In the not-too-distant future --
Inside of your PC --
A lot of people are living there
Not too different from you or me.

Dot Matrix was a business sprite
And she led the system when they got in fights
But an evil virus needed her out of the place
So he dragged the SOL in and he shot her into space!

(Oh. . . My. . . USER!)

"I'll send them cheesy stories
The worst Bob and I can find" (La La La)
But Bob can't help Dot to escape
'Cause Megabyte's infected his mind(La La La)"

Now keep in mind, she can't control
Where the story begins or ends (La La La)
She'll try to keep her sanity
With Mike Nelson and his robot friends

Robot Role Call!

Cambot (Rrrrrroll 'em!)
Gypsy (Am I still here?)
Tom Servo (Front and center!)
Crooooow! (What're you looking at?)

If you're wondering where the plot has gone
And why the time scale seems out of whack (La La La)
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a crossover
I should really just relax!"

Mystery ReBoot Theater 4000!

Written by CPFace

(No door sequence. Fade in to a front view of Dot, Servo, and Crow sitting in the theater. Dot's poring over the cultural reference book Bob had.)

Crow: All right Dot, I know it's been a tough couple of days --

Dot: Seconds.

Crow: . . . Seconds for you, and it's a lot of culture to absorb in such a short time, but your first experiment's today, and we've gotta give you a taste of what to expect.

Dot: Okay, but is all this really necessary? Why do we have to talk over the story? Wouldn't it be easier to just ignore it?

Servo: You see Cambot over there? He's recording everything we do for people to read. We're not just making these stories more endurable for ourselves; we're making them more endurable for them. "Oh, I'm sorry you all read that really crappy story, but I didn't feel like making it funny." Is that what you're going to tell them? Is it?

Dot: All right, all right, I'm sorry.

Crow: Okay, you understand the whole time difference thing?

Dot: Sort of. . .

Servo: Perfect. Okay Cambot, shoot us that short "AndrAIa" ripoff.

Dot: Just one more thing: why are we doing this instead of trying to find a way to escape?

Crow: No more questions from this point on.

(Shadowrama view.)

by: Pisspot

Dot: That's. . . interesting. . .
Servo: Don't try so hard; just let it come nice and natural.
Crow: If you can't think of something, just let someone else try. That's what we're here for.

*This is yet another story from us rats.

Crow: My, what a promising beginning.

The setting of this story is two years after the restart of Mainframe, there is no more Daemon and the nets are at peace, as the Guardians

Servo: Are now out of a job.

have returned to their systems and have cleared their name. The ages of the main people in this story are as follow: Jenny 17, Staria 14, Trunks 18,

Dot: These are the main characters? Are you sure this is a ReBoot story?
Servo: Damn, we never covered self-insertion, did we?

Matrix 24, AndrAIa 23, Bob 26, Dot 25, and little Enzo 11. The story begins in Jenny's apartment in Mainframe.*

Jenny sets down her sketch pad

Crow: (Jenny) Counterfeiting money is harder than it looks.

as Staria walks in the den, "Hello Staria. How are you?" Staria plops down in a nearby chair, "Things for me are doing great, but little Enzo seems, I don't know,

Servo: (Staria) Decapitated.

a bit attached to me then normal." "He's probably just bored, there isn't really anything going on any more, I mean Daemon is deleted,

Dot: (Jenny) So he can't play with her anymore. . .
Crow: Hey, not bad. . .

so he isn't needed in the war any more.

Dot: (shocked) They sent a 01 boy to war?
Servo: Yeah, it must have been hard to fit battles around his nap schedule.
Dot: That's not the point! He could've been --
Crow: We know, Dot. We know.

There isn't really any other sprites his age but you." Staria sighs, "I guess your right Jen, but couldn't we gets some kids his age?"

Servo: (Staria) How much to they go for these days, two bucks a pound?

"How?" Staria starts levitating off the chair and hangs upside down,

Dot: (Jenny) Umm, Staria? You're doing it again.

"I don't know, your the user, just make some."

Dot: What? But. . .
Servo: Yes, humans actually think that way about us.
Crow: Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, doesn't it?

"I can't just "make some",

Crow: (Jenny) I've never even kissed a boy!

the only sprites I can make are game sprite templates for the games I make.

