC shoots green rays. Hack and Slash draw back, shocked, then look at Megabyte fearfully. As Megabyte speaks, the remaining binomes stare in horror at the smoking boots and icon that are all that remain of the Trek Binome.]
Megabyte:
As you may have noticed, resistance is futile. Anyone else have a problem with that?
[The binomes cower together. Four hands hold icons up to the VidWindow.]
Megabyte:
Excellent!
[Megabyte laughs as the scene fades to wreckage. The camera pans across a wall on which "We need protectors not pretenders" is written. Right next to it is another poster of Enzo, with a circle-slash around him and "DEEDS not DUDS" written around it. Cyrus is putting up another "Guardian Schmardian" poster. He looks around, smirking, then skulks away. The camera viewpoint pulls out, revealing that it is now seen through a VidWindow.]
Dot:
Cyrus.
Enzo:
What's he doing, Dot?
Dot:
Megabyte's using one of his spies to try and turn Mainframe against you.
Enzo:
What for?
Mouse:
Propaganda. Divide and conquer. It's a cheap shot - Megabyte to a T.
Phong:
[wheeling from behind the map table] So be it. We must fight fire with fire. We must make Enzo a living icon for the citizens of Mainframe. [Music swells in the background as he speaks more and more theatrically, getting quite carried away.] The User must *not* win another game! Enzo must be seen to become a game hero! A hero who will inspire hope! A light to lead them out of the darkness! A beacon-]
[The music falters as Dot interrupts Phong.]
Dot:
Wait. What you're suggesting is that Enzo takes on the User - alone?!
Enzo:
Dot, you gotta remember, I'm a Guardian! And I've been in dozens of games!
Dot:
Yeah, with Bob or me along!
AndrAIa:
Let me go with him! I'm a game sprite, a warrior! I- Samurai Babysitter
Dot:
[interrupting] No!
Mouse:
Look, Dot, got to face facts. Mainframe needs ya here to take care of Megabyte. [She lays a hand on Enzo's shoulder.] I'll look after the little darlin's.
Dot:
[surprised] You'll go into the games?
Phong:
Wait! Mouse and AndrAIa's icons are not formatted to reboot. If they enter a game, they will be trapped.
Mouse:
I've got that one covered, sugah. All I need is a workstation - and [pointing at Enzo's icon] that.

