Top Five Countdowns

(Zorak's Poetry)


1:12

Ghost:
Now we begin with the Cartoon Planet Top Five Countdown.
Zorak:
Ah, Space Ghost... I, I, I've written some poems.
Ghost:
Isn't that nice. So let's get started with-
Zorak:
Eh, eh, uh, I'd like to read them today.
Ghost:
Zorak, it's Top Five Countdown Day.
Zorak:
I know it doesn't make any sense, but, uh-
Ghost:
Maybe that's why it makes all the sense in the world! It's just what the countdown needs! A new wrinkle! A gimmick! It's perfect!
Zorak:
Well, now I feel like this is all blown out of proportion. I mean, I wrote a few little poems-
Ghost:
"A few little poems." Listen to you, Mr. Green! Here's what I see. I see a guy. A mantis. Who's evil. COMPLETELY evil! But hidden beneath all that evil is a very tender poet - SCREAMING TO BE SET FREE!
Zorak:
EEEEYYYAAAAHHHH!
Ghost:
This is big, Zorak!
Zorak:
Ehh, it is?
Ghost:
Excuse me for a moment. Audience, yes, we're still doing the Cartoon Planet Top Five Countdown. As a matter of fact, here comes Cartoon Number Five right now.
Zorak, let's talk.


0:58

Ghost:
We're back with more of the Cartoon Planet Top Five Countdown. But first, here's our very own Zorak to read a poem!
Zorak:
It's titled, "'Tis Misfortune that leaves me".
Ghost:
I've got goosebumps the size of golf balls!
Zorak:
Ah-ahem,
'Tis misfortune that leaves me
In such a metal hole as this
Whilst I wait for thee, O redeemer,
I shall ponder:
Who's been touchin' my stuff?
You toucha my stuff, I breaka yo' face!
I breaka, I breaka, I breaka yo' face!

You didn't like it.

Ghost:
I- no, it's not that I didn't like it, it's ... just ... are they all like that?
Zorak:
Oh, no!
Ghost:
Okay, good. Ummm ... hey, here comes Cartoon Number Four.


0:50

Ghost:
Let's continue with the Cartoon Planet Countdown. But first, here's another vneema- but first, here's another wonderful poem from Zorak!
Zorak:
I love a wheat roll with a slice of tomato
And a big crunchy cockroach, hey, hold the mayo.
My lovely roach sandwich, I savor the taste,
You toucha my sandwich, I breaka you' face!
I breaka, I breaka, I breaka yo' face!
Ghost:
Oh, we-he-he-he-he-ll now, boys and girls, uh, wasn't that, uh... iiiinteresting.
Zorak:
You didn't like it.
Ghost:
No, I-I-I mean, I don't know. But-but I do know you'll like this next cartoon! It's Number Three!


0:53

Ghost:
On we go with the Cartoon Planet Top Five Countdown. Uhh... but first here's Zorak with another poem.
Zorak:
Beware the galloping Gargyloid
With his horrible hard-boiled eggs like-
Ghost:
Not that one! Read the bunny one!
Zorak:
Oh. Okay.
I love my fluffy bunny.
Its nose is oh so warm.
Its tail is cute and round.
Its ears are long and funny.
Its teeth are bucky and silly.
I love my fluffy bunny.
Ghost:
Now, isn't that nice? Aaahhh!
Zorak:
It's called, "I love My Fluffy Bunny".
Ghost:
Mmmm. I feel all tingly.
Hey! Here comes Cartoon Number Two!


0:42

Ghost:
It's magic time here on the Cartoon Countdown! Time for the Number One Cartoon!
Zorak:
Wait! I have another poem.
Ghost:
Yeah, well make it quick!
Zorak:
I call this one "My Heart Hangs Heavy with Sadness."
Ghost:
Yes, well, get it over with.
Zorak:
My heart hangs heavy with sadness.
The blossom of my youth has vanished!
Who toucha the blossom of my youth?!
You toucha the blossom of my youth-
Ghost:
I know, I know, "I breaka yo' face!"
Zorak:
No, I breaka YO' face!
Ghost:
Thank you, Zorak! And now, our Number One Cartoon!


Sketches Cartoon Network. HTML document Kim McFarland.
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