He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades
The darkness and silence were familiar, at least, and he cursed as he stood there, waiting for what he knew came next.
There it was: The red light, dripping, cloying like blood, and the sound of staff rings. The sound was eerie in this darkness that lived and breathed. For the silence wasn’t really silence at all; if he listened carefully he could hear small noises that lingered just on the edge of hearing, chattering away in their dark, demonic voices and yet not there at all. It never failed to frighten him.
Zelgadis saw the red light boiling out of the darkness like blood from a fresh wound and the noises were forgotten. The mass grew stubby protuberances, pseudopods that resembled a horrible parody of a man. His mouth twisted as it reached out towards him and the horror that they would touch him flashed through him as it always did. And, though he knew it was impossible, he tried to step back, away from those questing tentacles.
His foot twisted as he was actually able to move away, avoid being ensnared by that living blood. Horror filled him as he caught himself. This wasn’t right! he screamed in his mind. This wasn’t how the nightmare was supposed to go! He could move! The bloody pseudopods reached for him but he backed away again, and they fell lifeless to the ground. As he watched, stunned with horror and amazement, they shrank back into the robes of the man facing him.
The Chimera looked up and into the pale features of his grandfather. They were the same and a form of twisted relief washed through him. This was familiar; this was what he expected—
His heart nearly stopped as his brain processed the information his eyes sent it: The evil grin that Rezo wore in his nightmares was gone. Instead, his face was marked by some strong emotion that twisted those handsome features into a mask of pain. But that wasn’t what amazed him most; that was the fact that Rezo’s eyes were open!
Trembling, Zelgadis nearly sank to his knees. The only time he had ever seen Rezo’s eyes open was right after Lina had defeated Shabranigdu and they’d caught a brief glimpse of the Red Priest as his soul was departing. Then his eyes had been open and clear and violet and finally at peace and free of pain.
These eyes were neither clear, at peace or free of pain. They were clouded, thunderstorm dark, and tears flowed down his pale cheeks: Bright red tears of blood.
Zelgadis, the apparition said quietly, reaching out to him with his left hand, the one that did not hold his staff. Zelgadis, he repeated. Listen to me.
It was too much for the young Chimera. Zelgadis stumbled backwards as he tried to get away, had to get away. He was comfortable with his old nightmare! He knew what to expect! This—The uncertainty unnerved him, frightened him beyond measure. He turned and ran like a frightened animal, not knowing where he was running, but knowing only that he had to get away!
He ran until he could run no more. Out of breath and nearly sobbing with terror, he stumbled to a halt and dropped to his hands and knees. Head hanging down so that his hair nearly brushed the ground, he fought to catch his breath. Something wet splashed onto his hand and he opened his eyes and looked down. There was a spot of moisture on his half-fingered glove. “What?” he murmured and reached up with his other hand and felt his cheeks. They were wet. Wet with tears.
Angrily, he scrubbed at his face. No, it couldn’t be. It was from the exertion. He hadn’t shed a tear over anything or anyone since the day Rezo had cursed him. He wasn’t about to start now.
Sitting back on his heels, he looked around and wondered if he was still dreaming. He was in some sort of formal garden—it had to be a dream because the hedges around him were black. There was very little color anywhere, save for himself. “Feh,” he muttered and climbed to his feet. There were hedges all around him save for one direction. Either he’d run in from that direction or the hedges had sprung up around him while he hadn’t been looking. Since that was the only way to go, he started off in that direction.
After getting lost twice, he finally found the exit to the hedge maze. As he stepped out from between the two hedgerows, what he saw made him freeze and stare around. “This is a dream?” he muttered to himself. Shaking his head, he shrank back against the hedge as he tried to absorb his surroundings. “If it is, it certainly isn’t one of mine!”
And indeed, he had never had a dream like this before: The hedgerows around him were black and leached of color, but the area they delineated was far from colorless! In fact, there were so many colors his eyes hurt! Swirls of red, green, blue, purple, yellow, orange and every color in between that had ever existed in nature or not—and one of an electric purply-green shade that he was sure existed nowhere except this demented place—crowded upon one another and fought for supremacy, only to be usurped by another color as it came along and climbed the political power ladder.