[Enzo and AndrAIa watch, fascinated, as his icon is raised on a gripper. Another gripper moves AndrAIa's icon close to it, its sparkling backside facing the backside of Enzo's.]
Mouse:
Hacked in... [she types at a keyboard] Downloading... now. Cheap SPFX
[She presses one key. A thread of blue light links the icons. Swells move from Enzo's icon to AndrAIa's. When it stops the triangle retracts into AndrAIa's icon. The top half of the diamond bearing the AI logo folds down. The top half of the diamond is now black and the bottom half white. The diamond shrinks slightly and the blue background circle fades to black and white. Her icon now looks like any other Sprite's icon.]
Enzo:
Cool!
[Still typing with one hand, Mouse reaches over and takes the icon with the other. She lays it in AndrAIa's hands.]
AndrAIa:
[gratefully] Thank you, Mouse! Does this mean I can reboot like Enzo?
Mouse:
I hope so, sweetie. Just remember, it's untested. We got no way a' knowin' if they'll work for either of us.
Enzo:
Are you sure about this, AndrAIa?
AndrAIa:
I've never been more sure of anything.
Mouse:
You know Megabyte will try to stop us.
Enzo:
Hey, a Guardian's gotta do what a Guardian's gotta do. Anyway, Dot'll think of something. She always does. Where's the entrance to the hidden level again?
[The camera fades to Dot's face. She's concentrating hard. It pulls back to show her typing at a workstation, with Phong watching.]
Phong:
And you really think this will work?
Dot:
It's such a simple plan, now can it fail?
Phong:
Well...
Dot:
Look, we don't have time to get fancy. It'll work. Trust me. [She smiles and bats her lashes.]
Phong:
[looking away and touching his chin] Hmmm.
[Phong starts toward the door, then stops and turns when Dot speaks.]
Dot:
You know, Phong, I've been thinking. With the ports to the Net closed and locked, Megabyte can't even attempt to get to the Supercomputer.
Phong:
Correct, my child. [He brings his hands up and holds his fingers across his face like metal bars.] I'm afraid Bob has effectively locked us in the cage with the tiger. Local anesthesia
[Phong's face fades into Megabyte's. The camera pulls away, revealing that Herr Doktor is working on Megabyte's forearm control panel. He taps on the buttons, then wiggles it. A VidWindow showing Lieutenant Chauncy opens. Both look at it.]
Chauncy:
[saluting] Megabyte, sir! All troops are positioned and ready for the next game! The Guardian shall not pass!
Megabyte:
Excellent! But remember, do not harm the boy, just stop him. He's far more useful to me alive - for the moment. Make sure his humiliation is total. I want the masses to wallow in his ineffectiveness.
Chauncy:
[saluting] Understood, sir! We will not fail you!
Megabyte:
For your sake, you'd better not.
[Chauncy swallows nervously. Then he looks up when the System Voice speaks.]
System Voice:
Warning, incoming game. Warning, incoming game.
[Chauncy looks at another viral, who is looking at a control panel. Megabyte speaks from a VidWindow.]
Megabyte:
Excellent. Ha ha, as if on cue.
[Megabyte turns away, and the VidWindow disappears. Behind it is what looks like a radar display, showing two dots heading in parallel courses.]
Viral:
Scanners are picking up two signals leaving the Principle Office. Report coming in... [excitedly] Visual confirmation! It's Dot and Enzo!
Chauncy:
Let's go! All squadrons! Can everyone hear me in the back?
[Chauncy pulls back on the steering controls. A formation of ABCs heads toward the incoming game. The game cube begins to descend from the sky. Dot and Enzo fly from the shielded Principle Office. An ABC flies into their path, blocking them.
Chauncy:
[through the ABC's loudspeaker] Stop! Or face deletion! Now, put your hands up!
[False fronts of Dot and Enzo fall, revealing trembling binomes on zip boards with their hands in the air.]
Chauncy:
What the-
Viral:
Sir! I have a lock on another set of Sprites!
[He looks over when he heard a beeping. His control panel shows more pairs of dots, then a whole swarm, converging on the center of the screen.] I shall call them 'Many-Me'
Viral:
I've got another two... and another! And another! Sir, the whole sky is filled with Dots and Enzos!
[Chauncy pops up through the top hatch of his ABC. Pairs of Dot and Enzo images are flying all about. Three swoop by the camera, dropping the false fronts, revealing them to be Enzo, AndrAIa, and Mouse. They fly toward the descending cube. AndrAIa wobbles on her zip board.]
AndrAIa:
Help! Mouse, I'm losing power!
[Mouse flies down to her. AndrAIa seizes the connecting bar of Mouse's zip board and pulls it out from under her. Mouse lands on her feet with a grunt.]
Mouse:
[shouting] AndrAIa!
AndrAIa:
[holding the zip board and calling back] Sorry, Mouse!
[The game cube comes down. Suddenly they are in a cartoony desert. It features Roadrunnerish background rock formations, cacti, a car up on a jack, and a pumping station called "Gassy Jack's". The camera pans over to Enzo and AndrAIa, who are standing on a strip of road.]
Enzo:
AndrAIa? Whe-where's Mouse?
AndrAIa:
I stopped her getting into the game.
Enzo:
But why?
AndrAIa:
Our icons are untested! There's no need for two of us to bear the risk.
Enzo:
But what about you?
AndrAIa:
I am a game sprite! If trapped, I can survive here! It was all I knew before I met you, Enzo.
Enzo:
But-
AndrAIa:
[pointing with her thumb] Better get into character, Guardian.
[A binome rebooted as an old, scruffy prospector walks up to them. Enzo touches his collar and clears his throat.]
Enzo:
We-
Prospector:
You're that young Guardian, ain't'cha? Ay, eh, them posters was right, heh! You're just a kid. [spits]
Enzo:
[discouraged] A living icon. A light to lead them out of the darkness. A hero. Thanks, Phong.