Dot: You mean. . . Users actually make those things?
Servo: Well, yeah. Where did you think they came from?
Dot: I don't know. . . the sky?

Here take a look at my sketches for the new game i'm making." Staria flips right-side up and sits back down, she takes the pad and flips through, "Hmm..

Crow: (Staria) Cute monsters killing each other? It'll never sell.

these look formidable. What game are you making?" "A Viking and Amazon one.

Crow: 'Cause, you know, the Vikings were the first to discover South America.

The user is a Viking that to win the game has to get through an Amazon village and defeat the queen Amazon."

Servo: So, burly man slays scantily clad women to conquer a civilization.
Crow: She sure knows how to get that male geek demographic.

"What if Bob or Matrix reboots? Will they be wearing little skirts and shirts like the ones in the picture?" "No,

Dot: (Jenny) They'll get full ballroom gowns.

there is a male amazon template." "Ok ok, can you make it though that when Trunks reboots he's wearing the female outfit?"

Servo: (Staria) He wanted to ask you himself, but he couldn't get up the nerve.

Staria starts laughing so hard she falls on the floor.

Crow: Laughter! (Joke not included.)

"Staria! No I won't do that, but you can." Staria looks up intrigued, "How?" Jenny smiles slyly and fetches a small device out of her duffel, "With this,

Servo: (Jenny) My portable castration kit! I never go anywhere without it.

just scan his icon with this and he'll reboot as a female." "Your so good when your bad." "No i'm not bad,

Dot: (Jenny) You're the one who's doing the dirty work. I'll deny everything in court.
Crow: Not bad. We also would have accepted, "I'm just drawn that way" or some variation thereof.

i'm just still mad at Trunks."

Servo: Look, the guy's named after something that covers a person's butt, I think he's suffered enough.

"What did he do now?" "He knocked over half of my collection of rare gems, I still haven't found them all."

Dot: (Jenny) And his pockets were bulging unnaturally as he left, and he just bought all those expensive cars, and I just don't know what could have happened to them.

The two girls start laughing at the image of Trunks as a female,

Servo: Tee hee! He'll have a bra on!

"What about Enzo?"

Crow: (Whoever) Can we make him a girl too?

"What about him?" "He'll go in the game, what if he does the same thing Matrix did at around this age?"

Dot: He can't. We don't even let him near the peanut butter anymore.

"You mean how AndrAIa got here?" "Yeah." "Well I don't think it'll be a problem,

Servo: (Whoever) It's not like the author is going to stoop so low as to rip off the entire "AndrAIa" episode.

I told Matrix not to tell him." "Yes, but did you tell AndrAIa?"

Dot: (Whoever) And what about Cecil, did you tell Cecil? And what of Phong? In the name of the Net, please tell me you told Phong!

A look of horror comes over Jenny's face, "No I didn't. Damn it!

Crow: (Jenny) Why did we trust her with such sensitive information?

I'd better find her." Jenny runs out of her apartment at record speed.

Servo: What, does she usually time herself?

After searching Matrix's apartment, the park, and the diner,

Dot: She was really, really tired.

then find AndrAIa at the Principle Office helping Dot. "AndrAIa can we talk?" "Sure Jen."

Crow: (AndrAIa) That's why we understand the noises coming out of each other's heads. Anything else you want to know?

They step into Dot's office. "AndrAIa, I forgot to tell you not to tell little Enzo where you came from and how you got here, ok?"

Servo: (Jenny) And if he asks, just light a smoke bomb and run.

"Umm.. Jen?" "Yes?"

Dot: (AndrAIa) We go through this conversation every second. It's worrying me.

"During the war Enzo asked me that question, and well I answered it."

Crow: (AndrAIa) I told him babies come from Heaven and grow up in cabbage patches.

"This is bad." "Very bad." At that very nano the computer rings out *Warning incoming demo, Warning incoming demo.*

Servo: All right, the User scored an advance copy of Diablo II!

