[Hash and Slack are staring at the staticky VidWindow.]
Hash: That was... interesting.
Slack: [looking back, the whispering to Hash] We're on!
Hash: [looking back and startling] All right! We're in the home stretch! Only two more official awards to go! The first is Best Fan Art!
Slack: The nominees are: "Legend" by Skif, "The Virus Strikes Back" by Skif, and "The Big Boss"-
Hash: By Skif?
Slack: No, by Sara "Silvestris" Strand.
Hash: Oh.
Slack: And the winner is...
[Hash gets the envelope and opens it before Hash can. Slack pauses dramatically. Hash reads over her shoulder.]
Hash: Legend!
[Slack raises a hand as if to clobber Hash. Hash takes an award graphic out of the box and hides behind it. Slack scowls, then puts her hands on the podium.]
Slack: And the final official category is Best Fan Artist. A category from which WE were disqualified.
Hash: There's a good reason for that.
Slack: Never mind. The nominees are... Willow-
Hash: I liked that movie better than Legend.
Slack: Skif,
Hash: Big surprise there.
Slack: and Sara Strand.
Both: [speaking in unison to the audience] Gee, now who do you think is gonna win?!
Hash picks up the envelope. She hands it to Slack. After a suspicious hesitation, Slack takes it. Hash puts her hands behind her back while Slack opens it.]
Slack: And the winner is...
[Hash begins imitating a drumroll.]
Slack: Skif!
Both: What a surprise!
Hash: And we got a few quick awards to give out. These're the judge's discretionary awards, which means we just made them up.
Slack: "Best Evil Overlord" goes to Meghan/Daemon, owner of The Infection and conqueror of Al's Wait and Eat, because we'd be scared NOT to give this to her.
Hash: Sorry, Hanako.
Slack: "Site We'll Miss The Most" goes to The Edge of Beyond by Zen Zenith. He took it down in 2000, but MRT4K lives on. Zen's site is gone, but not forgotten!
Hash: The ""Best False Alarm" award goes to A Minor Glitch. She disappeared for months and months. Her site wasn't updated. And then it disappeared completely in the great Yahoo/Simplenet debacle!
Slack: There was panic in the ReBoot fan community! Sprites running amok, cats and dogs living together, total chaos!
Hash: And then it came back, and now it's more lively than ever. New screengrabs and recipes and comics. So, to A Minor Glitch, we have just this to say:
Both: DON'T SCARE US LIKE THAT AGAIN!
Hash: Next we have "Best Source of Information." How's that different from "Most Informative Site" you may ask?
Slack: How *is* it?
Hash: It's different because the winner's not a site, it's a person: Mairi Welman, Director of Communications for Mainframe Entertainment!
Slack: For those of you who have been living under a rock - while most companies ignore their fans, taking them for granted, Mairi has been posting to alt.tv.reboot for years, keeping us informed of what's really going on. Where other fandoms have all sorts of rumors and nonsense, we get real honest-to-Programmer FACTS! Not to mention that she's really nice.
Hash: [formally] So, Mairi, may we just take this opportunity to say
Both: YOU ROCK!
Slack: [picking up a piece of paper] Here's another award. Most original MiSTer. [reading from the paper] "Jareth, Jack, and Jenesis - Yes, there's the classic MRT4K style and the MiSTed - Sorta style, but a MiSTed... Schizophrenia Style? It definitely takes talent to be able to argue with yourself. Props to you Jareth (and Jack and Jenesis!)"
Hash: Don't ask us, that was one of the other judges who wrote that.
[They look at each other and shrug]
Slack: Um...
Hash: I think we're finished.
Slack: We still gotta do the credits. [pause] ROLL THE CREDITS!