[The scene fades to the reflection of Megabyte and Herr Doktor, seen in what looks like a pool of some kind of liquid.]
Herr Doktor:
All is ready, Lord Megabyte!
Megabyte:
Then proceed.
Herr Doktor:
Throw ze svitch!
[At a control panel, Bunnyfoot pulls a switch down. Machinery pulls a translucent, milky sphere enclosed in bands of energy out of the pool. When it is fully raised the energy flares and then releases the sphere. The sphere drifts forward, out of the framework. Bunnyfoot presses a button and throws another switch. The sphere lands gently on the ground, then bursts like a bubble. The energy cloud inside dissipates, revealing Hexadecimal. The surface of her mask is cracked like the surface of an old painting, and one large, deep, starlike crack mars one cheek.]
Hexadecimal:
[woozily] Wha- what have y- have you done to me?
Megabyte:
You were all but destroyed in an explosion. We had to rebuild you - with some minor modifications.
[For the first time the camera shows Hexadecimal in her new costume - black bustier, thigh high boots, garters, swept-back crown, and a collar.] Getting used to the makeover
Hexadecimal:
[furiously] Who made me look like THIS?!
[Trembling, Herr Doktor points an Bunnyfoot, who is making strange laughing noises.]
Hexadecimal:
[screaming] I- [sweetly] like it!
[Herr Doktor sighs with relief and wipes his eyelid.]
Hexadecimal:
Well, thank you, dear brother, but I must be going. Byeee.
[She steps away ala Jackie Gleason. Megabyte, grinning, presses a button on his new forearm panel. The collar glows with green light. She pulls at it with her hands, screams in pain, and falls to the floor. As Megabyte speaks she stops shrieking, and the mask shocks her one more time.]
Megabyte:
Excellent, Herr Doktor. Now I have my dear sister's power at my command, nothing can stand before me. Mainframe will burn and Megaframe shall rise out of its ashes!
[The camera rises as Megabyte rises triumphantly, bringing Hexadecimal, who is lying on the ground, into frame. The camera rises above the Silicon Tor and pans to the sky, which turns to the cartoony sky of the game. Herr Doktor's mad, echoing laughter fades away.]