Jenny and Staria look up with a start, "Demo? What does it mean demo?" "I don't know, let's find out." They race out of the Principle Office

Crow: Is sprinting just a really popular sport in Mainframe?
Dot: Not really.

followed by Dot, AndrAIa, Matrix, and Bob. They see a game cube dropping about three yards from them,

Servo: (Bob) Oh, don't worry. It's out of our jurisdiction.

but the cube is a pinkish purple, not the usual color. "A game demo?" Jenny pulls out her communicator and calls Pisspot

Crow: And I can think of a few things I'd like to call Pisspot.
Servo: Like what? I mean, how could you do worse than Pisspot?
Crow: Good point.

as they zip towards the cube. "Pisspot, what are you doing on the computer?"

Dot: (Pisspot) Writing another story. Why?

"Oh Hi Jen. MooMoo is playing

Servo: Wait, MooMoo?
Crow: Did they just decide to use the nicknames that the grade-school bullies gave them for their handles?

that game demo you made last night." "Pisspot it's not finished yet,

Dot: Umm, yeah, that'd be the definition of a demo.

there is only three levels and the last boss isn't even sketched yet, let alone in the game."

Crow: Well, hey, if you worked for Acclaim, that thing'd be ready to get pushed out the door!

"Oh, sorry Jen, should I tell her to end the game?" "No it's ok, I have to test it out anyways."

Dot: And what better way to test out an unfinished, unstable program capable of nullifying entire sectors than by jumping inside it?

The cube drops on them and Jenny's communicator goes blank, "Arrrghhhh,

Crow: (Pirate) Me buckos, ye be after me treasure map!

I have got to find away around that." Jenny angrily shoves the device into her duffel

Servo: (Jenny) Arrrghhhh! Stupid device! I've had enough of you and your not being in my duffel!

and looks around at their surroundings,

Crow: Angrily.
Servo: (Jenny) Arrrghhhh! Stupid surroundings!

they are in a thick forest. "Ok everyone, let's do this. REBOOT!" Bob, Dot, Staria, Matrix, AndrAIa, and Trunks

Crow: Exploded.
Servo: Angrily. Arrrghhhh!
Dot: Am I allowed to tell you to stop doing that joke?
Crow: No.
Servo: Arrrghhh!

follow suit, they are soon clothed in green and brown outfits, the girls in short green tops and brown skirts with their icons on their belts,

Dot: (AndrAIa) So, this is what wearing a shirt is like.

the boys in brown shirts and darker brown pants but with their icons on their shirts. "Trunks how did you get in here?"

Crow: (Trunks) Plot hole.

"Um.. well, you see, I was on my way to the diner and I got trapped in here."

Dot: (Trunks) And I was too stupid to notice a giant purple cube was landing on my head.

"Anyone know where Enzo is?" "I lost sight of him, me and him were racing to see who could get to the diner first,

Servo: Racing, one of the fastest-growing sports in Mainframe!

he's probably at the diner." Dot looks relieved, "Ok so what do we do first?"

Crow: Just a hunch, but perhaps "kill the User"?

Jenny pulls her keytool out of her now green duffel bag, "Peppy, game stats.

Dot: Peppy?
Crow: We've heard worse.

We have to head to the village to get weapons to defeat the user,

Servo: Because, in this game, the enemies start out being defenseless.
Crow: Ever notice how much more sense the Games make from the sprites' perspective than they do from the User's perspective?

we can choose from a staff, a sword, arrows, or daggers.

Dot: Why did she have to consult her keytool? Didn't she make this game?
Servo: First rule of owning a keytool: Use it for every job, no matter how minor.
Crow: Glitch! Lint brush!

Ok let's move out." They head down the path towards the village. Deeper in the forest,

Servo: (singing) The mighty forest, the lion sleeps tonight. . .

Enzo is also heading towards the village,

Dot: But he was supposed to be --
Crow: Dot, when are you going to realize that you have to keep that kid on a leash?

"I wonder if i'll meet up with the others?"

Servo: (Enzo) I wonder if they'll loan me some lunch money?

About three nanos later he enters the village, he walks up to one of the game sprites,

Crow: Natural selection at work, ladies and gentlemen.
Dot: (holding up a hand as though trying to stop him) No, Enzo! What did I tell you about strange Game sprites?

"Hello, have you seen any of my friends? One of them has blue skin and the other has green skin." The adult man

Servo: As opposed to an infant man, I suppose.

sprite shakes his head "no", "Thank you anyways." Enzo seeks out the weapons hut and grabs some arrows and sits down to wait for his friends.

Dot: You know, he knows the rules to this game a little too well. . .

