"Dear Zorak, my girlfriend and I used to get along just fine until we started giving each other little love names. She called me her Little Sticky Insect, which I liked, but then when I called her My Big Basket of Onion Rings she hit me with a rake! Why?"
"Dear Zorak, there's this cute little tomahto-"
"-that lives on my planet's moon that I'm crazy about! But she won't give me a tumble because I'm a potahto."