[The camera pans down on Enzo and AndrAIa. The Prospector is still confronting Enzo.]
Prospector:
Well, come on, Guardian, save us!
Enzo:
Uh... [raising his forearm] Glitch! Game stats!
Prospector:
Eh, say, what's that toy you got there, sonny?
AndrAIa:
[haughtily] It is a keytool. Only Guardians have them.
Prospector:
[jumping excitedly] Hee-hee! We're saved then! Saw Bob use his once! It was dynamite!
Enzo:
Oh, well, uh, this one's... broken. But it can tell us what the game is!
Prospector:
Great leapin' lizards, boy, can't you just use your eyes?! [pointing] Look!
Enzo:
Hmm? Something stoopid this way comes
[With a skeptical expression, Enzo looks around. Then he draws back. The sky suddenly darkens and fireworks go off behind a "Rocky the Rabid Raccoon" sign floating in the air.]
Enzo:
[discouraged] Oh.
[The prospector shakes his eyeblock. AndrAIa taps her foot.]
AndrAIa:
Guardian...
Enzo:
[pulling out of his funk] Let's do it! [He double-clicks his icon.]
Enzo & AndrAIa:
Reboot!
[The light that comes down puts AndrAIa in boots, tight faded jeans, a T-shirt, black leather vest, blonde hair, and heavy makeup. A motorcycle appears behind her. She looks down at herself.]
AndrAIa:
Pixelacious! I'm a biker babe! Hex got the better deal.
[She looks at Enzo, then bends forward, pointing and laughing. The camera pans up Enzo, starting at his oversized boots, one of which is tapping, passing his rumpled pants and red coat then pulling back to show the whole package. He is wearing a cartoony hunter's cap on his freakishly oversized, flesh-toned, bald head and holding a double-barrelled shotgun. In a word, he looks like Enzo Fudd.]
Enzo:
[dismayed] Tewwiffic for you, but wook at me!
Prospector:
Ahhh, Guardian-
Enzo:
[sarcastically] Oh, wight, I'm a Guawdian now, am I?
Prospector:
[pointing] We got company!
[A cloud of dust billows over the road in the distance. Enzo stares at it, open mouthed. Something bounces like a pinball off the stone formations and cacti in the distance, making insane noises as it ricochets closer. It stops on the road before them. It is a raccoon, which jumps around, slobbering, laughing, and smacking its lips madly. AndrAIa draws back in disgust and puts a hand to her ear. AndrAIa's face appears in place of the pupils in the Raccoon's eyes. He darts forward and kisses AndrAIa with a lawn sprinkler effect. She struggles.]
Enzo:
Unhand her, you wabid wascal you!
[Rocky drops AndrAIa.]
AndrAIa:
Ew! [coughs]
Enzo:
[raising his gun] Wet's get weady to wumble! [Enzo clicks the safety.]
[Rocky laughs and runs away, making it to the horizon in three frames. The road, which had been peeled into the air by his burst of speed, falls to the ground again.]
AndrAIa:
[on hands and knees] He's too fast! We'll never catch him!
Enzo:
[craftily] Be vewy vewy quiet. [aims the gun] I'm hunting waccoons!
[Enzo shoots. The recoil knocks him flying. The bullets ricochet off a rock. Enzo, AndrAIa, and the Prospector hit the dirt to avoid being perforated. The bullets knock one of the supports out from under the Gassy Jack's sign, which swings down and knocks a paint can off a barrel. The paint can hits the lever of the jack, which causes it to drop the car. Its wheel sends a wrench flying. The wrench tumbles in slow-motion through the air as Enzo, AndrAIa, and the Prospector watch. It lands smartly on a nut on one of the old-fashioned gas pumps, and turns it. The sale and gallons counters spin. The level of gas in the clear glass bubble atop the pump recedes. The now-empty bubble focuses the desert sun like a lens. The focal point if the light travels to a fuse, igniting it. The burning fuse loops around the sand to a handy box of fireworks. Seen from the distance, fireworks go off like mad. One flies low, following the road. A dopey-looking buzzard flies lethargically - then is struck by the rocket and turned into a cooked turkey. It looks around with its severed neck, startles, flaps what is left of its wings, then falls. Rocky is jogging down the road. He heard a "falling whistle", looks around, then looks up in time for the bird to hit him.] Something smells like chicken
Rocky:
Owie!
[Rocky dances around with the cooked bird over his head for a few seconds. When he hears an oncoming train he turns to face it. The train hits him. He grunts and moans as he is run over. From the tracks rises a white, eyeless version of Rocky's head with a pair of crossbones behind it. As harp music plays it rises into the sky and fades out.]
Enzo:
One wife down, two to go!
Prospector:
[dismissively] Mmmm... lucky shot.
Enzo:
Aw, come on!
[A raccoon head-and-crossbones sweeps across the screen, wiping to a closeup of Dot.]
Dot:
[incredulously] Then she stole your zip board?
Mouse:
That's what I said.
Dot:
You're telling me that my little brother is trapped in a game, with a game sprite?
Phong:
With a game sprite who loves him.
Dot:
What?
Phong:
AndrAIa would never do anything to hurt Enzo or any one of us. You know that, Dot.
Dot:
Then why-
Phong:
[interrupting] Time will tell. We must be ready to get them safely home when they win the game. Megabyte's forces are already in position to attack! My child, what we need is a plan.
Dot:
[sighs] I think I'm all out of plans, Phong.