It was a party. A party unlike any others he had seen, not even in that ridiculous attraction that Filia had ensnared him and Lina in not so long ago. There the participants had been dolls, statically animated by a hidden controller. Here…the party-goers were made of color, sometimes two or three.
That was only part of the parti-colored quilt of motion, sound and color that made his head dance and eyes hurt. The sounds of several different bands, all playing a different tune, assaulted his sensitive ears and rang in his head painfully. And the colorful people moved constantly to these conflicting melodies.
To top that off, the place had that slightly skewed feeling common in dreams. Perspective was all off, making some things appear closer than others while the landscape tilted unnaturally in others, lending the scene yet another facet of just plain weird.
“Has to be a dream. Fever dream—” He broke off and his eyes went wide. “That shit Coyote put in the fire! That bastard! He’s a dead man,” he muttered, his tone making that a grim promise.
Cautiously, he started forward, carefully stepping around a small knot of party-goers, noting as he did so that they were dressed in red and black and had little insignia on their costumes: Red hearts and diamonds; black spades and clubs. He got a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach at that, but brushed it away.
He wandered around the party, wondering what else his fevered mind was going to produce. He mustn’t be that bad off if he could recognize the fact that this was a dream. He just wished he could wake up from it. Sighing, Zelgadis had to admit that weird as this was, it was far better than having to suffer through his old nightmare yet again. He just hoped this one didn’t get any weirder—
“Zel!”
Absolutely nothing could have startled him more than to hear that voice calling his name. The Chimera whipped around and scanned the crowd in something resembling a panic. Why, he didn’t know, but it set the hair on the back of his neck to standing at attention. Then he spotted her—and did a double-take that would have given another person whiplash.
Her bright crimson hair spilled over the formal black dress she wore and a crown trimmed in black velvet and ermine sat atop her head. Unwittingly, he had started for the dais where she was, heading for something familiar in all this weirdness.
She waved again, enthusiastically using her whole arm. Her face was lit up as she watched him push through the crowd towards her. It was then that she turned to the tall man sitting next to her and grabbed his arm and jerked it out from under his cheek, where he was using his fist to prop up his head while he dozed. “Look, Gourry! It’s Zel! LOOK, DAMMIT!”
The tall blonde swordsman, also clothed in black and wearing a black crown on top of his golden hair, slipped and nearly fell out of the chair…No chair, Zelgadis noted as he got closer, but a throne. He looked the pair over as he approached them; what were Lina and Gourry doing dressed as a king and queen? And sitting in thrones? And, more importantly, what were they doing in his dream?
“Huh?” Gourry said sleepily, turning his head this way and that. “Look where, Lina?”
“THERE!” she screeched and pointed at Zelgadis, who was standing right in front of them. Gourry looked down at the Chimera and recognition played across his features.
“Ah! Zelgadis! Nice to see you! You decided to come to the party, too?”
“Considering that this is my dream, I guess it would have been rude of me not to attend.” He gave them a wry smile and lifted his hand. “And considering that this is a dream, you’re both not really here, so it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, would it?”
“Ah, Zel, don’t be a hard butt!” Lina said. “This is a great party! Look! Just look at all the colors! And the food!!” She pointed towards the long buffet.
Zelgadis mounted the two steps that formed the dais that the thrones were set upon. “Now I know this is a dream. If it were real, you wouldn’t be sitting here while the food was over there.”
She stuck her tongue out at him. “We were waiting for you! It would have been rude to start the banquet without the Guest of Honor, now wouldn’t it?”
“Guest of Honor? What do you mean?” He looked from the sorceress to the swordsman and back.
“It’s a celebration, Zelgadis!” Gourry said. “For you!”
“What for?” he asked suspiciously.
“Do you need a reason? It’s just for, that’s all!” Lina jumped up and dragged him down the row of chairs to just past Gourry where an empty throne crouched like a waiting predator. He tried to pull away but Lina forced him down into it, fished underneath and pulled out a crown like the one Gourry was wearing, only in red, and plonked it down on his head. “There. Now we can eat!” She happily skipped back to her chair and sat down.