"Trunks, I said it is that way!" "Well I think it's this way!"

Crow: Oh no. If Hack and Slash are in this one. . .

Staria and Trunks continue yelling at each other, "You wouldn't know which way it was even if you build the road yourself!"

Servo: Hey, speaking of that, why is the game designer not directing the way?

"Well at lest I didn't trip over a tree root five times in a row!

Dot: Umm, weren't me and Bob and Matrix and AndrAIa in this story at some point? What happened to that?

Hmmmp!!" "Hrmmmp!!"

Crow: And they have an impromptu burping contest.

Staria turns her back to Trunks. Jenny gets up from she was sitting with the others in the party,

Dot: Oh, there we are. "The others".

"Will you two stop fighting, god you two sound like an old married couple."

Servo: (Jenny) Why don't you do drugs and talk about Britney Spears like normal people?

Trunks and Staria both get shocked and angry looks on their faces,

Crow: (Trunks) How dare she insinuate that we're behaving like adults with a permanent relationship!

"What!?!?" "You heard me! Now stop yelling!

Servo: (Jenny, screaming) STOP IT! JUST STOP YELLING!

The village is ten yards that way,

Dot: Then. . . why did we all stop there?

which might I point out that neither of you were correct." Staria and Trunks shrink back from Jenny's out burst

Crow: And the Alpha Mary Sue re-establishes dominance of the pack.

and follows her down the path, soon they come upon the village and notice Enzo sitting there, "Enzo? What are you doing here?"

Servo: (Whoever) Why haven't you run off and gotten into trouble? It's not like you.

"Hi Sis! I was waiting for you guys." "Enzo you shouldn't be in the game." "Dooot!

Servo: Doot?

I'm a level three cadet, I think i'm allowed in the games now."

Dot: How did a 01 boy get to be a level three cadet already?
Crow: The miracle of suspended disbelief.

Dot looks as if she was going to argue the point but stops when she notices the look on everyone's faces.

Servo: (low voice) Conform. . .
Crow: (low voice) Conform. . .

"Ok, i'll just have to get use to it again."

Dot: It's not like anything went wrong the first time I let him wander into the Games.

Jenny smiles happily

Servo: (Jenny) Hooray for child endangerment!

and slaps Dot on the back, "That's the spirit Dot,

Crow: (Jenny) Way to give in to peer pressure!

now let's get some weapons." They head towards the hut and grab the weapons they need, Jenny and Matrix grab swords,

Servo: 'Cause the people of the Amazon basin were expert ironworkers during the Dark Ages.

AndrAIa chooses arrows,

Dot: (Amazon) Excuse me, ma'am, but we've got to run a criminal record check, plus there's a three-day "cooling down" period. . .

Staria and Dot grab staffs,

Crow: Whose staffs?
Servo: Hey, shh!

and Bob and Trunks each grab daggers.

Servo: Dagger? I don't even know her!
Crow: This guy. . . I tell ya. . .

"Ok let's get in groups of two and hunt for the user,

Dot: (Whoever) That way our focus will be divided and the User's objective, this village, will be completely undefended.

everyone pair up with a game sprite and head out." "The game sprites? Why?"

Crow: (Whoever) Well, we needed to fill out the cast a little, and we didn't want to come up with original characters.

"Yes the game sprites, because they know the forest better." After everyone picked their partner,

Servo: Now, see, if this was a Jo Ann story, we would've gotten about ten pages out of the "partner picking scene".
Crow: Complete with three paragraphs dedicated to introducing the new characters to her baby, of course.
Servo: Oh, of course.

each group heads off in a different direction, four groups take to the trees

Dot: Where it's easier to move and they're more likely to find the User.

and the other three go by ground.

Enzo's group is one of the one's the are on the ground, " I guess we're partners now,

Servo: (Enzo) So, how do you want to divide up the lab report?

cool. My name's Enzo, what's yours?" The game sprite next to him looks up,

Crow: (Sprite) Did I just hear an annoying squeaky sound?
Dot: Hey! That's my brother!
Crow: Well. . . it's nothing personal.

"My name is HippalAIa,

(The bots chuckle.)

my friends call me Hipa." "That's a nice name.

Servo: (Enzo) It's got internal caps. Reminds me of someone. . .