Seatbelts fastened? Helmets on?

[AndrAIa is driving through the desert on her motorbike. Enzo is behind her, on the back fender, and the Prospector is sitting on the headlight. The prospector startles, then looks back.
Prospector:
He's catchin' up!
[Enzo looks back. Rocky is chasing them, smacking his lips and leaving a trail of dust behind himself.]
Enzo:
AndwAIa! Wook out!
[The raccoon passes them in a cloud of dust. Enzo peers at him, then startles. Rocky, who is driving AndrAIa's motorcycle, laughs. Enzo looks down. Seen from the side, all three look down. Now that the dust has cleared, they are riding thin air. With a few car breakdown sound effects they fall to the ground and tumble out of frame. They end up, groaning, in a heap.
Prospector:
Ohhh... [stretching his back] I'm getting too old for this sort of thing.
AndrAIa:
Oh no! [pointing] Wook! Uh, I mean, look!
[The camera comes in on a hole in the ground enclosed by barbed wire and marked with discreet arrows and wooden signs reading "TOP SECRET MISSILE SILO".]
Enzo: Bless the Acme Plot Convenience Corporation!
He's got a wocket!
[Rocky is standing on one side of the hole, laughing and jumping around. He turns one horn on an animal skull. The silo opens and a Big Freakin' Rocket pops out. Laughing, Rocky opens the skull and pushes the red button inside. He watches, tapping his fingers and slobbering, as a game voice speaks in a calm, feminine voice.] Game
Voice:
Launch in five... four... threetwooneblastoff.
[The rocket takes off. Enzo watches it rise into the sky. Rocky laughs tauntingly and dives into the silo.] Game
Voice:
Level one completed.
[The rocket rises out of the atmosphere, brakes, whips around, then blasts back downwards. Enzo, AndrAIa, and the Prospector are looking upwards.]
Enzo:
Uh-oh. I think we'we in twouble.
[PLACE COMMERCIAL HERE]
[A thread of smoke drifts to from the "top secret missile silo".]
Enzo:
We've got to get off this wevel! Wight now!
Prospector:
Now just wait a tad, boy! I'm gonna take my chances right here!
Enzo:
The wocket will cwash and dewete you!
AndrAIa:
Leave him, Enzo! We've gotta stop the User!
[The Prospector rolls his eye.]
Enzo: Ticklish
I can't weave him! I'm a Guawdian.
[AndrAIa sticks the Prospector with one of her nails. He yells, his hat spinning, then falls over.]
Enzo:
AndwAIa! What'we you doing?!
AndrAIa:
Saving him! [bending over the Prospector] You grab his feet. Okay, where're we going?
Enzo:
Uh... we go that way! A dufferent kind of Goth
[Enzo points at a cliff. Underneath it are layers of other landscapes. The rocket speeds down through clouds, then to the street. When it hits the impact jars a farm landscape. A tree shakes. The Prospector drops out of it. Enzo and AndrAIa land on their feet with grunts of effort. The Prospector groans, tries to sit up, then falls back. Two binomes dressed like the couple in the painting "American Gothic" address them.]
Gothic Man:
Gee, uh, where'd you come from?
Enzo:
[wearily] It's a wong stowy.
Gothic Woman:
[Identifiable by voice as the Fargo Binome] He's that guardian, ya. Gee, he's a bit young if you ask me, for sure.
AndrAIa:
No one is asking you.
[The American Gothic binomes look at the Prospector, who is still suffering from his great fall.]
Gothic Man:
Oh, gee, oh, what happened to him?
Enzo:
We, uh, wescued him.
Gothic Woman:
Rescued? Oh, not a lot like Bob, are ya? When Bob rescued you you stayed conscious, for sure.
Enzo:
Wisten, whewe's Wocky?
Scarecrow:
Right there!
[The camera swings over to a binome on a stick wearing a costume stuffed with straw.]
Scarecrow:
[continuing] Uh, I think. Somebody needs a clue
[Rocky is trying to whack with a giant wooden mallet rodents as they pop out of holes in the ground. An ugly mole pops out of the hole and wave its hands mockingly, then flaps its hands by its ears and sticks its tongue out.]