“Don’t mind Lina-san, Zelgadis-san,” another feminine voice said to his left. He started and turned to look at her—and wondered why he hadn’t noticed her before. She was wearing the same type of gown that Lina was wearing, only hers was in red. She was Elegance Incarnate in that dress: It hugged her shapely curves and the neckline plunged low onto her breasts and the white ermine trimming hugged her milky white shoulders in a way that was definitely…
Definitely what? he asked himself. When he refused to answer, instead looking away from the Princess, that damned voice in his head demanded again, Definitely what?
“I don’t know!” he shouted, startling those around him.
“Zelgadis-san?” Amelia asked, tilting her head to the side and looking at him curiously. “You don’t know what?”
He startled and looked up into her face, having to force his eyes upwards away from interesting parts of her revealed by her gown. “What? Oh, nothing…nothing. It was nothing.” He wondered at her beauty, the concern she held in her eyes for him, the way her hair played along her neck, the funny little cowlicks that even now refused to lay flat, but stuck up from underneath the brim of her crown—
That crown…He sat up straight and looked at it: White ermine trimmed the rim of it. Two golden bands rose out of the trimming to cross in the center and encase the plush red velvet inside. A single red heart adorned the peak of the crown.
Gripping the arms of his throne, Zelgadis whipped around and looked at Lina and Gourry. Their crowns were adorned with spades, and there were little spades embroidered on their clothing in black silk thread. He looked back at Amelia and noticed her gown was embroidered with hearts.
Raising a cautious hand, he lifted the crown off his head and lowered it so that he could examine it. He let out a pent up breath as he saw there was no symbol on his crown…
He leaned back in the throne and pinched the bridge of his nose. This was just too much of a coincidence. What now?
A hand shook him. “Come on, Zel,” Gourry said. “Time for the banquet to start.”
“Come on!” Lina shouted when he didn’t respond quickly enough and grabbed his other arm. Between the two of them, they hauled Zelgadis out of the throne and over to the table where the food was piled high. Lina left Zelgadis and went to stand beside a chair. As Gourry went to pull out his own chair, she glared at him so hard even Zelgadis could feel the heat coming off her.
“Ahem,” she said as if clearing her throat. “Aren’t you forgetting something, Gourry?”
The blonde looked up at her as he sank down into his chair. “I don’t think so, Lina. Did I?”
“My chair?” she said pointedly, glare intensifying.
Zelgadis couldn’t help but grin as he stepped around the table to pull out the chair for Amelia. She took a step back and looked at him in surprise, but recovered herself quickly. “Thank you, Zelgadis-san,” she said formally as she curtsied before gathering her skirt and sitting in the chair.
“You’re welcome, Princess,” he said just as formally, though a half-grin softened his words. As he turned back to his chair, Gourry still hadn’t figured out what Lina was waiting for. Lina was watching him and Amelia then rounded angrily on the unfortunate swordsman.
“Gourry! You jellyfish! You were supposed to do what Zel just did for Amelia!” She jerked out her chair and slumped down in it hard.
“Well, why didn’t you say so? I thought you could do that on your own, though.” He got out of his chair and reached for hers.
“Haven’t you ever heard of manners, idiot?!” she shouted, jerking her chair forward out of his reach. “Never mind. I’ll do it myself.”
“Okay, if that’s the way you feel about it.” Gourry shrugged and returned to his seat; Zelgadis had to turn away to hide a wry grin. Amelia was trying to hide her own knowing grin, and their eyes met. For one brief moment, they shared a moment of quiet amusement at their friends’ antics, only…As he looked into her blue eyes, he saw something there that puzzled him and his smile fled from his face as he tried to fathom it. Her smile, too, departed for parts unknown as her eyes darkened and clouded. As she looked away, he wondered what had caused that, and felt a pang of loss within himself.
He looked away, not wanting to embarrass her further, only to find himself looking at Lina, who was pointedly not looking at Gourry. The beleaguered swordsman had one elbow propped on the arm of his chair and was using his fist to rest his cheek against it while he sulked under Lina’s inattention. Irritably, she snapped at Zelgadis, “What are you looking at?”