Is it cool being a game sprite?" Hipa looks annoyed,

Crow: (Hipa) There it is again. Is there something in my ear or something?

"It's ok, I guess.

Dot: (Hipa) If you're into that whole "living in a constant warzone" thing.

Shouldn't we be concentrating on finding the enemy?"

Servo: (Enzo) Ah, someone'll cover for us. Say, do you like rollerblading?

"Oh, of course, sorry." Hipa smiles

Crow: (Hipa) That should shut him up for a while.
Dot: Do you guys have something against Enzo? I mean, a joke's a joke, but this seems a little hostile.
Servo: Well, no, of course we don't have anything against Enzo.
Crow: Not the real Enzo.
Servo: It's just that all we ever get to see of him is what the fans write about him.
Crow: Yeah. I mean, you know Enzo as the little boy you grew up with and who you saw become a man. . .
Servo: . . . While all we ever see is a hyperactive little boy who's only around for comic relief.
Crow: Or a big, partially lobotomized oaf who goes around blowing up things.
Dot: Really?
Servo: Sad but true.
Dot: Wow. . . what do you see me as?
Crow: Ummm. . .
Servo: Uhhh. . .
Crow: Let's continue the story, shall we?

and turns back to looking for the user.

Dot: What? Is it something bad?
Servo: This isn't the time. Maybe after the experiment.

Enzo takes a good look at his companion,

Crow: Angrily.

Hipa has darkish tan skin, green hair, magenta eyes,

Crow: Okay, we're doing a list. Go!
Servo: Outty naval.
Crow: Mono eyebrow.
Dot: Webbed toes.
Crow: Appendectomy scar.
Servo: Prominent underbite.
Dot: Pierced ears and nostrils.
Crow: Hey, not bad people!

her outfit is the same as the other female outfits but her icon is on her shirt and her clothes are different colors then the normal female outfit,

Dot: You'll just have to guess what they are.

and the weapon she carries is a staff.

Crow: The staff: the economic alternative to a weapon.

Enzo raises his bow and helps look for the user.

Servo: (Enzo) Must. . . observe. . . more. . .

There is a rustling of bushes behind them, the two young sprite turn around to find a huge Viking welding an axe above his head.

Servo: Oh, the User's got a little welding shop up there.


Crow: (Enzo) What do I do now?

Hipa winks at Enzo

Servo: (Hipa) You're screwed.

and throws something on the ground which produces a bright flash, Hipa grabs Enzo's arm and jumps up in the trees.

Dot: Dislocating Enzo's shoulder.

"That was close, what was that you threw?"

Servo: (Hipa) The sun.

"A flash bomb." "I'm glad you had it, but I didn't see any in the weapon hut." "Oh, heh I make them in my spare time."

Servo: (Hipa) I'm also into the independant board game scene.

Enzo looks confused, "Spare time?"

Crow: (Enzo) Is that some kind of pie filling?

"Yeah, when i'm waiting for the enemy."

Dot: (Hipa) I do have a life outside this tribe, you know.

Suddenly they hear a noise behind them in the trees, Enzo raises his bow and aims it towards the sound.

Servo: First rule of hunter safety: fire at anything that moves.

A figure emerges from the branches

Crow: (falsetto) Ends of the earth. . . ends of the earth. . .

and Enzo lets an arrow fly, "Hey! Are you trying to kill me?" Jenny comes into view holding the arrow she caught.

Servo: (Enzo) Damn, damn. . . I mean, sorry!

"Sorry Jen, I thought you were the user."

Crow: (Enzo) It was supposed to look like an accident.

"What are you doing up here? Your group is one of the ground ones."

Servo: (Jenny) Are you trying to cut in on our turf?

Hipa and Enzo point down after looking to see if the user was still there,

Dot: So, it's just standing there? And it doesn't notice them at all?
Crow: Maybe they're really high up or something.

Jenny looks down and smiles evilly. "Heh heh, bye bye user." She jumps out of the tree

Crow: Or maybe they're not really high up.
Servo: Maybe this "MooMoo" is a few dice short of a Yahtzee set.
Dot: Why didn't Enzo just finish the User off himself?
Crow: The self-inserts didn't get a chance to show off how incredible they are yet.

and slices the user is two,

Crow: See? There we go.

after a few milliseconds Jenny looks up confused, "Hey why isn't the game over?