Rocky:
Hiii-yah!
[The mole goes down into the hole just before the mallet hits it. Rocky smacks the holes a few more times, not managing to get any of the creatures. Then he stops and speaks to the camera.]
Rocky:
Frustratin', ain't it?
[Rocky tosses the mallet over his shoulder and runs out of frame, whooping and laughing. He runs to a pair of outside cellar doors, then turns back and waves.]
Rocky:
Suckers!
[Rocky flings the doors open and dives into the darkness. The doors fall closed behind him.]
Enzo:
Oh no! He's going down to the bonus wevel! Thewe's an extra wife coin down there! C'mon, we gotta get thewe ahead of him!
[He and AndrAIa start forward, then stop, turn, and glare. The four binomes are standing there and looking anywhere but at Enzo and AndrAIa.]
Enzo:
Okay, I may not be Bob and I'm onwy a widdle spwite! But if we don't stawt wowking togethew, we'ww all be deweted!
Prospector:
Dagnabbit, the kid's right!
Gothic Woman:
Oh, ya, for sure!
[The American Gothic binomes nod at each other.]
Scarecrow:
Duhhh.
AndrAIa:
What now - Guardian?
Enzo:
[craftily] I've got an idea.
[The two Sprites and four binomes go into a huddle and whisper.]
[PLACE COMMERCIAL HERE]
Sacajawea
[Fade in on a skull in darkness. An eye opens in the right, then the left socket. They blink out of synch. Then what looks like a cyclopean spider crawls out of the left socket and perches on the dome. He other spider crawls across the skull's face. The camera travels to a pillar, above which a glowing life coin floats. Enzo, AndrAIa, and the Prospector are on each other's shoulders, trying to reach the coin. The living column sways back and forth. The prospector reaches for the coin, then swings back.]
Enzo:
Quick! Here he comes!
[Rocky's eyes approach through the darkness, and he laughs and babbles. The column wobbles alarmingly. Then the prospector manages to grab the coin.]
Prospector:
Got it! Now how in tarnation do we get outta here?
AndrAIa:
Enzo!
Rocky:
[looking up at the Prospector] Hey, buddy, can ya spare some change? Whoa!
[Rocky looks up, at a manhole cover sliding open in the darkness up above. A hose falls down through it.]
Enzo:
Quick! Gwab hold! Evewyone hang on tight!
[The prospector grabs the hose. All three are immediately pulled upward.]
Enzo, AndrAIa, & Prospector:
Whoa!
[Rocky looks up at the manhole. Then he looks to the side.]
Rocky:
Huh? I thought they had wireframes
[Glowing binome skeletons are floating toward him, moaning and making ghostly noises. Seen from above, Rocky is surrounded. The manhole cover is replaced, leaving Rocky in the dark with the skeletons. Rocky's eyes - the only part of him visible in the darkness - do a Phil Foglio take.]
Rocky:
Uh-oh.
[The skeletons attack. In the melee skeletons fly around, and bits of them get knocked off. Sounds of serious thrashing are heard. Then the raccoon face-and-crossbones floats up through the manhole cover. Enzo, AndrAIa, all the binomes seen before, plus a punk binome and a tall female binome cheer.]
Enzo:
[giving a thumbs-up] Ya done good, scarecrow.
Prospector:
[laughing] Good work, Guardian! Two lives down, one to go!
[The camera closes in on the manhole cover. Then we see Rocky run down some steps and into a subway station. He skids to a stop and pants.]
Rocky:
Low energy. Need food! It's a living
[He startles and looks over when he hears someone strumming a guitar. Standing in front of a Java machine is a Rastafarian busker binome playing a guitar. He sings the Raccoon Calypso.]
Rasta Binome:
Raccoon searching high and low
For de food to make him go.
[Rocky is playing maracas.]
Rasta Binome:
If I catch him in my trap
Gonna make me a raccoon hat. Click here for a secret message
[On the last line, the binome whips out a big knife. Rocky screams and flees. His maracas fall to the floor.]
