Written by
Silver Tiger and
CPFace
(The doors close, and Cambot pans over to the window next to the Hexfield. Mike, Bob, and the 'bots are looking out the window, into outer space. Some sparkly stuff is raining across the window.)
Bob: Wow, it's really coming down out there.
Crow: Yeah, I hope the experiment gets canceled.
Mike: (noticing Cambot) Oh, hi everyone, and welcome to the Satellite of Love. We're all pretty excited, because we're in the middle of a really bad ion storm here.
Servo: In particular, we're excited because the ion storm will most likely interfere with the Brain Guy's brainwaves, meaning the Mads won't be able to transmit today's experiment.
Mike: Well, don't get your hopes up you guys, just in case we're in for a disappointment.
Crow: If we have the day off today, I'm going to go sledding!
Mike: You can't go out there; there's a huge cloud of randomly charged particles engulfing us.
Crow: So? Servo's mom said he could go.
Mike: Yeah, well I'm not Servo's mom, and. . . (Mike suddenly stops, confused.)
Bob: Hey guys, the transmission light's on.
Mike: Here it comes. . .
(They go over and hit the red light.)
Mike: Hey, what's up with the clan MacLeod today?
(Switch to a shot of the Widowmaker, with everyone in their respective seats. The image is very fuzzy and, though Pearl seems to be talking, there's no audio at all. Switch back to the SOL. Everyone's getting excited.)
Mike: (mock confusion) Umm, I'm sorry? Could you repeat that?
(Fuzzy shot of the Widowmaker. Pearl seems to be outraged. Back to the SOL.)
Mike: I'm sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed.
(Shot of the Widowmaker. Pearl rolls her eyes. They begin talking amongst themselves, sometimes pointing at the SOL crew. Finally, Pearl smiles sweetly and waves "bye-bye". Back to the SOL, where celebration is in the air. Music begins playing in the background.)
Mike: Wow, this is just like when I was five years old and we had a snow day, except that my dad's not making me shovel the driveway.
Servo: Yeah. Now all you have to do is go out and re-align the diffraction modules.
Bob: You know, I've been wondering. . . how did this come to be?
Crow: (overacting) Why, what do you mean?
Bob: You know, this whole big MRT4K thing. How did we get where we are today?
Servo: Well, I'm glad you asked, my digital colleague, because today, for one day only, for everyone out there who has no idea what's going on, we present the Amazing Colossal Mystery ReBoot Theater 4000 recap song! As seen on TV, accept no substitutes, not responsible for feelings of nauseousness or hair loss!
(The music swells. It's the tune of -- you guessed it -- "I Am the Very Model of a Sergeant Major General".)
Servo:
Everything was status quo up here aboard
the S-O-L
They sent us cheesy B-movies to make our
life a living hell.
But then one day a huge and glowing portal
opened in our sky,
And Bob fell through, and screaming too,
as he gave a startled cry.
Bob: Noooo!
Mike:
All of us quivered in fear, we thought we
had no barrier,
except a couple of measly shields to protect
us from a new terror.
But it was just a plot device to send Bob
over here to us-
Bob:
It wasn't fin, they hauled me in, with a
minimal amount of fuss.
Servo and Crow:
It wasn't fin, we hauled him in, with a
minimal amount of fuss.
It wasn't fin, we hauled him in, with a
minimal amount of fuss.
It wasn't fin, we hauled him in, with a
minimal amount of fu-u-u-ss...
Mike:
A message came from Pearl's Van and so the
Hexfield switched it on,
This Bob was from a computer and would now
be included in the theme song.
Servo:
His archnemesis Megabyte had sent him here
to watch bad movies,
gleaned from archives, Web sites, and sometimes
Late Night Mike the TV.
Crow & Bob:
His archnemesis Megabyte had sent him here
to watch bad movies,
gleaned from archives, Web sites, and sometimes
Late Night Mike the TV.
Bob:
I went from MiSting to MiSTing trying my
best to go with it,
though some bits of each story had me ranting
in an incoherent fit.
I soon learned how to rift with ease and
grace that belonged to the rest of the crew-
-although I still get shudders when I think
of what we've still to do.
Mike & Bots:
He soon learned how to rift with ease and
grace that belonged to the rest of the crew-
-although he still gets shudders when he
thinks of what we've still to do.
Mike:
We've still gotten through this pretty well
at any given time.
Tom:
Through Hex's visit, other worlds, fan fic
authors and story-slime.