“I believe I’m looking at you, Lina,” he said, voice as smooth as marble and just as cool. She flushed angrily but there was no one to direct her anger at (Amelia was looking away and not at anyone in particular), Lina slouched down in her seat.
“What are we waiting for?” Zelgadis asked, suddenly aware that no one, not even the usually incorrigible duo across the table, had made a move towards the food piled before them. Not only that, it was just then that he realized the table was pentagonally shaped, with five places set, and five chairs. The empty chair, set between himself and Lina, seemed suddenly all too…imposing, crouching like a dark beast between the sorceress and the Chimera.
“We’re waiting for the last guest,” Amelia said quietly. “She’s coming, right now.”
Zelgadis turned to stare at her and saw her staring off into the distance over his left shoulder. He twisted around to see what she was looking at—and froze in disbelief.
* * *
I know that the spades are swords
of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart
As She came to sit at the table, pulling out Her own chair and seating Herself, all he could do was stare. He knew She was dressed in a gown similar to both Amelia and Lina’s, but, like Amelia’s, Hers was a bloody crimson. These details were all noted in passing, however; he couldn’t really make out Her features save for one: the color of Her eyes. They were green; green as new grass; green as emeralds; green as the ocean where the water was warm and salt above and cold and fresh below.
There was one other detail that registered on is brain: Her gown and crown were adorned with diamonds. As he tore his eyes away from the Queen of Diamonds sitting next to him, he looked around the little circle of friends—and one odd guest out—his winning hand. Queens of Spades, Diamonds and Hearts. Kings of Spades and…
But his crown was unmarked and he was wearing his regular clothing. Which King was he? And yet, his crown was red, giving him only two choices. In the game, the other King had been the King of Hearts, but how could someone with a heart of stone rule such things? That left only the King of Diamonds.
Angrily, Zelgadis reached up and pulled off the crown. “What’s going on here?” he demanded, looking around the table. All four of the others were staring at him, as if waiting for something. For him to do something.
“What do you mean, Zelgadis-san?”
He rounded on Amelia, who had spoken. “You know perfectly well what I mean!” he shouted, forgetting for a moment that this was a dream.
She looked up at him with hurt eyes. “But I don’t know what you mean. I wouldn’t have asked if I did.”
“Stop playing games with me!” he shouted, thumping his fisted hands on the table in front of him. The impact jolted the food piled upon the table in front of him. It jingled with a clear, crystalline sound.
Wait a minute, he thought to himself. Food doesn’t jingle. He looked down and found that the food had been replaced by a pile of gold. The coins, disturbed by his abuse, slid around his hands and cascaded off the edge like a golden rain.
“What—?” he gasped, stepping back and pushing his chair back at the same time. “What’s going on?” he demanded again, looking at Lina and Gourry.
“There’s nothing going on, Zel,” Gourry said, looking at him steadily out of his summertime blue eyes. Zelgadis looked at the swordsman, and found that seeing Gourry dressed in black was an eerie sight. Against that non-color, his golden hair and clear blue eyes made for a startling contrast. Leaning forward, Gourry rested an elbow on the table and waved a hand over the mounded gold. “It’s just a bunch of treasure; all you could want.” More coins slid off the mounded pile, as if stirred by that slight wave, to reveal the golden hilt of Zelgadis’ sword, and several musty old spellbooks that he recognized as his own. Books written in his own hand, containing spells that he had slaved over to master. Books long forgotten but represented hours, years, decades of diligent work to master. “Your sword, your power. Wealth. All very fine things, don’t you agree? And you have them all.”
Lina leaned forward and Zelgadis ripped his eyes from Gourry’s to meet her bleeding stare. “But you aren’t satisfied with just these, are you, Zelgadis? You want more.”
He went cold. “And is that so bad? To want more? You’re always reaching for more, Lina. You can’t even admit to yourself that you’re in love with Gourry, not even when the rest of the world can see it plain as day!”