Rasta Binome:
Heh heh!
[Rocky runs past a doorway, then skids back and looks in. Camera closes in on a mashed potatoes vending machine with a picture of Rocky on the top.]
Rocky:
Yum yum! Lotta bad eatin' in a vendin' machine! Click here to see what Rocky sees
[Rocky burps, then runs to the machine and begins beating on it. He grabs the sides and shakes the whole machine, hitting it against the wall. Then he looks to the side. A creepy-looking binome in a trench coat is standing by a "Cup-O-Pork" vending machine. The binome opens his coat. Rocky stares. Then we hear the sound of something heavy hitting the floor. Rocky does a take of terror, screams, and flees up the stairs. The binome grins.]
[Rocky runs out of a subway entrance, then skids to a stop with a giant-eye take. In front of him are an angry mob of binomes - all the ones we've seen before, plus a construction worker and the cooked vulture - all waving various weapons.]
Rocky:
Whoop! Side exit for me! Ha ha!
[Rock runs into a side alley. Two binomes - the construction worker and the punk - pull a "danger" roadblock across the mouth of the alley behind him.] Punk Binome:
Well, we did what Enzo said.
[Rocky runs, then stops with a yelp and a stretching sound.]
Rocky:
Huh?
[Rocky's feet are stuck in a puddle of wet tar. He tries to lift his foot out. Then he stops when he hears a vehicle horn. A steamroller comes around the corner of the opposite end of the alley. Rocky struggles to get free. The vehicle approaches, crushing small bits of garbage in its way. Enzo is driving it. AndrAIa stands beside him.]
AndrAIa:
Go get 'im, Guardian!
[Enzo pulls the gearshift back, stopping the steamroller before it can mash a poor innocent sandwich.]
Enzo:
Youw icon! What if it doesn't wowk?
[AndrAIa puts her hand on top of Enzo's and pushes the gearshift forward. The machine starts up again. Black smoke belches from an exhaust pipe. Both grin with evil glee as the machine bears down on Rocky.]
Rocky: Who says you can't enjoy your work?
Uh-oh. This is gonna hoit!
[The raccoon turns and struggles, then screams as he falls under the roller. The tall female binome, and a younger boy binome, watch. The female looks disgusted, the boy fascinated. She covers his eye. He looks around her hand. The roller comes around, showing a flattened raccoon with Xes in his eyes holding a sign saying "TOLD YA!" The sign falls. As harp music plays, a ghostly copy of the raccoon roadkill floats up into the sky.]
System Voice:
Game over.
[The game rises into the orange sky. Various binomes, including a Graduate, a Gentleman, the Fargo binome, a ponytail zero, and the Sailor Moon binome, cheer Enzo.]
Gentleman:
[speaking in the same voice as the Prospector] I call that a Guardian! [spits]
Fargo Binome:
Fer sure!
Binome in Black:
Oh, good job!
Enzo:
[looking around anxiously] AndrAIa? AndrAIa?
Graduate:
[pointing] Duhhh.
Gentleman:
Heh. [pointing with his umbrella] She's right behind you, boy.
Enzo:
AndrAIa!
[Enzo and AndrAIa hug. Enzo looks up and pulls back.]
Enzo:
Your icon! It-it worked!
Gentleman:
Eh... Guardian, heh... [pointing with his umbrella] We got company.
[The sky is full of ABCs. Chauncy, in the hatch of the closest one, speaks through a megaphone.]
Chauncy:
Surrender! Resistance is useless! Anyone attempting to escape will be deleted!
[Enzo steps forward defiantly. Chauncy suddenly looks alarmed. All the ABCs turn and flee.]
Enzo:
Wh-what'd I do? Why didn't we just send out real CPUs?
AndrAIa:
[pointing up] Look!
[The sky behind Enzo and AndrAIa appears to be full of foreshortened CPU vehicles. Enzo grins. Then the false fronts fall, revealing binomes on zip boards. They grin and wave.]
Enzo:
Dot tricked them twice with the same plan! Megabyte is gonna be vewy vewy angwy!
[The camera pulls back as Enzo, AndrAIa, and the binomes laugh.]