Servo: (Jenny) I proved myself to be more useful than the normal ReBoot cast. What's taking so long?

Peppy game stats." Peppy whirls to life,

Crow: (Peppy, annoyed) Yeah, what is it this time? You want your nose blown?

"Oh I see now, the user has one more life. Dang!!"

Dot: (Jenny) I keep forgetting how I designed this Game!

Jenny jumps back into the trees, "Enzo the user has another life, your group continue down that way and my group

Crow: (Jenny) Me and my invisible friend here. . .

will go this way." Jenny disappears into the trees, Enzo and Hipa jump down and continue down the path. "Who was that, Enzo?"

Servo: (Enzo) Don't you remember? We all met in the village.
Crow: (Hipa) What village?

"That was my sis Jenny."

Dot: His. . . sis?
Servo: Don't think about it. This kinda thing happens all the time.

"Oh." "Well not my real sis,

Crow: (Enzo) More like my "self-inserted acquaintance who wishes she was my sister" sis.

i've known her so long that it seems like she's my sis."

Dot: I've known Bob for a long time, but that doesn't mean I'd call him my brother.

"I'm not going to see again after this game, am I Enzo?"

Servo: Is she going blind?

"I very much doubt it Hipa."

Crow: (Enzo) Your cataracts look pretty bad.

Hipa has a sad look on her face

Servo: (comfortingly) Hey, all sorts of people adapt to blindness! Don't let it get you down!

even as she continues to look for the user, "I wish I could go with you."

Dot: (Hipa) Our deep, meaningful five nanoseconds together have convinced me to leave my home and family.

"But you can Hipa!" Hipa looks at Enzo sadly,

Crow: (Hipa) Uh oh. What did I just get myself into?

"How? I'm a game sprite." "The same way AndrAIa did." "Who's AndrAIa?" "A game sprite who is married to my brother Matrix.

Servo: Huh. That's a surprisingly complete summary of AndrAIa's character.

She saved a back-up of herself and placed it on his icon and when the game was over she was reactivated and she now lives outside of the games."

Dot: (Enzo) And the horribly disfiguring scars are really easy to get used to!

A hopeful look comes over Hipa's face,

Servo: (Hipa) So it won't actually be me? It'll just be a copy?

"Really? Can I?" "Yeah, I don't think anyone will mind."

Crow: (Enzo) Dot'll love having another mouth to feed!

They're walking around still talking about it when the user jumps out at them,

Servo: (User) Booga booga booga!

"What is it with the user attacking just us?"

Crow: (Enzo) It's almost like he's some kind of Viking trying to battle his way through the jungle and defeat the Queen Amazon.

"I don't know Enzo, but let us remedy this."

Dot: (Hipa) But first, let me talk like AndrAIa a little to make this ripoff even more obvious.

"Yes, let's" Enzo starts shooting the user with arrows and Hipa aims for the user's icon with her staff,

Servo: As the User stands there, completely immobile.

after about ten shoots the user is deleted. "Well, it's now or never Hipa."

Crow: (Hipa) You mean, I get to choose?

Hipa takes off her icon and places a back-up copy on Enzo's icon. *Game Over, Game Over.* "It's now. Bye Enzo." The game cube lifts up

Servo: I hope it remembered to bend at the knees.

and Enzo sees Jenny standing about eight yards from him yelling at Staria, "Would you please stop fighting with Trunks in the middle of a game?!?"


"Sorry." Enzo runs up to Jenny excitedly, "Hey Jen!" Jenny turns around looking annoyed till she sees it's Enzo,

Servo: Then she looks really annoyed.

"Hey little Bro, what this on your icon?" Jenny presses the icon and in a blinding flash of light Hipa is standing next to them, "Enzo! It worked! Yeah!" Enzo and Hipa hug,

Dot: Because 01 children show their feelings for the opposite sex physically.

"Yah, alphanumeric!" Dot taps Enzo on the shoulder, "Enzo Matrix! How could you do this,

Servo: (Enzo) Easy! I just put a copy of her on my icon, and. . .

you've been talking too much to AndrAIa on this subject, haven't you?"

Crow: (Dot) Do you realize the penalties for copying software?