This dream-Lina didn’t bat an eye. “Admitting that I want him and wanting something I can’t get are two different things, Zelgadis Greywers. He’s one of the fine things I’ve been given in my life and I’m more than aware of that. Besides, what makes you think I won’t or haven’t admitted it? Why do you think I stay with him?” She paused to let that sink in before she continued. “It isn’t the wanting more that’s bad; it’s wanting what you can’t get or have. And not wanting what you do have.”
He stared at her then lowered his head and screwed his eyes shut. “I am not having this conversation,” he said. “Lina Inverse, Dragon Spooker, giving me advice on how to run my life.”
“No, she’s just a dream,” Amelia said quietly. “We’re all just dreams. Your dreams.”
He turned his glare on her. “My dreams? Then go away!” She gazed back at him, with those beautiful blue eyes…Eyes that reached into his soul. Eyes he could lose himself in…
“We won’t do that.” Gourry’s voice dragged his attention away from Amelia, though something inside him cried out in pain against it. “We care about you, Zel. We want to see you happy.”
“You can do that best by going away!” he shouted, bringing his fists down onto the table again. The motion set the pile of coins to slithering and sliding as if alive and they poured over the side, taking the sword and books with them, until there was nothing left.
“You see,” Gourry continued on, looking sadly at the now empty table. “Gone. All of it. You want what you can’t get, so you lose everything.”
He felt the blood leave his face as cold anger welled up inside of him. “What do you mean by that, Gourry? Who was it that followed Lina around like a dog for two years before he admitted that he liked her?” he said in that cold, hard voice he reserved for when he was his angriest. “And what did it take for you to tell her that you needed her? Lina had to be taken by the Lord of Nightmares, that’s what! I call that wanting what you can’t get. Is there any difference between you and me?” He paused and unsatisfied with the wounding he just given the swordsman, he had to twist the knife even further. “Besides the fact that your IQ is about that of said dog?”
Gourry’s blue eyes went dark and his brows creased in pain at Zelgadis’ harsh words. His face flushed in anger and he opened his mouth to reply, but before he could say anything Lina jumped to the swordsman’s defense. “That’s not fair, Zelgadis, and you know it.” Her eyes were hard as rubies. “You know we’re right, don’t you?”
“And just how the hell do you figure that?” he spat.
“Because you’ve resorted to abuse.”
That drew Zelgadis up short. “Why can’t you all just leave me alone?” he asked again. “Just leave me alone!”
“You should know very well that we’re not going leave you alone. Someone has to save you from yourself.” Lina glared daggers at him.
He rounded on her to shout something, but a motion from the green-eyed Queen of Diamonds stopped the words cold in his throat. “Don’t listen to them, Zelgadis,” She said, leaning forward and taking his arm. The blood rushed to his face as he looked at Her and even though nothing but the green of Her eyes registered on his brain, he knew She was smiling at him. “They just don’t understand. What’s the one thing you want most?” She asked smoothly.
The Chimera had to force his brain to work. The woman holding his arm affected him on a very basic level; something akin to lust burned within him. “I want to be human again,” he said in a tightly controlled voice. “I want to be normal, not some kind of freak.”
“Human,” Lina said, interrupting him and pulling him out of himself. He ripped his eyes from the Lady’s green ones to glare once again into those eyes of hard, crystallized blood. “You don’t know the meaning of the word. You have convinced yourself that you’re a monster and you’re turning into one. You search for a cure and yet you search in all the wrong places.”
The green-eyed Queen of Diamonds stood and pulled him closer, pressing Herself close to his side. “How can you know that?” She asked Lina. “How can you even begin to understand the anguish that he’s suffered? The anguish he only wants to put an end to by returning himself to normal?”
“I know,” a soft voice came from behind Zelgadis and the Lady. She’d been so quiet up until now, that Zelgadis had forgotten she was there. Turning, he looked down at Amelia where she sat, regal-looking and beautiful in her chair. Her hands gripped the arms of the chair until her knuckles turned white and her face was pale. “I understand.”
The Lady chuckled. “And how can you possibly know what it is he suffers, little girl? Go home and play at being a hero and leave matters of the world to those who are better able to deal with them.”