Directed by J. Falconer
Starring the Voices of Kathleen Barr
Gary Chalk
Ian James Corlett
Paul Dobson
Michael Donovan
S. Louise Vallance		 Christopher Gray
Tony Jay
Andrea Libman
Scott McNeil
Shirley Milliner
Casting by BLT Productions Ltd.
Voice Director Michael Donovan
Story Editor Dan DiDio
Executive Production Design Consultant Brendan McCarthy
Production Design Mike Jackson
Production Design Consultant Ian Gibson
Design Supervisor Gavin Blair
Associate Producer Elizabeth Embling
Production Manager B. F. Painter
YTV Executive Laurinda Shaver
Animation Coordinator Nina Bowkett
Supervising Animator Casey Kwan
Senior Animators Blair Simmons
William Chan
Computer Animators Chris Brawn
Neil Bruder
Jeff Cappleman
Steve Chao
Andrew Harvey
Martin L'Heureux
Deb Liptak
Jeremy McCarron
Bea Moritz		 Mabel Chan
Terri Kim Chuckry
Joe Cruz
Scott Farquhar

Fernando Pazos
Ron Sombilon
Eric Torin
Yanick Wilisky
Modeling Director Frank Belina
Modellers Scott Baltjes
Steve Cooper
Herrick Chiu
Slava Chorny
Mike Faulkner
Alberto Garcia		 Gideon Hay
Doug MacCay
Leslie Oldham
Rick Scarpitti
Rak Tafarodi
Mike Towes
On-Line Editors Dermot Shane
Anne Hoerber
Off-Line Editor Steve Sacks
Vice-President Technical Operations Kelly Daniels
Chief Engineer Greg Story
Systems Engineers

Terry Bates
Larry Bodnar
Russ Ptolomey
Vice-President Software Development Chris Welman
Software Development Tim Belsher
Troy Brooks
David Fracchia
Rick Glumac		 Albert Ho
Phil Peterson
David Wong
Adam Wood-Gaines
Software Technical Support Denise Pierre Eric Torin
Video Production Supervisor Jim Corbett
Video Production Technician Jean Ireland
Video Disk Operators Sylvain Blais
Amy Wilding
Corporate Controller Giuilana Bertuzzi, CMA
Production Accountant Jim Pratt
Director of Communications Mairi Welman
Executive Assistants Adria Budd
Colleen Heenan
Alliance Executive Beth Stevenson
Production Assistants Chris Cairns
Tyler Haider
Earl Fast		 Donna Maxwell
Marco Tremblay
"Raccoon Calypso" Music by Robert Buckley
Lyrics by Blair, Buckley, & Pearson
Music composed by Robert Buckley
Sound Effects Supervisor Marcel Duperreault
Sound Effects Editor Jason Fredrickson
Dialogue Editor Kirk Furniss
Dialogue recorded at Pinewood Sound
Buzzy's Recording
Foley, Re-recording & Final Mix at Post Modern Sound
Video Post Production Mainframe Entertainment Inc.
Vice President of Production Glenn Griffiths
Vice President of Operations Phil Mitchell
Director of Operations Gavin Blair

Produced in association with
YTV Canada Inc.

Recorded in Stereo Surround

© 1997 Reboot III Productions Ltd.
All rights Reserved

A Mainframe/Alliance Production

 

  The ReBoot episode "Between A Raccoon & A Hard Place" and all associated images and sounds is copyright © Mainframe Entertainment, Inc. Screen grabs snapped by Kim McFarland. This transcript document is copyright © Kim McFarland. Please do not re-archive without permission.

 

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