"Umm... well.. yeah I guess." Dot now has a mad look on her face,

Dot: This Game sprite's going to be your responsibility. I'm not going to feed her or walk her or clean up after her, understand?

Jenny places a hand on Dot's shoulder, "Dot calm down, Matrix did the same thing, well almost." "I still don't like it."

Dot: I'm coming off as being. . . kind of a jerk, aren't I? Is that one of the things you see me as?
Crow: Well. . .

Dot jumps on her zip board and zip towards the Principle Office, "Don't worry, she'll calm down.

Servo: (Jenny) She'll see things different after we rough her up a little.

I completely forgot to ask your name." "It's HippalAIa, my friends call me Hipa." Jenny extends her hand, "Welcome to Mainframe Hipa,

Crow: (Jenny) May your relationship with Enzo be as shallow as AndrAIa's.

i'm Jenny. This is Staria, Bob, Trunks, Matrix, AndrAIa, and that was Dot who stormed off.

Servo: Again, had this been a Jo Ann story, we would've gotten ten pages out of the introductions, complete with frequent, penetrating excursions into the back story.
Dot: Who's this "Jo Ann" person?
Crow: Pray to whatever benevolent being you believe in that you never find out.

Come on let's go introduce you to the rest of the gang." The whole group of sprites walk towards the near-by diner,

Crow: Dot's Diner: The only restaurant in the Net.

Jenny grabs Enzo and Matrix by their arms, "What is it with you Matrix boys and game sprites?"

Servo: (Matrix) Hey, haven't you ever tasted one?

Both boys just smile and shrug,

Crow: Uh oh, Matrix is smiling. Run. Fast.

they continue on down the street.

*This is the end of this story, I have been your story teller Pisspot.*

Dot: So. . . that's it?
Crow: Yep.
Dot: How'd I do?
Servo: Not too bad. It comes with practice, but I think it'll work.
Dot: Huh. That wasn't so bad. I mean, can these things really hurt us?
Crow: Try to remember that you said that after the experiment's over.
Servo: Speaking of which, let's hit the road.

(We're on the SOL. Dot and the 'bots enter the bridge, looking none the worse for their experience.)

Crow: But you know what really gets me about that story?

Dot: The fact that they shamelessly ripped off the entire story from one of our episodes?

Crow: No. It's that joke in the beginning where they wanted to dress Trunks up like a woman.

Servo: I hear you. I mean, why is it, in our desire to close the gender gap, that we still associate men in women's roles with humiliation?

Crow: I mean, a woman wears pants, and it's progressive. She's throwing off the shackles of traditional dress. But a man wears a dress, and he's a subject of amusement. How are we supposed to achieve true gender equality if men are discouraged from adopting female qualities?

Servo: The failure of Ask Harriet alone should indicate how tired our society as a whole is of crossing genders as a source of amusement. Why can't people just drop it?

(Mike walks in reluctantly, dressed in a miniskirt and matching blouse.)

Mike: (nervously) Umm. . . hi. . . I'm kinda having problems getting this icon you gave me to work.

Crow: See? Like this. I mean, is this even funny? So he's wearing a skirt. Are we supposed to find this amusing?

Servo: Hmmm. . . I dunno. . . I think I'm going to take some pictures just in case. (He hovers off.)

Mike: (to Dot) I dunno. I think I'm just going to go back to real clothes. This seems too complicated.

Dot: Are you sure? It's a lot more convenient once you get used to it.

Mike: Yeah. . . it's just, I dunno, me and computers. . . we don't get along very well. . .

Crow: Uh, Mike? Considering where we are, you might want to keep quiet about that. We smell fear, you know.

Mike: Oooo, I forgot about that. Right. Did you do the introduction thing yet?

Crow: No, we were waiting for you. We know how happy that makes you.

Mike: Hey, great. Umm, hi everyone, Mike Nelson here with Dot Matrix and Crow T. Robot.

Dot: Hi.

Mike: Just to bring you up to speed, this freak ion storm sucked us all into Mainframe, and Bob escaped and now Dot's here with us, and it's just been a big mess up here getting used to everything.

(The red light starts flashing, conveniently enough.)

Dot: (pointing) Is there a problem?

Mike: (hitting it) No, it's just Dark Helmet's calling.

Dot: Who?