Amelia glared up at the other woman. She pushed herself up and stood tall and proud. “I know. I’ve suffered both loss and betrayal in my life, as well! I lost my mother to an assassin! My sister ran away because of it! It was expected that I would inherit the throne; my opinion on the matter was never consulted. So in a sense, I was turned into something without regard for my feelings or thoughts on the matter.”
“Ah, so you were,” the Lady crooned. “No wonder you’re the little Justice freak you are; you’re just another kind of monster. Isn’t she, Zelgadis?”
Zelgadis looked deeply into Amelia’s eyes and saw something there he’d never seen before. Or was it the fact that he’d never bothered to look or refused to recognize it. The Princess of Seyruun had suffered at the hands of her family in ways similar to his own. But still…
“Is that what you think, too, Zelgadis-san?” she asked, her voice tightly controlled. The pain and hurt in her eyes was plain to see.
“Of course he does!” The Lady said with much amusement. “Can’t you tell? Why do you think he left you in Seyruun, all alone, Princess? Because he didn’t want to be bothered with an immature, annoying little Justice freak. He doesn’t want another monster when he could have me.” She put her hand on his chest and leaned into him. “I’m his cure, something he lusts for until there’s no room for anything else. Haven’t you realized that by now? Nothing, nothing else matters except me.”
Those blue eyes darkened to black and there was a double-gasp behind him from Lina and Gourry. Dumbly, shocked beyond belief, he tried to force himself to say something—anything! “No…no! That’s not how it is at all!” he was finally able to get out.
Amelia, however, wasn’t listening. She pushed back her chair and walked up to the Lady. Blue eyes looked into green, and Zelgadis unconsciously stepped backwards. Now that they were together, Amelia glowing with righteous indignation and the Lady shining brightly, he could see that Amelia’s beauty outshone the Lady’s with no question. The Lady’s allure was the dazzle-glitter of card game winnings and about as substantial as a will o’ the wisp. And just as deadly. But, Her beauty was addictive, possessive. Always just out of reach, always promising rewards next time—next time will be the big payoff. And he was caught in her snare and couldn’t help himself. Worse still, he refused to admit it to even himself.
“You’re poison to him,” the Princess said in a soft, low voice. “You’ve poisoned his soul and are slowly turning what’s left of him into the monster he so wants to escape. I just wish he could see that as plainly as I do.” And she raised her hand, quickly and with a speed borne of righteous anger, she slapped the Lady across the face with her open palm.
“Amelia!” he shouted as the Lady staggered back. He reached out and caught Her elbows and lowered Her into the chair. “What was that for?”
She turned her hard angry eyes on him. “I should slap you as well, Zelgadis Greywers,” she said in a dangerous voice.
“Why?” he demanded.
“For letting her make you her slave.”
“I’m no one’s slave!” he snarled at her.
“You’re her slave!” she shouted back at him. “Not only are you a slave to her, but you indentured yourself to her willingly! You accused Gourry-san of following Lina-san around like a dog, and yet who is it that chases her—” she pointed at the Lady sitting next to Zelgadis “—skirttails all over the world, on the slightest whim, only to be disappointed again and again when nothing comes of her whispered promises! At least Lina-san and Gourry-san have their friendship and company! You…” She stood back and looked at him in disgust. “You have nothing to show for your devotion save years of wasted effort. And to think I once thought I could love you.” She whirled away to hide her suddenly shining eyes.
Her words stung him to the core. And his normal reaction to pain was anger. Hot, seething anger welled up inside him; anger at her for what she’d said, for saying it out loud, and for most of all, being right about it. He glared at the back of her head, fists clenching at his side while visions of striking her played in the dark recesses of his mind. Guilt that he would even consider that course of action fueled the anger and the need to strike out overwhelmed him. Raising his fist, he roared wordlessly as he brought it down on the five-sided table with enough force to shatter it. The crown that he had discarded earlier went rolling out of the destruction and off the dais and into the crowd.
The place was suddenly silent as a graveyard save for a little yelp Amelia, then she, too, was quiet as she turned and stared at Zelgadis as if he’d suddenly grown another head. He hadn’t noticed the constant din in the background until it came to a screeching halt. The party-goers stopped and stared at him. Then as one, they looked to the crown that had fallen amongst their midst.