Crow:
And when we're finally free from here and
watching really bad movies,
We can rely on our loyal fans for merchandising
royalties!
Bob:
Megabyte and Pearl hope to use these fics
to drive us nuts.
Sending us screaming out of the theater
and generally crack us up,
We gamble on our wits to save us and keep
us sane every day,
It seems to be working and for now everything's
okay!
All:
We gamble on our wits to save us and keep
us sane every day,
It seems to be working and for now everything's
okay.
It seems to be working and for now every-thing's
okay!!!
(End chord)
(As they take their bows, roses are thrown before them, confetti pours from the ceiling, and they receive a standing ovation. Cambot pulls out a bit to show that Pearl, Megabyte, Observer, and Bobo are standing stage right, applauding.)
Mike: Thank you evil pursuers, and now for our next number, our take on a little something from Cats called. . . (double take) What the. . . hey!
Pearl: (neighborly) Hi Mike. Great musical number. Have you been working on it long?
Mike: (baffled) Buh. . . wuh. . . what are you guys doing here?
Pearl: Oh, see, we realized this ion storm was interfering with our transmission and we wouldn't be able to send you your story, so Chalky here had this great idea to link up with you and deliver it manually.
Mike: (downhearted) Oh. Well, that's really great, Pearl. . .
Pearl: But then I got to thinking, "Here Mike and the 'bots have this big huge satellite that they're never even going to use while we sit in our cramped little microbus, so as long as we're linking up, why don't we just move in?"
Bobo: We're going to be roommates!
Bob: (incredulous) What? You can't do that!
Pearl: Oh, don't worry about a thing, you'll hardly notice us at all. (to Bobo) Bobo.
Bobo: Yes Lawgiver?
Pearl: Go get my things.
(Bobo scurries off.)
Mike: Okay guys, family meeting.
(Mike, Bob, and the 'bots huddle stage left.)
Crow: I say we launch the decoy and make a break for it.
Servo: (sarcasm) Oh great idea, Crow. Brilliant idea. There's only two small problems. One: We don't have a decoy. Two: We don't have a decoy. Now, technically, that's only one reason, but it's such an important one that. . .
Mike: Oh would you knock it off with the Red Dwarf shtick! We've got to do something about the overwhelming evil presence that's invading our ship!
Bob: I don't know. . . I say we go along with it.
Servo: Bob? Have you been dipping into those magnets again?
Bob: No really. . . I mean, now they can't make us read those stories anymore! Think about it. They can't turn off the oxygen or zap us or anything without putting themselves at risk too.
(Realization dawns.)
Mike: By God, I think you're on to something!
Servo: Sweet mother of mercy, no!
(Servo hovers over stage right. The Mads have gotten a game of Monopoly going. Bobo walks in, adding a large and heavy-seeming chest to an already large pile of Pearl's belongings.)
Servo: My limited edition deluxe Monopoly set with the wooden houses and gold tokens and the little choo choo train piece that I've been saving in a dark, dry corner of the SOL for the past five centuries! And they're playing with it!
(Servo continues to overreact, and Mike has to hold him back.)
Pearl: (non-chalantly) Mike, you wanna take care of your dog here? He's getting a little rambunctious.
Megabyte: And by the way, your story today is a little crossover wrenched from the archives of --
Mike: Oh no you don't. We've got you there.
Pearl: (not even feigning interest) Why, whatever do you mean?
Mike: I mean, you can't make us. If you turn off the oxygen or zap us or whatever, you'll die too.
Crow: Yeah. Give us one good reason why we should play along with you.
Pearl: I got three good reasons. (she taps Observer on the shoulder, prompting him to speak.)
Observer: Have I mentioned lately that I loathe you for what you've done to me and my world and that I have infinite powers which I can use to destroy you with a gesture?
Bobo: Yeah, and me too, except for the part about the infinite powers and destroying you.
Megabyte: And me too, except for the part about you destroying my world, and having infinite powers and. . . oh, let's just say it's in your best interests that you do and leave it at that.
Pearl: So, into that the-ay-ter, youse. I've got a game to dominate here.
Bobo: Can I read the story too?
Pearl: (ignoring him) Sure, knock yourself out.
Bobo: (excited monkey noise) I'll go make some popcorn! (he scurries off.)
Crow: Miiike! Do something! They're gonna mess everything up and stuff!
Mike: Look, calm down. We'll figure something out and everything'll be back to normal in two hours, okay?
(Lights and sirens)
Bob: In the meantime. . . WE'VE GOT MOVIE SIGN!
(The good guys dash off.)