Mike: Megabyte.

Servo: (off-camera) Smile!

(A flash of light, Polaroid winding sounds.)

(Interior The Tor)

Megabyte: Ah. Hello Nelson, robots-and Dot! How are things up there today?


Dot: (Coldly) You know, I used to think I couldn't hate you anymore than I already did. It's amazing how wrong a person can be sometimes.

(The Tor)

Megabyte: (Mock hurt) Why Dot, this wasn't my intent at ALL! If there's anything I can do to make your visit more comfortable-


Dot: Make it shorter?

(The Tor)

Megabyte: Well except that. Let's be honest, now that I have the Satellite locked in orbit around my sector I'm hardly going to let you all go now am I? There's no way for you to escape the way Bob temporarily did either.


Mike: Speaking of which, how's our former fellow prisoner?

(The Tor)

Megabyte: He's. . . resolving a few difficulties as we speak.

(Exterior shot of the Tor. We see a group of sprites at the bottom of the edifice. There's Mouse, AndrAIa, Matrix, and-Bob? They have on grim expressions of determination. "Bob", decked out in the season 3 Glitch-merged outfit, is addressing them.)

Bob: Now, we know that Megabyte somehow lured in and kidnapped Dot but so far he hasn't made any hostage or ransom demands. We should go in fearing the worst. Dot's a survivor though. We've gotten into Megabyte's Tor and beaten him before, and we can do it again!

AndrAIa: Uhm. . . should the Tor even be here though?

Matrix: What do you mean?

AndrAIa: It's just that-I could have SWORN it was deleted in the restart-

(Suddenly a vid-window pops up. The infected version of Bob on it shrugs.)

Infected Bob: Hey, it's a crossover. What do you expect?

AndrAIa: What in the NET?

Mouse: BOB? But-

Infected Bob: I bet you all didn't expect to see ME again, did you? 'Let's just forget about pre-season 3 Bob in the Web and hire that new guy who looks like him with the similar voice', huh?

Mouse: Well honay, we WERE getting low on ideas-

Infected Bob: (Hurt) None of you even checked up on me!

Matrix: (Squinting) Hey Bob, you look different.

Infected Bob: Hmm? Oh yeah, I'm one of Megabyte's loyal subjects now. It's one of those plot twist things. Which reminds me, I should be stopping you. Nothing personal. (Glares at Glitch Bob) Except you. I hate you.

Glitch Bob: Me? What have I done?

Infected Bob: (Insulted) Oh come ON! The first time I saw Dot after being shot up in the Web you were hanging around with her, you merged yourself with my keytool leaving me Glitch-less and now you're leading a group of my friends in a dramatic rescue to impress the!

Glitch Bob: (Looking around shiftily) Oh, THAT.

Infected Bob: You don't think I'm going to be a LITTLE bitter? Well, anyhow- (suddenly grins evilly) let me show you what Megabyte's done with the place lately. (He presses a button on the control pad in front of him and a half-dozen missile silos pop up near the Tor's door.)

AndrAIa: (Resigned) I have a feeling this isn't going to be resolved for a very long time.

Matrix: No problem! GUN-target Silo!

Glitch Bob: Enzo! N-


(The infected version of Bob watches with deep satisfaction as our group of heroes goes flying, safe only because of a golden energy shield Glitch-Bob erected at the last moment. We see the gold bubble fly out over the city then land with a crash somewhere in Baudway.)

Bob: I think I'm really going to enjoy being evil.

(Back to the interior.)

Megabyte: Ah, it's the little things that make it all worth while. (chuckles) And now for your experiment, I'm afraid. It's stay_frosty's hideous foray into Season 4, "The Quest". It tells the timeless tale of "girl meets boy, girl goes away, boy gets killed, girl kills supervirus". Oh, and the girl's in a lot of pain. From the sorrow. There, you could write it. Enjoy.

(SOL. Tom's busily scanning pictures with his computer.)

Servo: Wow, being in the Net is great! We can get these pictures of Mike available to the public in a matter of nanoseconds!

Mike: Could you not do that please?

Crow: Ah, don't be such a traditionalist.

(Lights flash, sirens sound.)

Servo: We've got movie sign!

(Everyone dashes off. Dot hesitates.)

Dot: Umm, okay. (Runs off.)

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