Lina and Gourry stood and stared at him in horror; the swordsman reached out and pulled Amelia away from Zelgadis and into his arms. She buried her face in his chest and he held her close while glaring at Zelgadis. “Dammit, Zel. Look what you’ve done,” he said in a hard voice. “What’s gotten into you?”
“What’s gotten into me?” he panted. “What’s gotten into all of you?!” He clenched his fists and glared at the swordsman, wondering why he was so angry with the other man for holding Amelia. He shook his head to try and clear it of the anger currently twisting his insides into knots. “I don’t need this or you or anyone. I don’t need saving from myself; I don’t need anyone babysitting me and telling me what I should or should not want or should or should not do with my life!” He saw Amelia’s shoulders flinch and opened his mouth to say something else equally acidic and venomous to her, but a voice behind him made him stop.
“You know, you’ll never accomplish anything yelling at yourself like that.”
The Chimera jerked as though someone had hit him with a Mono Bolt. He whirled around and stared in slack-jawed disbelief at the man coming up the steps of the dais towards the little group.
“You! What are you doing here?” he demanded.
The black-haired young man came to a stop next to Zelgadis. It was only then that the Chimera noticed that he was holding the crown in his hands. “I came to see what was causing you so much pain, Zelgadis.” He looked around at the little group. They looked back in silence. “Seems you’re carrying around a lot of emotional baggage, my friend.”
Zelgadis blinked and took a step back. His anger still hadn’t dissipated. “This is all your doing, isn’t it?” he shouted.
Coyote shook his head. “I have nothing to do with this; it’s all your doing.”
“How can that be?” he demanded. “I didn’t ask for this!”
“That’s something you have yet to understand: Very rarely does asking have anything to do with what you get.”
The Chimera simply stared at him then turned away and pinched the bridge of his nose. “All right, all right. Just…stop this. I don’t want any more.”
“That’s another thing you’ve got to learn: Wanting something doesn’t necessarily mean you can get it. And I can’t stop this because I told you, I didn’t do it; you did.”
“I wish you’d stop speaking in riddles, you know that?” Zelgadis glared at him. “What do you mean you didn’t do this? You’re the one that put that stuff in the fire.”
Coyote shook his head. “That was only to help you sleep. This is all of your own making.”
“That’s ridiculous. I’ve never had a dream like this before.”
“Doesn’t mean you can’t start having them now. Seems to me that it’s high time you did.” Before Zelgadis could respond to that, Coyote held up the crown. “Seems to me you’ve got to make a choice.”
“What?” Zelgadis looked at him in confusion. This was all getting to be too much and he couldn’t keep up with the shifts in the conversation any more.
“A choice. You’ve come to a place where you can no longer continue on as you’ve been. Continue your present path and you will lose what you value most. Chose another, chose to take some of those fine things that have been offered you, and you will find your humanity.” He held out the crown to him. “Which will it be? Hearts or Diamonds?”
“That’s the biggest load of nonsense I’ve ever heard.”
“Come now, Zelgadis,” the Queen of Diamonds said from next to him. “Surely you want to pick me? After all, you’ve been courting me for so long now.” She stood and took his arm. “And I am what you want, you know it.”
He looked down at Her, staring into Her seductive green eyes and felt his defenses melting away. Three sharp gasps stabbed at him and he looked up—and directly into Amelia’s hard eyes. The hurt in her blue eyes twisted his heart and he pulled away from the Queen of Hearts though She clung to him like a leech. “Amelia, I—” he said quickly, hands out and pleading with her. But before he could say anything else, the Lady hanging on his arm pulled him around and towards the steps down from the dais.
“Forget her, Zelgadis,” She said as he tried to pull away only to find himself unable to rip himself out of Her strong grip. “Can she give you what you want most? No. Choose me, be my slave, and I’ll do anything you ask.”
He stared down at Her in horror, realization finally starting to sink in. She clung to him while behind him Coyote tossed the crown into the wreckage of the table Zelgadis had ruined. “Better make that choice, Zelgadis,” he said approaching Amelia and holding out his arms to her. Gourry released the little Princess as the black-haired man took her hand and pulled her into his arms. It was only then that Zelgadis realized that Coyote was dressed in red with hearts embroidered on his clothing. He didn’t wear a crown like Gourry did, but rather a sort of cap—the Jack of Hearts, Zelgadis finally realized. “Make the right choice, before it’s too late. Before it’s too late.”
“Get your hands off her!” Zelgadis shouted, finally pushing the Lady angrily away and running towards the two of them. Coyote led Amelia off the dais and into the crowd which opened up then closed behind them, cutting them off from Zelgadis’ pursuit.
He rushed the crowd’s edge, thinking he could push easily through them and reach Amelia’s side. He had to get her away from Coyote! He had to let her know things weren’t as she thought they were! Try as he might to slip through the throng of masked dancers, the closer they seemed to press together. They blocked him at every turn, pushing him farther and farther away from his objective. It closed in around him, moving against him and buffeting him away from his goal. Frustrated, he tore at the party-goers. They fell back from him in terror, but there were always more where they came from, always keeping him from Amelia. Whenever the dancers shifted, he could get glimpses of her, dancing close within Coyote’s arms, her head resting on his chest. Tears glittered on her cheeks and lay on his ruffled shirt like diamonds.
Close to tears himself, Zelgadis angrily shoved aside a knot of dancers in his attempt to get to the Princess. Paradoxically, they pushed back—sending him staggering into an empty area on the outskirts of the masque ball. He barely avoided getting brained by the shovel that Lina wielded with vicious precision.
“Hey!” he shouted, ducking and throwing up an arm to shield his head. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Oops!” she said with a giggle, lowering the shovel. “Sorry.”
He gaped at her and the tall swordsman standing behind her, also with a shovel held over his shoulder. They were both still wearing their royal costumes.
“What are you two—” he started to ask then thought better of it as he looked downward and saw a small croquet course set up. The wickets were formed by long-legged, long-necked pink birds and the balls were colored glass balls of red and blue. “Never mind. I don’t want to know.” He turned his back on the two of them and their ridiculous game. Trust those two to be caught up in something totally random and unrelated to the current goings-on, caught up in their own little world with whatever had top billing at the moment. He surveyed the fringes of the dancers, their grotesque masks flashing by in first quick then slow procession. They laughed at him, mocked his attempts to see past the defensive barrier they erected around the Princess and her dance partner.
“C’mon, Zel,” Lina said, walking up and clapping him on the shoulder. “Come play a round with us.”
He shrugged her off, rounding on her and facing her down angrily. “No, Lina! This isn’t the time for games! I have more important things to do!” He turned back to the crowd, advancing purposefully on them, raising his hands to cast a spell, any spell, to clear them out of his way.
A small hand on his arm pulled him around. He glowered down at the small sorceress. “What do you want?” he shouted.
“Look, Zel. The Lady is playing with us. Don’t you want to play?” Lina’s ruby eyes were hard and cold as he stared into them. “You love chasing after Her and now here She is. Waiting for you.” She gestured and Zelgadis followed that gesture.
There stood the Queen of Diamonds, leaning on a shovel and smirking at him. “Come play, Zelgadis. Perhaps this simple game will lead to your cure.”
He spared Her no more than a glance. “No. I have more important things to do.” He headed back to the edge of the ball, and with a roar, physically shoved the dancers aside. Screaming, they fell back before him, opening up a path towards the center where Amelia danced with—
Zelgadis froze. Amelia wasn’t dancing with Coyote, but one of the masked dancers. Even as he watched, that partner passed her to another, and another, and another…The dark-haired girl was weeping openly as she was handed back and forth, spun about like a piece of flotsam set adrift on the surface of a storm-troubled ocean, like so much baggage to be passed back and forth without a thought as to her feelings on the matter. The music increased its tempo and she was tossed about helplessly, her head lolling back and forth like a doll’s.
Slayers copyright 1991-2000 by Hajime Kanzaka/Rui Araizumi/Kadokawa Shoten/TV
TOKYO/SOFTX/Marubeni.
Story and original characters copyright Wendy W Lee